Being touched?

Question

I have this weird thing about being touched. Not like I have a fear but I absolutely hate it and it makes me completely uncomfortable- kind of like an anxiety feeling. I have had this ever for my whole life. Especially when guys do it. I don't like when they hold my hand or touch my lower back or any of that. I haven't really had any trauma that I remember to cause me to be this way. My mom and dad weren't the most affectionate with me but both my brothers have no problem with being touchy feely. I feel bad because I can't hide my facial expressions of disgust or being uncomfortable when someone touches me. One time a friend of mine went to hug me and grabbed my lower back and I started to scream bloody murder, and I do not know why. I feel bad that I am this way and don't want to make people feel like they disgust me. Why do I do this? And how can I get over this?

Answer 1

Wow. I'm sorry that this has become such a problem for you.

It's hard to say what causes this without knowing you or seeing this situation happen.

It could be something minor - like maybe you are very attractive and you don't want people to easily get the wrong ideas about you.

Or it could be something major - like a childhood trauma.

The thing is - it doesn't sound sexual in nature so I wouldn't leap right to the molestation thing.

I once read an article that claimed that if a child bites his mothers nipple so hard that she screams
it may frighten the child while feeding and later on that child could develop an eating disorder as an adult and not know why... weird, huh?

It is also really common for people who were raised by "distant" parents to not be very affectionate.

In big latin or spanish families, there is often alot of touching so the kids grow up to be very physically affectionate toward all their friends....

alot of white nuclear families can be exactly the opposite.... they want their space and have that 2-foot rule.

So, if it is serious, you may want to talk to a counselor but you can try to work through it on your own first and see if you can change yourself.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

I would say that you definitely need to talk to a certified professional that you feel comfortable with about this. Human beings are naturally gregarious and affectionate with one another. Having a reaction like the one you described to someone you consider a friend giving you a hug is not only not normal it is a sign of something very seriously wrong. As far as your parents not being very affectionate, their are certain psychological conditions that can result from receiving no physical contact and reassure from birth but you have not described any violence, aggressiveness or sociopathic behavior that would be consistent with being "raised on the wire monkey". So Where you might want to start with you search for the answer to why you do this is, "when was the first time you remember being uncomfortable with someone touching you?"
"Who was touching you,and where?" "What else do you remember about what happened then?"

Answer 3

I'm not trying to dig too deep into this but this is a possibility... It's very possible you might have a 'thing' with being touched cause of an unpleasant experience while young. It's quite common when young children are molested they have a tendency to completely block out the whole experience and never remember it until deep psychotherapy unblocks that memory. Its possible that happened, anythings really possible. I would suggest possible therapy, but if that's out of the question... make a conscious effort to try and change the way you feel about it. Know you're doing it when you're being touched and remind yourself there is no harm being done to you.

Answer 4

I'm just like you! I have no problem with my best friend hugging me or a bf sometimes but anyone else its hands off! it freaks me out and ppl comment on it all the time. like you i can't hide my feelings and it does scare ppl but theres really nothing i can do. i like my own space. it also crosses over into the way i act...like some things i just cannot talk about with other ppl..some words i can't even say! it's a bit scary and i haven't relly met anyone else who does this but i'm just living with it for now...i think i should get some counselling soon tho and u might benefit from it too. good luck xoxox

Answer 5

Perhaps the Homeopathic Remedy ARNICA MONTANA will cure your abhorrence of being touched without any side effects or complications, Take it once daily in 200 potency. To read more about this remedy please click this link :- http://homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/arn.htm
Take Care and God Bless you

Answer 6

I'd say ask a Women's Center for referrals to a Psychiatrist that is good regarding working with women's issues. This doctor should be able to help you have a better quality of life and help you to determine if medication will help you or therapy would be better for you or both. Remember that if you are uncomfortable with any doctor or therapist you can see another instead.

Answer 7

I don't know for sure - but I definitely think it is a phobia of some type.
I would do some kind of research through medical books on phobias.
If that is what it is, then you might want to consult some kind of counseling to work you through it.

Answer 8

well, nothing wrong with u......but u do have to go easy on someone if they happen to touch ya.......don't yell hey leave me alone, or don't do that! just try to ignore it, i mean if they keep touching u for a period of time, u could say please stop touching me, i'm not feeling well etc........but if someone touches u out of kindness, u have to try to relax, don't say abruptly hey dont do that.........

Answer 9

i would agree, it sounds like an inner issue with your comfort zone. i would look into to it on the net, yahoo health might be able to help there.

Answer 10

Explain to yr friends what goes on so they understand. Take it easy. Good Luck.