I am not sure what to do anymore. Has anyone ever went through this?

Question

I had one of those weird childhoods. My parents never showed me any kind of affections. I have never once heard the word i love you from any of my parents. They got divorced when i was about 9 years old and when i tried to talk to my mom, she told me something that shut me out of this world for some reason. since then i never feel any affections for anyone. I mean i have met people that show me true kindness. But for some reason i just feel cold empty and when i try to feel something for some one i just get this aching pain in my heart. Since middle school i had girlfriends on and off. I always date them till i start feeling something and then i breakup. I found me a nice girl beautiful innocent and always there when i need her. I am trying to stay with her but this pain keeps getting worse. I mean sometimes i feel like my heart is being poked by pins literally. I went to the doc and she said she found nothing wrong. I don't know what to do. How can i stop this pain?

Answer 1

Children learn how to love by their parents what you need to do is learn on your own. I think that you should stay with this girl if you feel like she is someone you can make a connection with. Like if she is a girl you can confortable being around and that you can tell her anything. You need to do is tell her some of the things that went on in your childhood. I am also thinking since your parents are the root cause of how you feel maybe you should make peice with your parents. Not saying they were horrible to them but maybe try to make a connection with them and hug them. It might seem weird and not try giving up the first time you try. Maybe bring it up with your mom or dad about why you guys didnt talk about how they loved you and tell them that it hurts it really hurts inside and that you feel cold and that you are in so much pain on the inside. It might touch a nerve and dont give up the first time you try because sometimes it takes more then one try to get your message across.

Answer 2

By all means I don't mean this in a mean way. But sometimes I have known it to be true that if you are neglected at a young age your more likely to be homosexual. Have you ever considered a love of the same sex? And If your sure your not, and its no way a possibility, then, maybe you should wonder if its the people you are with. Sometimes people feel separated from love if they know that, that person isn't what they want to dedicate them self for a long period of time. When you find the love of your life. You will know it. And you wont have to doubt anymore.

Answer 3

You need to feel sounds like a good cry is needed!!! You have the power to give love your feeling love Or the pain wouldnt be there. You can say the words right then do so with all your friends and let the family go firends are family u choose so try it there then open up with that special somone and everthing else will work out! it will

Answer 4

seems like you need therapy. I can't believe i've actually met someone that shared the same misfortune. My parents were like that with us too. BUt the difference is that they were too proud to tell us they loves us or anything and hardly or neve said it. Now that we're all grown up we try to be different. There isn't a day that passes by that i don't tell my mom, brothers, my son, my Bf that i love them. When i say it to my mom she starts to cry even if it's everyday. That's how much it impacts her because she now knows that it emotionally hurt me and my bros alot that they weren't affectionate with us when we were little. I think you need to go to a therapist or psychologist. YOu have a lot of emoitons that you need to releave that haven't for years and you just need to let go and go on with your life. By you having relationships with girls and breaking up with them before you can confess that you feel something towards them you are denying your self of the greatest feeling the worl TO LOVE AND BE LOVED!!!! you need to get over this stage of your life because it;s the past and try to do the opposite of what your parents did to you and be double affectionate with people. family your relationship with gurls etc and it will be better.

Answer 5

The pain you describe is genuine love for another and once you let it in, the pain will stop and you will find happiness. The mistakes your parents made are-1.they were too wrapped up in their own misery with each other,2. they forgot to see you as their son and did not give you the emotional support you needed as a child. Don't make the same mistake they did and live in misery your whole life-let yourself be loved by another and return that love.

Answer 6

I don`t know ur age,but if you & her r really close; tell her ur problem and c if she can help. You apparently had a lonely childhood,and suffer from a comunication problem. My
father died when i was 10yrs. old,i was a little skinny runt & a mama`s boy . i took a lot of ridicle from so called friends growing up. That`s all part of growing up;& will pass with time , just like those ugly blackheads in high school.

Answer 7

i know what you are talking about, i went through the same thing. you just have to reliaze it is not your fought. Do you have a close friend? if you do then tell them. talk into you cry and then do it everyday untill you feel better. Do something you enjoy to make yourself feel better andif you are not sure you want to stay with the girl you are with now then break up with her. do not bring her into your life if you have not figured it out. spend time with yourself untill you feel you have gotten over this pain. if you want to talk i am here.

Answer 8

You need professional health. Even a clergyman could help you. When need to open your heart and see how happy you can be.