or anyone. I'm really passionate about my fam and he's heard me talk about everyone but my mom. The reason is I dont have a relatinship with her. The first "split" came when I was around 8. She got into drugs after my dad cheated (still unclear on whether or not thats what drove her to it, but I do blame him) and tried to straighten up a few times, but it never worked. She was in and out over the years and I havent seen/ talked to her her since I was 14, now 21. He is a family oriented person and wants to know what the situation is. I dont mind telling him, but I get sooo weak when I talk about this. Also, I dont want him to see me differently knowing I come from a broken home and knowing I have a drug addicted mom. How can I tell him the situation and not get so emotional? I think he desrves to know this part of my past & I dont wanna seem like I'm hiding anything.
2006-11-30 05:48:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should be honest with him. You seem to understand the basic premise that he deserves to know the truth. Well, this is your chance to open up to him and strengthen your relationship with him. I'm sure he will undertand what you have gone through and why it makes you appreciate what you have now. People are shaped by their experiences and your experiences have turned you into a caring person.
2006-11-30 05:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by marlonr76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a lot of hurt. You don't have to tell him if you're not ready yet, but if you really want to, you should trust him with this.
If you can't talk to him face to face, why not write him a letter? If you explain to him how much talking about this affects you, then he'll understand why you couldn't talk about it before. Let him know that it's difficult for you, but you really want him to know everything about you, and that the letter is so that he'll know why you don't talk about her.
Once he knows the story, you'll feel a bit more relaxed about it, and you'll be able to talk to him if the subject ever comes up.
Good luck!
2006-11-30 05:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that you do need to talk to him about this but i don't think there is any way to do it without getting atleast a little emotional. But if he is a good guy then he will understand that this is a very sore subject for you and he should try to comfort you. He won't think your a worse person because of it, he'll think of you two as closer because you were able to share that with him. He will understand,
2006-11-30 05:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyInLove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when I have something that my b/f really wants to know, but its hard for me to talk about it, i write him a letter. it's easier for me, and he still gets to find out what he wants to know. You'll be able to think through everything while you're writing it, and a lot of people don't say exactly what they want when they talk about stuff like this, so that's a plus. And he can't interrupt you... I guess the only bad thing is is that it's not as personal as telling him yourself, but if it's hard for you, then it's a happy medium.
2006-11-30 05:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, 99% of America comes from a broken home. Everyone has someone in their family who has caused problems in the family. You should not be embarassed. Just recognize that you are not alone and I would be VERY suprised if you boyfriend is not sensitive to this. He should be your comfortor.
2006-11-30 05:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both love each other then you'll be fine. Just tell him the truth. He'll be there for you when you tell him, and if he really loves you he won't care about what happened with your mom, he'll still love you the same. Everything will be alright, just trust him. Good luck.
2006-11-30 05:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite him over or to some calm, private location and tell him just what you told us. Express your concern that he will judge you because of your mother's mistakes, and let him know how you have felt about it all.
If he rejects you because of it, you will have learned a very important thing about the guy--that he's lacking in compassion and not someone who could make you happy.
2006-11-30 05:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter and let him read it while you're there so you guys can talk about it as he reads. He seems to be a very understanding person so im sure it will be okay. Good Luck!
2006-11-30 05:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by tite eyez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with this guy? Depending on the answer to that, you should be able to tell him about it. He should love you for you...not what happened to your Mother.
2006-11-30 05:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by baby1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves and cares about you then he shouldn't care about your past. Just tell him the truth and he'll understand.
2006-11-30 05:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋