When my husband and I were first dating I moved in with him and his mother and he used to treat me like sh%t. I had most of my stuff at his place and when ever he would feel like it he would just tell me to leave. He broke alot of my stuff because of his anger. He used to treat me so bad that twice he called the cops on me but still I didn't leave. When I did leave he went back looking for me we ended up getting back together and things were still the same. I wouldn't leave because I loved him and because he was my first. At his house I used to do everything from cleaning, washing dishes, laundry etc... Since I was staying their I felt that I needed to just keep my mouth shut and clean. Now that we got married my husband has change his way towards me alot and I am the one that is pushing him away. I get mad very easily and I know that I wasn't like that. I have so much anger inside of me because of how he used to treat me. I need to change. I need some advice and some good one please.
2006-12-06 05:17:21 · 16 answers · asked by mysteryousmtz 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is treating you better now?
Well honey,if he is treating you better and things are going well between the two of you then why are you not accepting him and moving on with your lives together instead of holding on to a grudge that had happened years before? You didn't like it when he was that way towards you, so why are you going to begin being that way towards him?
I think that if he is treating you better and has finally become the husband that you had always wanted then you should do the same and put your past experiences behind you and the two of you should live your lives to the fullest. Holding grudges never solves anything. Ease up and just be your self again. It will not only make every-one around you feel better, it will also make you feel better as well.
Good Luck
&
God Bless You Both!
I Hope that the two of you
Have A Very Merry Christmas
& A Happy New Year!
2006-12-06 06:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like you really upset with the way he used to treat you. Look if I was you, I would have never gotten married to that creep. I mean... if he could have been that mean to you? Look honey! love is something that feels good. He was just trying to make you hurt like him... and now you are almost doing the same thing. The past is in the past and thats how you have got to start thinking. Because if you dont come around soon.. then he is going to go right back to the old you and him. He is going to have to get some TLC in return. We are not promised tomorrow... You should live each day as your last. Because you never know when it will be you last... What if today was your last day? Did you let your hubby know you love him? Would he know without a shadow of a doubt you truley loved him? Dont waste what little time we all have on earth being stuborn and ill... or not fully giving yourself to him. Make the best of your days.... while you can...
2006-12-06 05:35:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have alot of mixed feelings inside. Anger, love and the big question is WHY and How could he be one way then totally change. Well it has happened you just have to figure what you want to do with that. Give in and enjoy the love or leave because being miserable is just such a waste of life.
2006-12-06 05:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by crazzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not surprizing that you have the anger; what does beg the question "why" is why marry someone who treats you like dirt?? So what if he was your first? Big deal; everyone has the "first". Fall in love with yourself, first of all; have respect for yourself. Then you will fall in love with people who respect you, not some controlling loser.
Perhaps you are maturing, and developing better self-esteem - and this is why you now feel (rightly) resentful towards your husband. Build on it, and move on to better and bigger things - including men who are not losers. You deserve much better.
2006-12-06 05:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you mad about the past? If he changed for the better, and is not like that now, what is your problem? I suggest giving the idea of forgiveness some thought. Neither you or he can change the past. Accept what was, be grateful for what now is and get on with your life. The past is like a garbage can. If you go poking you head into it you are bound to find something you don't like.
2006-12-06 05:24:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that some time with a therapist to resolve some of you anger issues, if you dont deal with them in a healthy way they could lead to other damaging behaviours later on. Why waste your life being angry and hurt! You need to talk to someone who you can trust and will listen and give you could mental advice, good luck.
2006-12-06 05:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-03 11:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my personal opinion, dear, you took all that stuff off of him for so long and all, and now your subconscious mind is doing the "payback" by making you act this way......that's all I can offer, maybe if you two still love one another, seek a marriage counselor.....good luck to both of you
2006-12-06 05:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing I can suggest is maybe some counceling.....either with a marriage councelor or maybe a religious figure in your church. It sounds like you didn't adjust to the "new" hubby well, so maybe you just need to vent to someone and talk about it...GL;)
2006-12-06 05:22:13 · answer #9 · answered by hotmama1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you at least realize that you are causing problems. You probably figure as long as you are pushing him away he will work to please you, but that if you work to please him he will go back to being a jerk to you. To some extent you are probably right. The tow of you should talk to a third party and see if you cannot work through these things.
2006-12-06 05:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋