I have been with my boyfriend for a month and it has been very nice. But I've just found out that he's hasn't gotten over this girl he was in love with, and I am not sure if I should continue seeing him or if I should leave. It was unrequited love for him with that other girl and and she didn't return his feelings so he had to give up. Now he never sees her anymore and enjoys being with me. But when I asked him "If you were still friends with her, would you choose her over me?" his answer was "yes." When I got upset about that answer, he told me that it was a ridiculous question for me to ask because he says that he would never see her and that would never happen. He says that there was no need for me to get angry because she doesn't exist anymore. He also says that I should strive more to get him to like me as much as he liked her...I really like him but I don't think that you can make someone fall in love with you. Should I just give up and leave or trust him and go for it?
2006-12-03 09:12:05 · 9 answers · asked by Candy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way, I am in my late 20s...
2006-12-03 09:19:36 · update #1
That depends on which one of you is obsessed with her. Him or you? Lots of people have someone in their past that they still fantasize about, but life goes on. If he brings her up quite a lot, then he's obviously not over her and can't give you the love and attention that you deserve. No woman should have to live in the shadow of another woman.
Telling you that he'd choose her over you was cruel, but what were the circumstances? Who brought her up? And why?
What I mean, is did he start talking to you about her and then you asked this question, or did you bring her up and ask the question?
If you started it, it could be that his response was just a frustrated one, and meant to shut you up, and maybe you should just let it go.
On the other hand, telling you that you should try harder to make him like you is a bad sign.
You seem like a smart girl. Take it slow and see what happens. If he's really not over her, you'll know soon enough.
Like you said, you can't make someone love you. If he doesn't, you'll see that. Then, move on. But, spending time with you may just wipe her right out of his head! It's only been a month, so it's really too soon to tell which way it will go, but you'll figure it out.
Good Luck!
Polly
2006-12-03 09:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i replaced into in the comparable concern. Mine lasted 8 years. I had to cut up from. I say no mild on the top of our tunnel. you will in no way ignore approximately him. And in some way you purely could practice a chilly coronary heart. we are pals, we communicate. however the longing continues to be there as a results of fact I stop relationship, a minimum of for now. i choose a sparkling slate if I ever meet yet another guy i could evaluate a relationship with. No rebounds. i might supply the worldwide to be with him, yet regrettably, it;s a ineffective end and that i understand that. you will get on along with your existence basically like I do. enable bypass and run and initiate basically taking area in your self. Time will heal at last. You pronounced you lost "it" with him. properly, it;s slightly late to be troubled approximately it now. Like at the instant, who cares besides. basically you, and that;s a competent element which you care. interestingly, he does not care. purely assembly as quickly as a week, i do no longer understand the form you hung there as long as you have without telling him to hit the line if he did no longer choose to make certain you and do different issues with you. i might tell him to hit the line and get on along with your existence. i'm useful he's accessible something of the week doing some thing.
2016-10-17 16:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people feel what they do
put the mattresses down and then jump I think
If we have people in our minds that we love, when we try to get with somebody else its polite to stay silent on the subject unless you are asked. If ya try to make something deep its best to talk about past whoevers and deal with it together to create real trust and to learn about each other. When you are old and just want to get with somebody, liking past people better becomes irrelevant I think.
2006-12-03 09:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U dont ask guys questions like that. U cant make someone love u just be urself, and go with the flow.
2006-12-03 09:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think you have answered your own question by saying u cant make someone fall in love with you..can u settle for being 2nd best?i know i couldnt.i think u will always feel 2nd best if you stay with him.and for him to be so straightforward and honest about the way he feels for her is scary.the fact he cannot hide the way he feels for her, it must be a real big infatuation
2006-12-03 09:19:57 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the right guy for you will only want to be with you1 brake up somewhere else there is a better guy for you! It will never work your wasting time with him when you could be meeting the guy of your dreams
2006-12-03 09:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by Colee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is confused and you are just a rebound. Be careful don't put all your eggs in his basket.
2006-12-03 09:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by peaches m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any guy who choses another girl over you (unless of course its his sister or mother) is totally not worth it. a real boyf would value you over everyone else- u should be his number one.
2006-12-03 09:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by justsomeothergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youlike him, give him time
2006-12-03 09:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋