should I put him out or keep putting up with his lazy ways
2006-12-07 06:05:26 · 14 answers · asked by yvette h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him it is time for him to move out and get his life started. Invite him for holiday meals and ask him to bring something for the occasion.
2006-12-07 06:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I graduated high school, my father told me, I will give you six months to relax and take it easy, then you will either join the milirtary, or get a good job, or go to college. Well I joined the military, and that was the best thing "for me", and to think that some of the guys I used to hang around with, are still doing the same old stuff and I now have a career. It might sound drastic, but some kids sometimes need a little kick in the pants to get them moving. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 06:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not doing him any justice by allowing him to just get by with this type existence. Sit down with him and explain some of the ground rules from henceforth. Make up your mind what you are going to say and then say it. Then follow through and enforce what you lay down. If he doesn't comply, he has to go and learn the hard way. It is tough to discipline kids, but it has to be done sooner or later. He needs to get a job and find a direction for his life (that is his responsibility - not yours). Good luck.
2006-12-07 06:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is that you need us to answer this for you.
What are your boundaries?
What do you expect from your son?
It's not unreasonable to say, "Son, if you are in school, full time, you can stay until you are 22 years old."
If you are not, the rent for you to live here is $X/month and this is the list of chores for the home, you have to pick Y chores and have them completed to my satisfaction.
Or, you are free to leave and get your own place.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do it kick them from the nest.
2006-12-07 06:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a list of demands, finishing school by a certain date, having a job by a certain date, chores he is expected to do, an amount of money he is expected to save. If he doesn't comply, boot him out. You have an opportunity to help him, but if he won't take the help, he is just going to have to learn to be an adult the hard way.
2006-12-07 06:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion kicking out your 19 year old son will not solve anything...It will probably make things worse,
I assume he recently graduated High School just talk to him on a serious note. Make sure he understands that he is growing up and he NEEDS to start putting his life together for the near future.
he is just freaked out about the fact that he is no longer in High School and that life is going to start changing soon, he probably wants to take advantage of these last moments before he needs to turn into "a man".
Also you should mention girls... example: "Older chicks do not like scrubs, girls like to feel like they are dating a man who can take care of them and take them out to nice places without asking his parents for money"
Maybe that will get him to get a job. But one thing is for sure kicking him out will only throw him into a life stuck in debt and no future called "rat race" a 19 year old loose living by himself is called chaos that will just ba another problem on your shoulders and possibly a ruined relationship, TEACH HIM RESPONSIBILITY AND EXPLAIN WHY.
2006-12-07 06:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him accountable to chores and other issues in the home. Force him to clean his room and other stuff like that and if he doesn't, do things that will make him feel like he's treated as a child. Forbid him access to the comforts, computer, television, stereo etc......
Eventually the light will go off and he'll start making decisons that will lead to him taking charge of his life.
2006-12-07 06:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by J.C. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has to get a job and pay you rent, in addition to helping out with household chores and that if he doesn´t like it he can move out.
2006-12-07 06:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by Double 709 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesnt shape up, Hes shipping out. Simple as that... and if he doesnt. STICK TO YOUR WORD. It might hurt him right now, but will be better for him in the long term.
2006-12-07 06:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him hints like leaving army brochures on his bed, college applications buy his plate. tell him stories of people you know who have a job and making good money. or tell him he has to either pay rent or you hire him as a maid to do things around the house
2006-12-07 06:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋