I have been dating this woman for almost a year now and everytime we argue the whole thing gets turned around onto me. I feel very poorly treated and yes, often times during an argument I will bust out the four-letter "C" word and have even told her to "go die" because I feel she has just pushed my buttons that far. I always step up to the plate and take responsibility for my actions and each argument is only resolved when I say that I am the cause and that I have done everything wrong. This woman never acknowledges that she ever does anything wrong and it's always a one-way street rather than a two-way like a relationship should be. She has had me convinced to go into counseling, which I did, and the counselor told me he saw no signs of an anger problem so I stopped going. This started another argument because things didn't appear to be going her way. My friends all tell me that they see how she tries to control and manipulate me. I don't know what to do anymore...
2006-12-02 08:34:29 · 14 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey cris....you sound like a nice guy - gals like that need an overbearing man - not a guy like you. I would break it off if I were you. Controlling people like that don't change. Can you see yourself dealing with this situation the rest of your life? Of course not! Break it off. There is someone out there who will treat you well. Good luck!!!
2006-12-02 08:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When in doubt, you can live without.
When you find yourself talking to others about your relationship problems, you know it's over.
She took you to counseling to "fix" you and it hasn't even been a whole year?
Since neither of you feels any responsibility in the fighting (I am sure you're not the blameless victim you portray yourself as) then you shouldn't be togehter.
You sound really spiteful, but then again so does she. You are clearly both unable to see from each other's perspective. You two are more interested in being right and defending your own position than having mepathy. You seek to assassinate each other's character. How's that working out for you?
Why are you still together wasting yout time?
2006-12-02 09:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should call her names, but I understand how it feels to be so angry. Learning to take responsibility for my part in what goes wrong in a relationship was a hard step for me to take. I could only see what he did wrong, but he told me that my blaming him bothered him a lot. So I worked hard at trying to look at things from both his point of view and mine before we tried to resolve things. I worked on it because the relationship was important to me and I wanted it too work. Tell her that she needs to stop blaming you for everything and see the wrong she's done. Don't try this in the middle of the argument. Do it when you're just spending time together. This way tempers aren't flaring and she may see that you aren't just doing it out of anger or spite.
2006-12-02 08:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by bmoregurl23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get drug into the argument. Change your buttons. You are in charge of your behaviors. Sweetie, NEVER use the C word! Oh, and get out of this dysfunctional relationship before you have anger issues. Good luck to you. Yep, she's a manipulator.
2006-12-02 08:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she likes the drama associated with always fighting, but accepts no responsibility for her actions. She is doing it on purpose. She is manipulating you, controling you, and doing a good job. She wants to be number one, all of the time, at any cost. Costs: Your job, your friends, your family, your dog, and finally your balls. She won't stop until you're dressing alike and doing everything her way, when she wants.
Run!
2006-12-02 08:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
is she trying to control u or maipluate u .. well to be honest when a woman wants to do that men usually dont feel it which means women are good at it ! in ur case u can feel it so she aint that good !
NOW to the point i think she is crazy ... if a relationship is not two way based than it's not a relationship coz there are two ppl involve in it and in ur case its not like SO ITS NOT EVEN A RELATIONSHIP......
YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE OR ANYTHING ITS JST THE THINGS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH ... KEEP THINKING THIS AND THEN DUMP HER AND FIND SOMEONE WHO TREATS U BETTER!!! good luck !!!
2006-12-02 08:42:15 · answer #6 · answered by sandras 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-23 13:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a megalomaniac if what you say is true. You can expect more of the same, and there's little chance of her changing. Most people like that cannot change because they have too much invested in their delusions.
So, if you want to stay with her, know that nothing is likely to change.
2006-12-02 08:40:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
bro i know what you mean see...this worked for me i broke up with her and didn't even call her once untill one night she called back saying she was sorry and that she loved me...now i only call her once and make her call me more then me...we both happy now and we dont argue or control each other...man if she keeps on like this dump her or be a man and tell her straight out and dont feel bad she doesnt feel bad about you when she controls you
2006-12-02 08:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Orlando 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd dump her if I were you - relationships shouldn't be so drama-filled. Why are you with her? She treats you poorly, you never get to have your way and she sounds crazy.
2006-12-02 08:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by slinkey_1616 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋