Weve been dating for exactly a month, and I've messed up three times: taking one single drag from a cig at a bar, after i promised her i wouldnt smoke, having sex and then leaving only 10 min after that, because i had to run errands that needed to be done, i didnt do it as a hit and run, i just had to go, and she got upset over this, and #3, just not acting or putting enough sympathy over a loss she recently had, whcih evolved into not talking to her because i wasnt sure what shew was feeling, so i dindt want to say the wrong thing, but overall, i just have had bad incidents with past relatinoships and i really care about her and just wanna make her happy, but im notorious for screwing things up, not on purpose, but just not realizing what im doing, not being aware of everything....and weve spoken and she hasnt come down to a conclusion, but i just wanna show her im for real and i sincerely care about her, i havent felt like this in a long time.....how do i become a better boyfriend?
2006-12-06 06:57:07 · 12 answers · asked by chrisj7682 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, I commend you for actually seeming like you want to TRY to make things better. Most guys seem to have the attitude of "o well.". My boyfriend is similar to you in the sense that he does things, not necessarily meaning to hurt me, and it just ends up that way. He didn't really understand what I meant until I started talking to him and explaining how I felt, and what could be done to make me feel better. I don't blame her feeling like it was a "hit and run" if you walk out the door 10 minutes after you have sex with her. If it was so important for you to get your errands done, maybe you should have asked her to go with you! As far as the smoking goes, don't make promises you can't keep...If you know you won't be able to quit, then talk to her about it...Maybe if she sees that you are at least TRYING then she will be willing to compromise. Lastly, relationships aren't just about one person, they are about TWO. Perhaps you should try not only thinking about yourself, but thinking about your GIRLfriend before you act. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words". You can tell her all day you really do care about her, but if you don't act like it, then why should she believe you? I hope this helped...Good luck!
2006-12-06 07:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to her and work on what she says she doesn't like. stay an hour after sex! smoking.. you shouldn't have promised her something you didn't intend to keep ever don't give promises just to pacify. If you do its considered an empty promise. If you know you can't keep the promise simply say i'll work on it and make it well aware you could possibly take one drag or have one completely. the loss i understand in your behalf honestly no one knows how to react when someone else has had a loss and we are extremely feeling selfish about this time. Women are very emotional and whether you like it or not we will find something to get mad about if we are looking for excuses. Sit down and talk to your girlfriend and tell her you aren't trying to flub up things on purpose you just are unsure what to do for certain.
2006-12-06 07:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by Franchesca 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in the dating pool for quite some time and I really have to be honest with you...if you have had past relationships that have provided valuable lessons that you did not learn you will continue to repeat the same mistakes until you learn those lessons whatever they are...it sounds to me like this relationship is going to be troublesome no matter what you do or don't do...I personally would consider staying single until you find out what it is that you want out of a relationship because it sounds to me like you don't really know what your looking for or perhaps you would change your MO...just a suggestion...I say forget this one!
2006-12-06 07:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you should do is wait truly. i got here upon messages on my spouse's telephone some months decrease back. I lost all my believe in him in a prompt. i did not no what to do before everything I only broke down And its probably what she is doing now. only provide her a even as on my own and shel quickly opt for to confer with you, or you should ask her to come back and confer with you. save in ideas you want to inform the fact!!!! you'll in elementary words damage her even more advantageous in case you tell white lies, Coz the fact continuously outs interior the properly! good luck. (all you human beings accessible sayin get rid! you ought to be ashamed she of route feels insecure, and desires slightly reassurance!!! once you've not some thing to cover then whats the issue including your spouse interpreting your texts!!)
2016-11-30 05:36:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you ned to learn some more about relationshis...learn to thisnk in a bigger box. these things will take time to overcome, and lots of practice.. your sensitvity level is off. you my have to give this one up.. come on dude leaving after sex? that was a stop and go. admit it. don't do it at all if u r not goin to do it right. go to border books or a similar one and read the 5 love languages.
2006-12-06 07:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by spotlite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The noted psychologist Fredrick (Fritz) Perls said, "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations, nor you mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we can get together, it's wonderful...If not it can't be helped."
Having said that, you sound to me like you're not ready for a committed relationship. Grow up and face reality. You might be surprised at the benefits (and responsibilities) that brings!
2006-12-06 07:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of things to do everyday that you know make her happy. I.e Complimets, hugs, kisses, spending time just talking. Stuff like that. Do it every day. And don't do it cause you feel you have to. Do it because you want to.
2006-12-06 07:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by steelhead3686 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my experience if she's losing interest it's best be act as dominant as possible, and get her to chase you again. Be a little bit of a prick, don't act like a pussy, and she'll be right back where you want her.
2006-12-06 07:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by Andy NIU 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't live up to her expectations now you might not ever be able to,,:-(=
2006-12-06 07:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think strike 3 with her is just like in baseball...
you're out..........( if she's smart ) that is...
2006-12-06 07:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋