your opinion???

Question

my husband is a resturant manager, and our marriage rocky. He hired a female whom he used to work with at a diff. resturant 6 mnths
ago. He didn't tell me about it, I had to notice for myself. Do you think he should have told me?

Answer 1

Uh... Depends. If you are the jaelous kind, then I would have kept my mouth shut. If you are the open minden, we can joke about everything kind then I would have told you. The real question is: how would you have reacted if he told you? Would you have been ok with it or would you throw a fuzz and acusse him of infidelity? If you would have been ok with it and he didnt tell you then something is up. But PLEASE look into yourself and answer honestly: are you a jaelous person?

Answer 2

I noticed this same question posted 11 hours ago? So, you must feel very anxious about this...maybe to an unrealistic point of paranoia. I've managed restaurants all my life. I've hired and rehired a lot of people. While I share the events of the day, with my significant other, it doesn't come to mind to provide a list of all the people I hire or fire unless there is a point of interest. Therefore, based on the limited information provided, I wouldn't say that your husband had hidden anything from you, nor should he have told you. As a matter of you having to notice for yourself...another clue that you are freakin' paranoid. I mean, how would you even know about this...do you go spy on him? If I were him, I wouldn't stand for having you stop by distracting me from an insane job. There's no time for that crap.

The bottom line is you either relax and have some level of trust, or you don't and you will always just be a jealous neurotic. Stop worrying about things you can't control. Maybe a little weed will help take the edge off.

Answer 3

Depends. You didn't give a whole lot to go on here. Business and pleasure should never be mixed, but that doesn't say it isn't. She could be an asset to the business or a fringe benefit. Does he tell you every thing about his business from who applies for jobs and who he hires to how much money he brings in to what is paid out? If your involved with the day to day running of his restaurant then yes he should have mentioned his employee. If the female employee was just a co-worker and nothing more then I see no reason to believe he was hiding anything from you. Being on the rocky side of a marriage we tend to see more in what the spouse does or doesn't do and we let our imaginations take over our common sense, ride this out, ask direct questions instead of assuming the worse.

Answer 4

Does he inform you of every employee he hires? What makes this woman so special? That they previously worked together means absolutely nothing. It could very well be that from working with her, he knew that she was very competent and good at her job. If he has to tell every little thing that goes on at work to you, I can see why the marriage is rocky!! I was a production superintendent at a manufacturer with 46 people under me and half were women. The turn over was tremendous and I was always hiring someone. My wife never asked and I never discussed it. I also never cheated. If you have no trust.......you have no marriage!!!!!

Answer 5

I agree with the answer WHY?

The impression you give from the choice is that it was just a business decision. And its good busines practice to rehire people who have proven themselves to be good workers female or male. The company I am currently working out is about 90% staffed with people that have worked before with each other at one time or another.

The only thing I can think of that might make me reconcider this stance is:

- You two regularly make all the hiring decisions together and this one was behind your back

-They have some sort of romantic history

-You are an active part of the business and you and her have had previous history which makes it a bad idea you work together.

If it really bothers you, you should talk to him about it. However I would caution you NOT to jump to conclusions. A lot of the time our brains are better at projecting the worst about a situation .. long before we think of the postive. My guess from what you said is that its not that note worthy and you should take a deep breath and remind yourself he is with you and work on that.

Answer 6

To determine whether his behavior is suspicious or not, we'd really need more background. For example, if your husband has hired other people (male OR female) that he's worked with and didn't tell you about them either, then there's nothing unusual about not telling you about her. But if your husband has always told you about everybody else he's hired EXCEPT this gal... then you may have something to inquire into.

The key to people's behavior is NOT whether they have known people before -- especially in the restaurant business, where there's a high degree of turnover and where women make up such a large part of the workforce. The key is whether he's treating THIS woman any different, as far as mentioning her to you, than he treats any OTHER employee.

That's the line of reasoning you need to follow to determine whether or not he should have told you.

Answer 7

If the marriage is rocky I can see why he didn't tell you. More than likely there is something going on. If I was in his spot I porbably would have told you just to cover my tracks. I suggest you either cut him loose or start doing something to get the marriage off the rocks! Sexual things usually work. Dressing up, spending a weekend once a month somewhere that you picked out, attentiveness, more sex.....you know the drill!

Answer 8

Depends. Does he usually tell you about things like that? He may have a good reason not to mention it to you.
(1) Could be, he thought it would strike a nerve with you and tried to avoid an argument. So, if your not very understanding, then that is why he may not of mentioned it. (you may be very understanding, I don't know?)
(2) He could of not thought anything about it, and simply didn't think about it. Just doing his job and nothing more.
(3) Your a jealous.

I don't think he done anything wrong if he isn't hiding something. He wasn't hiding anything, because he knew you would find out she is working there. You just may be over-reacting because she is obviously good looking or you wouldn't be concerned.
Just let it go, before you make everyone miserable over nothing.

Answer 9

well maybe there was nothing to tell. But because im not sure, you should hire an investigator. Pull another worker and ask them to spy for you. Or Snoop and find out what her phone number is and check the phone bill. Put a small recorder in his car, his office, and maybe one of those small teeny tiny hidden camera's somewhere in the restaurant.

Answer 10

That would depend--are you a major participant (co-owner) in this restaurant with him and SHOULD be told about the going's-ons concerning it? If not, he might not have told you, since some people leave their work at work...be careful about assumptions. If your marriage is already rocky, your paranoia could potentially make it worse. Don't make any accusation without irreputable proof...