Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

I look forward to your intelligent and well-thought-out answers.

Answer 1

Integrity, honesty, faithfulness, are very important qualities in a man. I wish more had them.I am raising my son's to be a real man when they grow up and not some thug wanna be. not all woman feel this way. The ones that do, probably do not know any better, and are young. Real woman know a good man and are all trying to find one, and when they do, they know to hang on. Keep being who you are and you will find a real woman.

Answer 2

Personally, I don't think that most women want a "bad boy" for the sake of them being "bad" or that they want him cause they have low self esteem.
I think a lot of it is that a "bad boy" is a project or like you said - "a challenge". The woman thinks (maybe without realizing it), I can turn him into the romantic and thoughtful guy. Girls just like thinking they're doing something good for someone. Sometimes girls just feel like it's more "special" when a bad boy does something nice (because it's so rare and she can think "I bet he's only done this for me") as opposed to someone who always does nice things (if that make sense). Stupid, I know, but true.
But in the end, most women realize that the "bad boy" will never change and start looking for your type. The #1 thing women look for in long term relationships/marriage is stability - someone that won't cheat, that does have a job and does well init, and will be around.
But you also have to be fun. I once had a boyfriend who was a good guy, but I felt like everything had to be so perfect and like the movies with all mush and romance. That was nice for awhile, but I just wanted "fun" too - laughing and hanging out together without being super romantic. Best friends first, romance second in any relationship, I think..
Some girl will appreciate you, I promise. Sometimes women just have to get burned and scarred to get the reality check that they need. Don't give up!

Answer 3

The two examples you gave are two extremes. Nobody wants the real "bad boy". An image is one thing, but you can have the image, AND have integrity. As a matter of fact, I think, it's sexy for someone with the bad boy image to be honest, polite, well spoken, and definitely faithful. Everyone's a little lazy. Bullying is just mean. Dishonesty is stupid because someone always gets hurt.
Yes, those "bad-boy" women DO have low self-esteem. They think it's exciting, but it doesn't last. Trust me, I married one of those guys. Unfortunately, you don't know it until you have a house and a couple of kids. We're still together because it would hurt my kids more than him. You're probably looking for a woman who's been through it already, judging from the crowd your polling.
If YOU are the "boring" or "too nice" guy, I would suggest shaking up your style a little...not necessarily your personality. Do not ever give up your integrity. Years from now, it'll be all you have, right?

Answer 4

I will divide this question into two parts.
There are some women that like the bad boy reputation because they are bad girls.
they like the fighting and all that goes with a messed up relationship.
The women have low self esteem.
The second part is..
The women who do want the confident, romantic,honest men , want that in a long term relationship so they know they are going to be loved and respected by those men.
not cheated on and so forth.
There are men who are real bad boys but are real good men.

Answer 5

Well let me tell you about what happened to me.
I had THE biggest crush on this guy at the beginning of the year.Hes cute but the biggest jerk i have ever seen.All his cutness blocked that jerk stuff out and I kept on liking him.When I herd he was going out with someone else I noticed how selfish and jerky he was and still is today.Mabey those girls just are to desperate to find a man with some personality not just looks and a rep.Yes I do want someone thats nice, a good leader, strong metally and phisically.Thats what matters to me!

Answer 6

Unfortunately sometimes women can be shallow. But let me ask you something, are you going after women of integrity or just "good lookers". As frustrated as you may be at being overlooked for the "bad boy" there might be a woman of good character out there who you have overlooked because she's not the prettiest rose on the vine.

Answer 7

You're ignorant.

There are two types of women....normal and psychotic losers. Normal women outnumber psychotic losers by 10 to 1. This should tell you something important about your strategy for meeting women. You are self selecting for something very negative (more likely you are just treating some ****** up crap in your head as reality instead of relying on experience). Whichever it is, you need to cut it the hell out if you want any chance at a happy life.

Answer 8

i'm a type of uncommon women people then. i desire a guy who has integrity, cares, loves, and has admire for others. he shouldn't stay around long if i discover out he's lazy. i don't choose somebody who i prefer to alter. i choose somebody who does not might desire to alter. a guy who's certainly a guy and not a take a seat-at-abode, drink beer, waste money, disrespectful, cussing fool. A temper, cussing, battling (for undesirable motives), cheating (in any style or trend), and intensely almost any undesirable habit might get a guy knocked from my record. That guy defined on your 2d paragraph "on the different hand, a guy who's optimistic, mentally and bodily healthful, an area chief, smart, romantic, truthful, and committed to his spouse and young ones, is seen as "boring" and "too advantageous". " is exactly what i'm finding for. they're uncommon the place I stay and that i watch for assembly a guy like that.

Answer 9

personally i think the guy has to start out and being " the basd boy" that way the lady gets both. after i say about a year of a steady relationship we woman are more worried about havong the steady down to earth guy and if the woman is really serious about a relationship they will not complain about the way you have changed. me i like bad for awhile then move in and settle down with the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. hope this helped. keep trying. if you have to put on a front leave the five o clock shadow laugh with her playfully and try to get in her pants as early as possible that gets the bad boy look which most of us like

Answer 10

Well, I for one would think the character and personality of a man would be more important than his looks. And yet, so many girls always want to go for the "Bad Boy" types out there.