I walk on eggshells around my husband.......?

Question

I had a great relationship with my husband before we got married, just five short months ago, now it seems like I have to walk on eggshells around him to keep him happy. I take care of our daughter, clean, do the laundry and work. I don't understand why everything has changed! It is heartbreaking, when he is so disrespectful to me. I find myself daydreaming of how things used to be.

Answer 1

Maybe he was hiding his true personality. Just be careful and watch for those signs of abuse. ;o(

Answer 2

This may sound dumb but at times they did. Like my father and mother I taught my children honesty, manners and respect for adults. Both were spanked when it was needed but neither one feared me unless they had done something wrong. Both grew up to be doctors (PhD and MD) with kids of their own (2 and 3). We still hug lots when we get together, I cry when they take MY grand kids back home. They raise their kids as I raised them. Having them walk on eggshells is what is needed today. Causing OCD, that in my opinion is horse hockey!

Answer 3

Make the time to set him down
Relationships are base on strong communication skills find out what causing the sudden behavior as to why your not meeting his needs... Stress plays a major roll in a mans behavior whether at work, home, bills, and sadly to say the idea of having the responsibility of having a family in general
You day dream on how it used to be good! He might be day dreaming facing all that's on his plate.. Knowing if he might be a failure in your eyes or his child... Thus bringing forth his moody behavior cause deep down he is not happy or secure with himself and he's taking it out on you!
I highly recommend that you immediately sit him down and valuate whats his delima? You need not to live on eggshell that only causes stress and that's very unhealthy.. You can only do better in your marriage by talking things out!
Be very supportive let him know how much you love him. Let him know you both can face anything together! However you also need to be honest about yourself that your not able to continue his abusive verbal behavior that is not acceptable... Remember today is today. and the future only holds on whom you allow to dictate your life!
That's whats exciting to live and learn please don't allow anyone to contain your personalty get busy living life to the fullest and sweep away those unwanted eggshells

Good luck

Answer 4

Most men do change after marriage... they have the papers signed and feel that they no longer need to try.... My husband was the same way then it lead to very abusive behavior... I would tell him about my feelings an if nothing changed then I would file for divorce and leave as fast as i could with my daughter... because when she gets old enough an see how her daddy is treating and she sees that you allow that kinda behavior she will end up doing the same thing in her relationship and being mistreated and no parents wants to see their child go through that... Think of yourself and your daughter she is way more important then any man ever will be.

Answer 5

Honey sometimes things change after marriage and we then find out what the other person is honestly like. I would tell him point blank that I cannot live the rest of my life like this, I am a person too and have feelings and things need to change. The longer you allow this behavior the more it will not only happen but it will become a permanant behavior pattern in your life. This is being disrespectful to you, clear the air and if nothing changes either seek professional counseling or file for divorce. A unity is two not one!

Answer 6

When requests don't get you what he want, and demands don't work either, our instincts and habits often provide us with another stupid and abusive strategy -- disrespectful judgments. Without a doubt, demands are abusive, but disrespectful judgments often make demands seem merciful in comparison.

In the final analysis, disrespectful judgments represent an effort to force you to give him what we want in marriage, but it's often cleverly disguised. Instead of making an outright demand, he present our problem as if it were really your's personal shortcoming. He try to "straighten out" you in an effort to get his way.

At the time he rationalize our disrespect by convincing ourselves that we're doing you a big favor, to lift you from the darkness of their confusion into the light of his superior perspective.
A disrespectful judgment occurs whenever one spouse tries to impose a system of values and beliefs on the other. When a husband tries to force his point of view on his wife, he's just asking for trouble. When a wife assumes that her own views are right and her husband is woefully misguided -- and tells him so -- she enters a minefield.
In most cases, a disrespectful judgment is simply a sophisticated way of getting what one spouse wants from the other. But even when there are the purest motives, it's still a stupid and abusive strategy. It's stupid because it doesn't work, and it's abusive because it causes unhappiness. If we think we have the right -- even the responsibility -- to impose our view on our spouses, our efforts will almost invariably be interpreted as personally threatening, arrogant, rude, and incredibly disrespectful. You should talk with him about your feelings. He most likely make yet another disrespectful judgment and claim that you are wrong! You and him have to start working on a plan to eliminate his disrespect. Most likely you will need counselings.

Answer 7

well know he has you see the real person you marry and he is going to treat you as he feel fit this is a shame men do this to there wife i read about this a lot on yahoo
you need either talk to him before it get to much out of hand or leave him because you need to be happy to in your life and you are differently not happy with your husband know and thing are not going to get any better in less you speak your mind or leave him it up to you good luck

Answer 8

I am sorry that things are so bad for you. You need to tell him how unhappy you are and how that isn't good for you or your daughter. Urge him to go to counseling with you if you can't talk it out yourselves and don't have anymore children until you are sure that your marriage is stable and the way you want it to be. It's true that things change after marriage, but it shouldn't have changed so much so soon. Good luck to you all.

Answer 9

Veronica, I have been married for 6 months and the last two months I couldn't seem to do or say anything right without my husband going off on me. Well, I decided to tell him that if he's that unhappy with me that counseling might be the answer. He says no that there's nothing wrong with him. It's me. So I said that maybe we should go our seperate ways. He agreed. So I began packing my things and stayed calm. It took me three hours to get my things together and three hours for him to think about what was happening. As I tried to say goodbye, he asked me not to leave, that he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I explained that I couldn't go on living this way because it was breaking my heart and if I stayed then we would have to go to counseling. He agreed. We found that there were issues in our past that was making us both miserable and we found a way to deal with them. It's been 1 month and our life is so much better. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

You need to do some family counseling. If you belong to a church your minister may be trained in this, otherwise ask your doctor for a referral. Make an appointment. If your husband refuses to come, then go without him, because you will need help learning how to deal with him. You will need to figure out if the marriage can be fixed, and what to do if it can't.

Good luck!

Answer 11

You need to communicate with your husband and explain how you feel. Ask him to open up with you and let him know that by opening up, that's the only way to solve things. There could be something seriously bothering him. If nothing changes, seek professional help with a marriage counselor. Hopefully the two of you can solve the ongoing issues in your marriage.