everyone just says the same thing . . . it's not that easy?

Question

ok i've posted on here before about this, so i hope your not sick of me, please can someone help me out?

i have a few problems, and have alot on my plate at the minute - the most serious one i'd say is me cutting myself...i've told a few people who are/were close to me, but they all say the same thing - DON'T!! But they don't understand that it's not as easy as that. When i posted about iut on here the last time i got suggestions of couseling (and well some DON'T!!s again) but i am too scared to go talk to a cousiler incase my family get involved. I don't want to hurt anyone more, i just want to be better...am so close to getting caught about the cuts, and i can't keep blaming it on the animals of the house (my poor dog) ''oh i was playing with the dog...he jumped on me and ... er he needs his claws clipped...'' is not gonna hold up much longer.

this is getting way too long, poor u

i just need a bit of advice from any counsilers out there? or anyone with experiance?
thanks.

fanks everyone for answering so quickly, you are all so kind...and it's the blood that gives me the release...

wow you guys are great :) fank you so much, this is deff helping xx

aw diane thats so nice fank you xx

fanks sexylady, it's nice to know that there's hope as you got through it...so maybe i can :)

thatnks for such a detailed respose peppery

thanks for the web adress bel :)

fank you panda ... it wouild be great to talk to someone who's been there :)

fank u banksia, thats a great idea...yer i've started a journal

trizzy that is so lovely, ure a lovely person, fank u so so much :)

aw fanks notsoanonymous, thats is sucha s great response thank u it has helped, and u can now receive i big thank u hug from bonney old scotland :P

soli thanks so mucyh for being so understanding and writing sucj a long response, it is so very kind of u xx

thats so true devO fanks :)

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT, I JUST CAN'T SELECT A BEST ANSWER OUT OF ALL YOU LOVELY LOT :)

Answer 1

Hi hun, I am not a counsellor, but I understand about the cutting thing. I haven't been a self harmer but have been friends with a girl who was.
Is it the pain you get a release from or actually seeing your blood that gives you the release?

Thanks for getting back to me on that. If it was the pain (like my friend), I would have suggested gripping ice cubes until your hands hurt. That would give you the release of pain but with less permanent effects of scarring.

There must be some kind of substitue you can do instead that gives you the same release but without permanently scarring or injuring yourself.

Have a look on the website below. I would definitely advise seeing someone about it. Your family won't get dragged into it because it will be confidential. I know it is hard to stop because it gets addictive, but you have already realised you have a problem and that is half the battle hun. Just take the last few steps so you can put it all behind you.

www.selfharm.org.uk

Good luck! X

Answer 2

I'm a crisis therapist at a city hospital and have done extensive crisis resolution with teens and young people as well. There are a lot of things invovled in a situation like this, and the best way to help yourself and your family IS to go see a counselor... sadly, not all counselors are that great and it may take some trying. IF you are over 13, despite what a mental health clinic may tell you, you have the right to privacy and decision making skills in your therapy. And while a parent can request documentation, the only time a therapist can tell anything to your family is if you are in danger of hurting others, being abused, or hurting yourself (which means a therapist can involve your family if you are currently cutting).

The easy answer is indeed DONT. But there are a lot of reasons people cut, attention, history of abuse, depression etc. A psychiatrist can evaluate you and decide if an anti-depressant is something you could benefit from, however, what I have often found is that working with a good Cognitive Behavioral Therapist not only on stopping the cutting, but also on your history and self-esteem issues. My guess is your family probably already suspects something, and if they're worth their salt will want to see you get better.

Lastly, cutting while may not seem serious, and you may think you're being very careful, can be VERY DANGEROUS! There are a number of things that can go wrong if you're frequently cutting. At the very least PLEASE call a crisis hotline, either a national one or your local hospital!!!!

Answer 3

I'm a recovering cutter, so I have an idea of where you're coming from. I too was sick of all the "don't!'s" but realized it was in my best interest to stop this habit.

First of all, I would suggest taking a careful inventory of your feelings whenever you have the urge to cut. Are you feeling unreal? Unable to deal with stress? Something else? I realized that I got the urge whenever I felt powerless in a situation.

Secondly, once you figure out why you do it, you can come up with some alternatives. Do you crave the intense sensation of the cut? Try snapping your wrist with a rubber band. Do you feel stressed out and confused? Work on a list of possible solutions.

Another technique I've found helpful is by temporarily distracting myself. Listen to your favorite album, call up a friend or go for a jog. Whatever, just get your mind off of your urge and whatever's causing it until you are able to calmly deal with it in a healthy way. The key words here are "deal with it in a healthy way." Cutting won't deal with the problem or make it go away, it'll only mask it for awhile.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if something major just happened in your life, or you had a bad childhood, etc. it may help to get some counselling for those issues. If you don't want to go to the doctor, maybe you could join an online support community or study some self-help books.

Best of luck! :)

Answer 4

Oh sweetie, I really feel for you. I have never self harmed but I have had personal experiences with depression and sometimes the thought of asking for/getting help is more frightening than how you're feeling. Confronting the problem and admitting it to others makes it real and therefore something you then have to deal with.
I have done a quick search and this website seems quite helpful http://www.selfharm.org.uk/default.aspa
Really you do need to talk to someone and as other people here have mentioned doctors can be confidential if you don't want your family involved.
Good luck and I really hope you get the help and support you need - take care xx

Answer 5

I have actually got a bit of experience of this as my partner has suffered from 'self-harm,' and yes i have been guilty of saying don't in the past. Also i have experienced guilt and anger at her doing it. Advice is very difficult, but here goes, it can and does get better, my partner does not do it half as much as she used to. So whilst she has the very occasional slip, maybe once a year, she is getting much, much better. The cutting yourself is a symptom it is not the cause, I should think within doing it, there is feelings of self-loathing and fears about something. You need to tackle this not the actually doing it, as the self harm is a product of these feelings not the cause. If you can go down the counselling route then great, but its quite difficult as NHS resources are limited and there will be waiting lists, but a trip to the GP could point you in the right direction. Talk, Talk and Talk, whether it be to strangers at Samaritans or friends/family, problems, fears become less of a burden if you can express yourself.

Answer 6

Right then, first of all, i do understand the need to self harm. Nope, i have not done it, but i looked after a friend with schizophrenia for a while, who did exactly the same. Also, i would like to add that counsellors give confidentiality, unless you are suicidle and want to harm others, therefore, information must be, by law, passed on. Now as for self harm....some do it for attention. I am not saying that is why you are doing it, but the attention thing can mean different things. It's not just that you may want to be center of attention, but it can be that you need someone to see that you have problems, and feel that this is the only way you can let people know. Maybe i am wrong, but maybe i'm not. Sometimes it is done because one feels very angry at themselves and feel the need for self punishment. Our state of minds alter when this is happening, and it is sometimes uncontrollable, so i understand when you say it's not that easy just not to do it. Please try and get to the route of your anger issues hun. Please go and see a counsellor, they will be confidential over this matter, and can only involve your family with your say, unless as afore mentioned, there is a threat of suicide of to harm others. Hope this has helped, but please, see a counsellor.
Blessings
Soli

Answer 7

I used to be a cutter/self harmer. I went through counseling (and btw i don't think your family has to know about counseling if you don't want them too). What finally helped me was to realize the reason I did it. I did it because of all the pain from what others had put me through. While I didn't necessarily 'forgive' these people I also realized that what I was doing to myself was in no way affecting them (I, at some point believed it would affect them). Somehow, I was able to realize I was only hurting myself and not them and was able to stop. Its not an easy thing to stop I know.... I also had a lot of support from a couple of people close to me. I realize it feels 'good' in a way, like you're taking the pain away from the inside. Every once in a while now, I feel like doing it and I try to distract myself with anything. Sometimes I'll even scream. But anyways... I'm rambling.... Good luck, it will be tough but it will be worth it to get the help you need.

Answer 8

You are admitting you have a problem which is the first step to getting help and recovery, well done! Getting help or counselling is going to be a big step which does take courage hopefully you will be able to take that step soon.

As an interim meashure I have heard that gripping ice can give the same sense of release or feeling you get when cutting youself and doesn't harm you, please try this instead.

I'm not a counsellor and am not qualified to help, you do need professional help and the love and support of your family and friends too. You know that you have a problem here and that you need to stop (and why!).

Good luck!

Answer 9

You really do need to see your GP. He/she will help you and you don't have to involve your family if you don't want to. Try to find a friend or a member of your family (Aunt perhaps?) who you can talk to and who will listen and advise when you have bad feelings.
Maybe being caught out would be the best thing for you, at least then the physical problem is out in the open. Just remember that there are people who love you and would be horrified at what you're going through. Bite the bullet and speak to a professional. Go on, you've told us, you can tell them. Good luck honey. Tell you what, mail me when you're feeling bad.

Answer 10

Self harming is often a way to deal with frustration as it offers release through endorphines (natural pain killers released in the brain). You can get endorphine rushes from other methods which may be less damaging. You could take up an energetic exercise such as boxing, or do as I do, and ride rollercoasters. Once you find the right activity for you, you will feel less need to cut. Good luck