Well, this happened really early in the morning when I was leaving for work. He has used my SUV the night before, and left it without any gas in the tank. I leaned over the bed and gave him a kiss.
And then I asked " Hun, did you forget to out gas in my car?"
He answered " oh yeah but you can put gas right now"
Me "i'm already running late, you're not working today, can I take your car instead, and you can put gas in mine, i'll give you the gas money"
and then he got really but really madd and said: "well why can't you take yours? huh?"
me- "because you left me without gas, and i am late already"
him- "it's so ****** early, why the hell are you already talking ****, damn that's all you do"
I grabbed my purse and I left for work, now I can't stop thinking about it. It's really bothering me, he has never done this before. But I am too pissed off to just talk him.
what should I do, or what do you think?
2006-12-02 06:48:19 · 17 answers · asked by 2pretty4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like he was having a bad morning and if this is not something that is normal chances are he feels like an ***. If you take the advice of some others and go home pissed off with a chip on you shoulder or try to pick a fight with him he will get defensive and it will only make things worse. I would go home and be very nice but a little disstant at the same time. Trust me if your nice he will feel much worse and will try to make it up to you( I've been married for nine years and this works). Everybody wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and if it were you you would want to be able to apollogise and get on with your night with out having to fight about it.
2006-12-02 07:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said this never happen before and without knowing how long you have been together, I'd say shake it off. Maybe an apology will be waiting for you when you get home. I think that if you call home ahead of time and try to talk about the morning maybe you can work it out before you get home.
Now I am assuming that you had plenty off gas in your car before he used it. I put this out there because my soon to be ex would leave her car on low to E and when I borrowed it she expected me to fill it up. I would say something to her about this but it wasn't something I'd curse her out. The point is that if you left him on low and you do it all the time, maybe he was like I'm tired of gassing you up all the time. Why can't she gas the car up???
Now I am not choosing sides here but lets point out a few things. You were running late and from the way you described things, maybe you might have been more anxious than your description. He probably knew he was wrong and thought that you were jumping into his "stuff" instead of being sincere. We all read into are partners too much sometimes. Sometimes we have to say that I am not trying to argue with you to let the other person know that I am not coming at you in an unacceptable way. However, he shouldn't have cursed at you over this situation. He could have been more thoughtful about your situation. I guess the thing is if that is your vehicle so let him know that if he chooses to use it the next time, it needs to be gassed up. Talk to him and work it out.
2006-12-02 07:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You handled the situation poorly. You should have just left a note that said "I took your car because mine had no gas *HINT*, and I was running late. Sorry. Love you. *kisses*"
2. I'm a complete B***h in the morning. Especially when someone just wakes me up and wants to have a serious conversation. I suspect this is what happened with your husband.
When you get home, say your sorry for waking him up and trying to have a serious conversation with a half conscious person. He accepts your apology, then continue as if nothing has happened. You have learned from your mistake, and the next time this happens you have a plan.
Rule of thumb: Is this really worth fighting over? No? Get over it, and see what one can do to avoid this in the future. Yes? Stand your ground until the other party agrees or a compromise can be reached.
2006-12-02 07:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the topic you two choose to fight about is the gas in the cars, to avoid dealing with the real issue of the total lack of consideration and disregard for each other.
When you get off from work, get gas and go home. Say to him that you miss it when he is thoughful and considerate and fills your tank before returning your vehicle. Tell him when you get in it in the morning, you feel so special to him and it makes you glad that you're with him. Tell him you miss his thoughfulness and consideration, and his unconditional positive regard.
That would be much more effective than confronting him, critizing him, and it would not cause him to be defensive and lay it all on you. It would take him off guard and he would have to respond differently to you.
When you remind him of the things he does that you like, he remembers to do them more. When you sincerely acknowledge the little things (he took out the trash, made you coffee, and fed the cat) he remembers to do them more.
You cannot change his bad behavior but you can inspire good behvaior. You can only do that by appreciation, admiration, and recognition. So if you have to change your own behavior first, then that's what you have to do to inspire different behavior from him.
Nobody is motivated by criticism, complaints, or pointing out their shortcomings. People are motivated by appreciation and recognition.
If he runs your car out of gas next time, don't even ask but just take his car. Pick your battles, and resolve to renegotiate. Do not waste energy fighting about the topic rather than the issue.
2006-12-02 07:23:30 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have an SUV how can you leave the house without a stop at the gas station? You should have planned that into your schedule. LOL
2006-12-02 07:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF that is all your husband has done to you. Go home give him a big kiss and tell him how much you love him. Fix him real good dinner and tonight give him all the love he wants, because you got a fantastic husband that really loves you. You are very, very, fortunate girl
2006-12-02 07:34:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To begin with, I wudnt've been pissed, when I discovered my tank was empty at his doing. Thus, I wudda left him a note:
"Since you left me with no gas, I'm taking your vehicle, and you can fill mine up. Thank you/"
2006-12-02 07:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so did you take his car? If it was me I would've called him on the way to work and asked what his problem is. Obviously he is having a bad morning but he left yoru car with no gas in it so it's just right for him to let you take his car.. he took your car to begin with. So I would call him and see why he was the one instigating a fight.
2006-12-02 06:55:45 · answer #8 · answered by Laura s 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Cool off, wait for the perfect opportunity when he asks you to use your vehicle again, and you kindly remind him of this most recent incident, you'll get your justification and gratification all at the same time. We women know that men can be so anal.
2006-12-02 10:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
forgive and let it go, as you said "he has never done this before". the best method in relationship is to meet evil with good.
2006-12-02 06:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋