Is physical attraction a must?

Question

I recently met a guy that I really like. He's funny, smart, ambitious, generous, and we have really good conversations. He's crazy about me, and I feel good about him too. The only thing is that I'm not crazy about his looks. He dresses nice, he has great personal hygiene, but I'm just not attracted to his face. I know that sounds mean, but it's true. He's just not my type, physically. Aside from the looks though, the brotha has it going on. In my heart, I feel that I should try to make it work with my ugly man, but some people advise that I should not be with someone who is not attractive in my eyes.
I've dated handsome men in the past, but they were either jerks, cheaters, broke, or on the downlow. This guy seems different, but he's just not a looker. So, my question is: Is it necessary to be physically attracted to someone in order to be or stay with them?

I appreciate your answers.

Answer 1

Physical attraction is what would attract you to him.

But inner attraction is what would make you stick with him.

Dont do something that you'll think you'll regret, maybe you could try and see if you could work with someone who appreciates you rather then like all the other handsome jerks that seem to think your nobody.

See if you could live your life knowing thata even though his not handsome, he cares and is very nice to you...would you regret it just because of his face??? You could tell him to change his looks abit, for the sake of you, if your up to it.

BUT if you still cant love him and still feel you HAVE to have someone handsome and no matter how good he is in the inside you still cant love him truelly, dont waste your time and let him go.

Its your choice, choose it for the best.

Answer 2

This is a very good question...

Sounds like you are a visual person and looks DO matter to you....or a certain kind of look triggers your phermones.

I'm kinesthetic, so I go on feeling and just sort of sank into my feelings of attraction for my then-boyfriend (38 years ago) without doing any analysis that I can recall. I thought he was just right in all ways. Amazing really-- he didn't have a degree, a job, an inheritance, or even a real philosophy or religious affiliation. I just knew he was the one. Very amazing. Miraculous really, because he has grown into this solid, prosperous, loving, spiritual man who is an excellent husband, father, grandfather, and an elder at church. Where did he come from?

You refer to him as "my ugly man" and I'm not sure that that bodes well for the long haul.... don't 'settle' just because you are feeling some sort of drive to be coupled up with a man. I would suggest that you consider this man as a good friend and see what develops as the friendship grows.

God bless,

HealthiaCynthia
Certified Comprehensive Coach
Moderator for My Monday Miracles
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/

Answer 3

hmmm... that could be hard. Picture yourself without him for a day or two, dont see him, do you miss him? Does it feel as though a part of you is gone or missing? Does your heart hurt without him? If youre in love, there is nothing that could stop that, not even physical attraction. Sure it does help but its important to love someone who you can have a decent conversation with, who isnt always bragging about themselves, its just nice to have someone.......good. Besides, an attractive man becomes old and not attractive too. Go on dates with other guys, theres a perfect someone out for everyone, you just got to go with your gut.

Answer 4

It all depends on if you Love him or not. Or if you think that love could grow. I have to have a physical attraction. That doesn't mean they have to top the scales on looks but sometimes peoples personalities make them an 11. If you are worried about what others think then I wouldn't worry about it. Do you think less of someone when there with someone that's not so easy on the eyes? No..........that's not what makes a person. Go with what you feel deep inside. Always trust your instincts........Good Luck.

Answer 5

not at all. girl if he has everything goin on except his face...that probably as good as you can get right? its either a pretty boy with some major personality issues, like u said. I know ur gonna have to look at him all the time, but u still know that the relationship isnt just a physical one. it would be nice, but i think personialities click first. Maybe he'll suddenly become handsome if u give it a chance?

Answer 6

hmmmm.....ur situations quite hard 2 react with....just like you, i've also been in that situation or i may say i am being in that situation too....i am looking for a girl that's really good looking and with that i base my love for her....but someone can actually have both(not only physical attraction) attraction,and my answer to your question is doubtly YES..because its hard to love someone whom you are not physically atttracted with...but the other side is you must be considerate with someone else's personality..who knows, its just really not that physical attraction,it's TRUE LOVE...!!take care, i hope this will help you..

Answer 7

if you're not interested in sex, then the lack of physical attraction wouldnt be a problem.

if you're a very sexual person, but not physically attracted to this guy, sex can be boring and you'll feel unfulfilled in the long run and might cheat on him.

if you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you should be attracted to this guy.

Answer 8

well... if you really think that you have something going with this guy, stick with him and eventually you will be attracted to him. also by saying that he's not your type you're putting a barrier in the way of what could be a very good and happy relationship.

Answer 9

Give it a chance. Wouldn't you like to date a non-jerk, cheater or broke man for a change?

Answer 10

Physical attraction is not all that important. As long as you love him as he is, you'll probably grow to love his physical features as well... I say, stay with him.