My b/f and I have been together 2 years (i am 36 he is 40) and he recently proposed. I accepted but I am having second thoughts. I was married before for 15 years and did not want anyone to know until I told my ex. I felt that because we have 2 children together nad numerous years, I should tell him rather than him hearing it second hand. Needless to say, it did not go well and he has been calling me every day since, sending me emails of our wedding song and so on. I don't want to hurt him over this because we are still very good friends and he knows that part of our lives is completely over, but obviously not as over for him as it is for me. Now with all the stress, I am starting to hav second thoughts. My b/f is very good to my children and my family adores him. I am content with him, but I find myself comparing him to my ex husband and pointing out what I consider to be faults. I know he is not my ex and that is not fair, but I just can't help it.
2006-12-07 06:26:30 · 4 answers · asked by Cali Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you must remember that for whatever reasons, you and your ex slit for a reason. your new guy sounds like a real gem. i think you would be a fool to neglect him for someone who was given the chance of loving you.you have to ask yourself that if the roles were reversed, would he have worried bout your feelings? it rarely is so. only you truly know what to do. we always tend to remember only the good about our ex's, stop that and remember why you split in the first place.
2006-12-07 06:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by taz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your beliefs but this is how I feel about this.
When you marry some-one before God you ask God to unite the both of you into what we call marriage; it is a vow, a promise to NEVER be broken... Once you leave that church or wherever you married God goes with the both of you ( since he bonded you together) this is in the bible and Im sorry I do not have the verse handy but it says " what our God brought together may no man bring apart " that is in a verse that speaks about the comming together of marriage, this meaning.. you get ready all nice and cute for your wedding the both of you come together before God and ask him for his blessing and to bond you, but then a few years pass and you no longer want to be with him so you go to court pay loads of money and expect a judge to seperate what God brought together. It cant happen man cannot undo what God did, it is impossible.UNLESS God agrees to the divorce example: there was adultry involved, that is the only permissable divorce.in Society you are divorced but in Gods eyes you are comminting adultry having relations with a man out of your "marriage".
If the man still loves you and wants to get back your attention... give him a chance work things out pray to God and ask him to restore what is broken, Anything is possible throught Christ our Lord. Buy the book " Our Love is Here to stay"
It will change your lives and completely restore your marriage, it will bring that spark right back into your marriage.
No one else have the same connection you and your husband had... GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE
2006-12-07 14:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry your boyfriend. You moved on for a reason. If your family values him and he is good to your children, that must tell you something. Sounds like your ex just wants control. It isn't fair at all to your boyfriend. If you really love your boyfriend, you would be polite and honestly tell your ex that part of your life is over and that he needs to move on. Good luck.
2006-12-07 14:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then ask your self if your ex is so special then why did you get divorced in the first place. it's normal to compare an ex with a current mate, just don't get caught up in old feelings.
2006-12-07 14:43:43 · answer #4 · answered by The Key Master 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋