I have left my wife and kids to move into a house with a girlfriend that I have been cheating with for a year now. I realize it is a mistake to end my family of 16 years and I also am aware that I have really hurt my family. Over this past year I convienced myself that everything my wife did or said was poison and I didn't like her ways but I'm not sure if it is really true or not but maybe I had to brainwash myself so I wouldn't feel guilty, I don't know. I do know that I do not want the responsibility of another family (girlfriend has 3 kids) and I do miss my own but have made myself pretty scarse and when I do see my wife it usually is an arguement. She doesn't understand how I can do this to us and she wants answers, I'm not comfortable talking so I just avoid her. I'm not sure which may to go here, any advice.
2006-12-05 13:45:35 · 10 answers · asked by John D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best advice I can give you from my own experience similiar situation here is talk to your wife be open and most importantly honest even about the affair. People do make mistakes but the most important thing is your family. It is hurting them more by you staying away and avoiding talking or arguing. You probably did brain wash your self so that you didn't have to fell guilty ultimately it is your decision and you as well as everyone in your family have to live with the decision just make sure it is the right for everyones sake. My husband did the same thing to me and the one thing I wished he would have done was talk to me but instead he shut me out of his life for another woman. I to have 3 kids and we were all very devestated by my husbands actions and each day is a struggle. I hope the decision you make is the right one.
2006-12-05 14:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by loqueen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok..now let me tell you the truth honey. You need to grow up and be a man.
The only reason you're feeling the way you're feeling right now is b/c you now realize the grass wasn't greener on the other side after all. You were married, there never should have been a girlfriend. If you weren't happy you should have left and became single and THEN started dating.
Look at all the hurt you have caused b/c you don't wanna face whatever issues you have on the inside. Your irresponsible behavior has affected your wife, your children and now another woman and HER children. When will the madness cease?
I advise you to end the relationship with the girlfriend and separate from your wife to give yourself time to deal with what's going on inside and to heal w/e it is that has caused you to be this way in the first place. That is, if your wife still wants the marriage.
You might then want to consider marriage counseling.
Stop thinking of just yourself. Your actions affect others around you who love you. Have some character and do the right thing. You will feel better about yourself if you do.
2006-12-05 14:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, shame on you for breaking your wedding vows. It sounds like you have major regret about the whole thing. I don't know if it is too late for you or not; but if you realize now that what you had with your wife and kids was great and that you didn't appreciate them and now you do; then you must try to beg for forgiveness and make things right again with your family. Not only apologize to her and the kids but to other also like your wife's parents. Cheating is so wrong and it is very hard to ever forget that when someone you love and you are committed to does that. Time is ticking and this is the Christmas season; so do whatever it takes to be a family again and if she finds it in her heart to forgive you; then you need to thank your lucky stars and live the rest of your life appreciating her and your children and be the best husband you can be. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-05 16:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the grass was greener on the other side of the fence or not. You really should give yourself some time alone and try to fix things with your ex-wife. if that is what she wants. You really need to get comfortable and swallow your pride and be honest with her. You put them through alot Your right you probably did brainwash yourself out of guilt. Now it is time to stand up and be a man and own your mistake. You should be ashamed of making yourself scarse to your own children. You separated from your wife not your kids. If she does give you a second change you better stay on your side of the fence for the rest of your life.
2006-12-05 13:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already burned your bridges with your wife. If you don't want the responsibility of a new family, then break up with your girlfriend.
It really sounds like you need some time to be alone without being in a relationship.
2006-12-05 13:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea u made a big mistake...bet u feel like an ***...but here is what i would do to try to work things out sooo maybe u can see ur kids...try calling her or maybe send her a letter...tell her u r an asshole that u made a big mistake..of course she's going to be mad and upset..she didnt deserve this now she's trying to protect her kid's from u...meet her at a public place where she will feel comfortable at like a park where ur kids can play and u 2 can talk it out...good luck and hope u learned ur lesson
2006-12-05 13:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
humble yourself. Go talk to your wife and admit that you made a mistake. Ask her to forgive you and attend counseling with you. You need to put your family back together.
2006-12-05 14:41:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though the wife would have a real hard time of ever trusting you again...i would guess you need to go back home to her and your children. if she does take you back , i hope you have learned from this. you have a long way ahead of you in eighter choice you make now. living with the quilt or living with her dis-trust in you always.
2006-12-05 14:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pal i wouldnt want to be in your shoes for nothing . no offence meant but move and start over this time think of what you do before you do it ok if you want your wife back and she lets you come back you need to stop fooling around and if yo must stop getting caught you make us other men look bad like women who do this to . my opion?
2006-12-05 13:52:50 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a loser, I hope the court is making you $pay$ child support!
Shame on you. If your lucky someday your kids may forgive you!!
2006-12-05 14:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋