really hurt me and my 2 kids when he moved out of our home under false pretenses only to move in with his girlfriend he has been cheating with for a year? Said he needs time to think and rest but he was cheating. Its been tough and he knows we are not happy but doesn't seem to care or just says whatever and I just want to shake sense into him for being a dumb ***. I'm hurt and tired any tips?
2006-12-07 15:02:43 · 16 answers · asked by Octavia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first thing you need to do is REALIZE that YOU ARE FAR MORE SPECIAL THAN HE THINKS!!! HIS LOSS!!!
Interesting...he moved out with you and in with her...not out on his own. She is only temporary until she decides she doesn't want to "support" him any longer. Remember he will have to provide support for the kids! But that won't be good enough to make him come running back to you.
The pretense was to allow him the opportunity to come back to you when he was done "playing" with her. He knew that it wasn't going to last but once caught, he didn't know what else to do. Believe it or not a PROUD MAN is a hard nut to crack! Surely, in his arrogance, he doesn't dare want to say "I'm sorry".
So if you love yourself...and I pray that you do...do yourself a favor, begin building another life for yourself that doesn't include him and let him have his OTHER life.
In the meantime, make sure that your children are getting what they need. The children understand that Daddy left to be with another woman. They understand that Mommy is not happy. They are probably living day to day just trying to make things work. It is not their jobs to make Mommy happy. So make sure they understand that you are there for them.
The hurt will last until the hurt goes away. You did/may still do, love him. But love yourself enough to let go! You are worth it. And besides, your true prince charming my be out ther waiting to make his move!!!
Good luck!
2006-12-07 15:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Kokomira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that when one party in a "happy" relationship cheats, then maybe the relationship wasn't as good for them as it was for the other. No doubt about it, he was a coward and a liar and a cheater and should have spent time trying to heal the relationship before resorting to comfort from another woman, but he didn't.
Stop being hurt and start getting even. Child support (if they're his kids), spousal support (if you two are legally married and he makes more than you) and then move on. You're not alone, you have your children. You all need each other, especially now.
And when you're ready, flaunt how much better your life is without having him around to drag you down. Leave the kids with a sitter and go out with your friends and socialize. Or take a breather outside of the area (with or without kids.) Open your eyes and realize that there is more to life than an unfaithful ex.
He may come crawling back. And if he does, kick him while he's down. Then, maybe, hint that you're considering on the option of maybe working things out with him if you both get a relationship counselor.
2006-12-07 23:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by S K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this must be really painful for you, I'm sorry. My wife just left me a month ago and I have 4 beautiful little girls. My wife is also "acting out" in ways that are hurtful. It's impossible to shake sense into anyone. You need to do the right thing for you and your kids. He's lost and that's sad. I would love to chat more if you need anything else.
2006-12-07 23:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by DaddyOf6Girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't realize he hurt you until he is ready to realize it. Problem is he is not thinking with the right head. My soon to be ex husband did the same thing to me and our 3 kids not once, not twice but three times with in a years time. You have to know when to cut your losses and just focus on whats best for you and your kids. I know it hurts but stay strong and good luck. There is someone out there that will treat you and your kids better than that.
2006-12-07 23:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by loqueen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may and may not realize it until they have problems .I know that's really hard for you but did he care a year ago?Pick up the pieces don't think on him. Go on through life like he never existed you will find love again even better then he ever dreamed he could be. so you and your babies will be happy and even be happy for him because you don't have to deal with his nonsense.It is best to know now then to find out 5 - 10 years down the road. God bless you and those children.
2006-12-07 23:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by wewamom2503 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish for hurting you like this. In my experience, there is no cure for selfishness. Realize that this is a permanent condition and there is not much chance it will change.
Now embrace your new freedom and move toward your future, without this loser.
2006-12-07 23:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on...Why even bother with him, he cheated, doesn't care about you or the kids, he just isn't worth your time or energy...Find a man that will love you and your babies....
2006-12-07 23:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn;t the father of your child(ren) then why do you still feel the need to talk to him. you are hurt-move on-you don't need his drama in your life
2006-12-07 23:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont answer his calls if he does, dont allow yourself to see him and dont call him. he doesnt deserve you, he moved out to live with another chick, thats not cool. so he just ups and leave you with the kids, thats not right. do not give him another chance!
2006-12-07 23:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg this happened to me, but with one child, dont waste your time telling him, because he caresless hes got new gf, new ****, he doesnt care. right now hes thinking with his penis, instead of his head right now, it will take him sometime to realize it. if not then i am sorry.
2006-12-07 23:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋