tell me if I'm wrong?

Question

my wife is a stay at home mom.she surf the net ,chat lines,and blogs lately she only has guy friend she talk to online ,i told her to stop. to me that cheating.recently she called one guy at his home and i found out. should i leave her or work it out ? i'm really hurt by this plus i'v never put her in any situation like this help

thank you all for you help, i really really thank you for your thoughts on this problem

Answer 1

Well that's really inappropriate of her to behave like that. She really needs to open up about the marriage, and see what really is going on. If you did the same thing she would claim she's hurt, and you've betrayed her. I would cut off the Internet, she can get a job, if she's so bored, she can cook and clean, and stuff like that, she can go to school, or something. There's something else going on, I don't know what her reactions are towards this, but she needs to take this seriously, it's not ok, and it's cheating, or very close, because the next step is for her to meet up with one of these guys, then turn it around and blame you for it. If she wants someone to talk to, she should have you, make sure you're available to her emotionally without judgments. Vice-versa. I hope she understands that she can cause a lot of damage to the relationship, and blowing your concerns off aren't going to change the fact that it bothers you. She doesn't have to stop because you want her to, she should stop because she has acknowledged that it hurts you, that's compromise.

Answer 2

Yes it is cheating if she can't do the very things you describe when you are there. No you should not leave her. The thing is you asked her to stop and she hasn't. Explain to her that you feel this is cheating and that you are finding it harder to trust in her. I think you should ask her straight up is their a problem in your marriage. Talk to her and try to resolve this issue. If she continues to surf after that, then maybe then consider leaving to get "some piece of mind". If it comes to this, get your thoughts together and observe if there are any changes in her. Take 4 to 8 months or however long you can stand to see if she is willing to work things out. Remember, this is not about getting your way, but what is right. You should be able to get a read on her and what her intentions are when it comes to your marriage by doing this. I do hope though that it doesn't come to this and you should also consider seeking professional help.

Answer 3

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. My husband was doing the same thing so I did some snoopy and found an email that he sent to a woman. He asked her out for dinner. I confronted him and now we trying to work it out. But if I had done something earlier it might not have gone as far as it had. And because of the snooping, I stopped it from going any further. If it is really nothing, then she should be all right having you sit next to her while she is chatting. They have software that lets you see exactly what is going on line. I have it now and will use it until my husband has earned my trust.

Answer 4

She may need something to do with her bored time or to get some romance. What do you do with her, for her, or take her to so that she feels like she gets out of the house? If you give her enough of all this you don't need to worry. If she is missing something then you need to worry. See how this jealousy thing works. A telling her to not will only cause more problems you need to talk and ask her. You will get the ? answer. Do you work to much or have other things than your wife as a hobbie. Making her feel like a sexy woman will go a long ways. Keeping her happy in all ways will go further.
Quit the drinking and hunting and let her know that she taste great and is wonderful. Get her bring you or meet you for lunch.

Answer 5

I talk to guys on line, but my husband is right there when I am doing it to. I am not hiding a thing from him at all. As far as her calling this guy, or even him calling her, that is stepping over the line. What I would do is set down and have a talk about what is going on with all this. Then let her know how you feel about it. And then ask her again to stop talking to them period. If she cares about you at all she will stop making contact with them period. In one since of the word, she is cheating on you now, but it is getting ready to go to the next level of cheating as she has made phone contact now. If she will not stop doing it, then you have 2 choices that I see, one you can either live with a cheater or get a divorce and find someone that will have respect for you.

Answer 6

I myself am married and also surf the net but I do not call guys. I have called 1 person but was a female. I have a blog but it's for family. If she's calling guys then I think you 2 should talk and she has to be honest. Is there az reason why shes calling them?

Answer 7

Nothing wrong with being on the computer....but calling a guy at his home???? That is crossing the line. I wonder why you are so eager to leave though? This problem is so small compared to what she could have been doing. If you both love each other..compromise and keep the marriage going.

Answer 8

Apparantly she's got too much time on her hands, and she's bored. Usually boredom brings trouble of some form. When does she find time to take care of home and children??? Let her know what you are giving to your marriage, and what you expect in return. No you're not wrong at all.

Answer 9

Talk to her and point out your reasons why it hurts you to see her talking with other guys you don't know. Also point out that ti's the internet and she might be talking to people that aren't who they say they are. If that doesn't work out go to couples therapy.

Answer 10

whats the big deal if she chats with some guy online? maybe she needs someone tot alk to other then u. i don't think its a big deal as long as they keep it to talking only. if they start hanigng out or somehting then i can see u getting mad