My name is Matt and i am 14...?

Question

my mum died 2 and half years ago and it happened at the end of junior school. All my friends know about it and are really understanding. However, all of my teachers do not and they often mention stuff about parents such as "Matt, can you get your mum to check your homework" and i dont know what to sey as it quite upsets me. i just reply "yes" and walk..do u think i should tell my teachers or do you think they might just think that i am a wimp. Thanks

Answer 1

i think u should tell them cause i know how u might feel i never lost my mother but i lost the best thing next to her and that was my brother... sumthimes i get mad when peopl ask me about my brother but u cant expect for people to know when ur hurting or whenu r grieving over a lost one....it might help to talk to ur teachers about ur mothers death cause it takes a strong man to cry and admit that hes hurting especially if its a situation like this one......talk to them they probably can make it more comfortable for u.........i'm sorry about ur lost and ur in my prayers baby............keep ur head and look for better days ahead wit a smile on ur face.....

Answer 2

When they say: "Matt, can you get your mum to check your homework?" Say: "No, I can't, she has passed away".
The response from your teacher will be: "I'm so sorry".
You are not a wimp because your mother died. There is no reason whatsoever to think that.
I would say if you need someone to talk to, then ask an understanding teacher if she can recommend someone just to help you get your feelings out.
It is hard when we lose a loved one and there are so many emotions and feelings to go through. You are perfectly ok and you are by no means alone. Remember that every single one of us will die one day and we will lose someone we love. Every single one of us.
My thoughts go out to you and I send you the good vibes.

Answer 3

It is awkward sometimes.
My dad died 3 years ago and I still miss him like mad. It's hard when people just assume that you still have both parents.
I suppose it depends how you feel at the time. If you want to tell them, then go on and do it. If you don't want to, then don't.
You're certainly not being a wimp. You've already been through so much for a young lad, and you sound like you've come out the other side of it really well. If that's not brave, I don't know what is.

Answer 4

99.9%, they might be the one to feel sorry. They're human beings too and they also have a mother. They feel what you feel towards your mum and will definitely understand you.

And yes. you should tell your teachers when they ask something that involves your mum. However, in some situations, they might not believe you and might think your just joking (e.g. when you're in trouble or something - they might think it's just an alibi). When this happens, sincere explanation always works. It's a mystery why people always know the difference with lies and truths when they look at someone's eyes. Psychologies syas that it's with the muscle movements.

Answer 5

You must tell your teachers if this is upsetting you. What we did with my son , was to have a word with just one teacher, who then had a word with the rest if them, and things got sorted that way. They will most definitely not think you are a wimp, but will most probably think how adult you are for wanting to sort the situation out with them. If you think you will find it too difficult to approach a teacher, you could ask a friend, to do it for you, or write a note. Hope you get sorted soon good luck!

Answer 6

Oh Matt. That must be awful for you. But you will have to remember that the teachers aren't saying things about your mum to upset you, they just don't know. I don't think that you are a wimp at all. Sometimes it is easier not to say anything at all, or if you don't want to say it, what about writing a letter after the teacher has said it to you.

Answer 7

Sorry Matt that's really hard, my mum died a few years ago I am an awful lot older than you and I still miss her, perhaps if you could arrange a talk with your Nurse or Head teacher / Principle perhaps and tell him / her about your Mum, honestly they are not all Ogres, then the word would be passed down.

Answer 8

well they wont think that, very few of them will be in that postions (in there 20's and 30's) be in that postion, so they should have the utt most sympathy, some of them might actully feel really bad about it, and even embrased, so you can say something, and you can't be a wimp, to lose some one in your family is one of the hardest things that could ever happen, and its really tough, there is some one i know who this happened to, and they have a really hard time dealing with it, so if you feel you just need a little bit of support like that, then i can see no reason for opperstion, though you may consider saying it not in frount of a load of your peers but after a lesson and indervidually to a your teachers of if you have a head of year, or principal, maybe you could raise your concerns with them because they would be able to send a message around to all of your staff and it would be really quiet if you dont' want all of yoru peers knowing.

Answer 9

I am extremely sorry for your loss. I stopped seeing ym dad about 7 years ago (when I was 8),s o i am about your age. Whenever anyone mentions "father" i get emotional, so I believe you should tell your teachers, but not in front of everyone in class. I would pull them aside after class (yes it may be awkward) and just let them know about it, and if you feel brave maybe stick in something about it affecting you when they say that. Teachers need to watch what they say sometimes. It can be emotional. Once again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

Hi Matt
I think as a mum that you should ask your dad or another relative to inform the school - you should not have to deal with this on your own.
My dad died when I was 10 but that was 40 years ago and we were born with stiff upper lips.
I remember my teacher telling me off for having muddy shoes, my dad always cleaned shoes!
You sound really sensible but you need help with this ask dad or grandma to deal with the school - or one of your friend's parents.
Good luck honey
efi

Answer 11

don't tell them individually, tell the headmaster and ask him if he could explain to them. you could even write him a short note and give it to reception for him.

my heart aches for u and it is not wimpish at all

teachers are paid to be caring but i think u will find they are sympathetic anyway.

i suspect the head will send them an internal memo or mention it at a staff meeting or such like.

i wish u all the very best and u have my very deepest sympathy.

my son is about the same age as u and i can't explain why but it is something which is very close to my heart at this point. i would like to say more but i can't.