I told a woman that I wanted to take a break in our realtionship after dating for about three months. I still wanted to keep in contact with her and be friends for a while and just take things slowly because of our financial situations. I also care for my grandmother full-time. I still have feelings for this woman (my ex girlfriend, not grandma!!! haha). Her and I had alot in common and we had the longest and best conversations. She had a good sense of humor. She appeared to be somewhat mad. But she is the tough type and doen't really show any emotion anyways. I expected that. Anyways, two days afterwards, she sent an email to my brother telling him that she met "this great guy" and she was going out to dinner with him. I think she knew my brother would tell me this right away. So I am not sure if it is true or not. Should I just leave the situation alone and just look for another realtionship with someone else when I am ready?
2006-12-02 07:48:23 · 16 answers · asked by cannonball 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Good answer, Anniegirl!
2006-12-02 08:11:40 · update #1
If your instincts told you to move on, You should listen, She's trying to play you against your brother, Run away my man she's a user. Also why be with some one who's lacking emotions.?
2006-12-02 11:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Bear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't have your cake and eat it too, in other words, break up with her and expect her to wait around until your "ready". Here's the thing though, it does not sound like your ready to let her go, which means maybe breaking it of with her was not what you really wanted. Maybe you thought because of your financial situation or Grandma it was something you HAD to do, not something you WANTED to do. maybe you should talk to this girl and see where your feelings actually stand. You'll probably find out that she doesn't care about the financial thing or Grandma as long as she gets to be with you.
And if she does care about it, well, then she wasn't worth your time anyway!!!!!
2006-12-02 15:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by Silly Billy 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wait a minute - the original poster said that HE requested the break.
Look, taking a break is a nice say of saying "I'm going to go out with other people, and be completely unaccountable to you".
Maybe not in guy-speak, but that's probably how she read it.
She is probably still interested in you, and wants to see your reaction to what would happen if she went out with someone else?
And it's a challenge. What are you going to do? Are you going to man up and claim her for yourself? Or are you content with letting her go? She'll eventually stop testing you (telling your brother) and move on. It seems to me that she is giving you one last chance to make your move.
Make a choice and decide. Girls aren't going to wait on your indeciciveness, regardless of your financial or living situation. If they really dig you, they'll work with you so that it can work out. You've given the impression that you're "giving up" because of your stressful situations, and she may be telling you that she isn't willing to give up. But I'm sure the offer is going to eventually expire.
You can't take a "break in your relationship" when you're married. If I was you, I'd break that habit so you can get an idea of what a healthy committed relationship looks like. You don't want to get married unprepared for the inability to "take breaks".
Good luck friend. Go get her.
2006-12-02 16:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by sportscam_guru 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like she is hurt cause you are not spending enough time with her, you broke a stance in the romance.. and she is contacting your brother to let you know she can't handle the competition between grandma-ma and her. Should you leave the situation alone? I don't know? Do you love this girl? Sounds like you have a mixed bag of feelings for her. You have a lot in common, she has a good sense of humor but she is mad most of the time. What about? Do you know?
2006-12-02 15:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by atantatlantis 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If this girl is lying about meeting someone else, and her "dishonesty" leads you to "get her back", then she has succeeded using a lie to control you - not good as I see it. If she is truthful, then how much could she have cared for you to begin with?
And if she DOES care for you - but can't handle things any better, then why reward such conduct? Honesty and direct communication are critical to a good relationship. She has communicated to you that she is moving on. Maybe you made a mistake and lost her, but what's done is done.
As has already been said, don't let her play mind(less) games on you. There are many fish in the sea.
Isn't there a "relationships" section here where you could have asked your question?
2006-12-02 18:40:31 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear friend,
I saw your question and couldn't help answering. I believe you know the answer to your question, when you wrote "Should I just leave the situation alone and just look for another relationship with someone else when I am ready?" This woman is trying to manipulate you when you have been honest and told her you want to take a break. So, if you can, try not to respond to the "bait" of jealousy she is trying to catch you with. This is just my opinion, if you were mad keen on her you wouldn't have taken a break because you wouldn't have wanted to risk her meeting someone else.
So, really, you know what to do.
2006-12-02 16:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by annetoyou 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One of the oldest lines, next to "It's not you, it's me" is "we need to take a break". She assumes you have other issues on your agenda, perhaps another lady. She is reacting out of hurt. Could be that she has met someone. However, if she has feelings for you, which I assume she does, she wouldn't be THAT interested in him so soon. You my friend must make up your mind. Do you want to continue a relationship with her? Or do you want to toss her aside and see what else is out there for you? Don't assume she will be there when YOU are ready for a relationship. Oh and if you wait until your finances are in order you might end up a lonely old man. Decided which side of the road you want to drive on and get on with it. Good luck.
2006-12-02 15:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by Catie 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you tell someone that you want a break in you relationship you run the risk that they will do just that, take a permanent break. Sounds like you have things which mean moe to you than her at the moment, so perhaps she realizes that and has moved on.
2006-12-02 15:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Joy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either its true and then you might kiss her good bye or she is trying to make you jealous by telling your brother and is therefore trying to get you back. You need to find out more about it.
However if I was her and someone tells me we take a break I wouldn't be sitting around waiting if we're eventually would be getting back together. I would forget about the guy and move on.
2006-12-02 16:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Generally, people ask to take breaks when they have met someone else. I think you should move on and look for someone else when you're ready.
2006-12-02 15:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋