Interracial Relationships. Help, Please.?

Question

My boyfriend is black and I am mixed between Puerto Rican and Cuban (I honestly feel that both of Cubans and Puerto Ricans come from mixed backgrounds, but my parents say otherwise). We've been dating for about 9 months and he's everything I've ever wanted in a boyfriend and more. My parents have recently started getting on my case about him being black. I've tried to tell them both that I'm in love with this guy and he means a lot to me. I'm really happy with him. My mother in particular has been trying to stop me from seeing him whether its coming up with some ridiculous excuse as in to why I can't go out or taking my cell phone away from me in order to stop any form of communication. I'm upset by the fact that my parents are being so closed minded/selfish about this situation. I refuse to let our relationship go down the drain because of them. I also made my boyfriend aware of this to make sure he could deal with it and that we could deal with it TOGETHER.

P.S. I'm 18 and I'm a little too old for MOM to be taking away my cell phone, but she actually disconnected it because of the fact that stupid me allowed to add myself to her contract. I'll be graduating in a few months so I don't think I'll be dealing with her or my father much longer.

I'm 18 and I'm a little too old for MOM to be taking away my cell phone, but she actually disconnected it because of the fact that stupid me allowed to add myself to her contract. I'll be graduating in a few months so I don't think I'll be dealing with her or my father much longer.

What really upsets me is how she says I'm a disgrace and I will make them and my family look bad if I marry a black guy. He's really smart and has a lot of potential. He's getting seriously involved in the music business and I believe one day he's going to make it, so I don't believe it has anything to do with our "goals" in life.

I'm 18 and I'm a little too old for MOM to be taking away my cell phone, but she actually disconnected it because of the fact that stupid me allowed her to add myself to her contract in order to save some money. I'll be graduating in a few months so I don't think I'll be dealing with her or my father much longer.

What really upsets me is how she says I'm a disgrace and I will make them and my family look bad if I marry a black guy. He's really smart and has a lot of potential. He's getting seriously involved in the music business and I believe one day he's going to make it, so I don't believe it has anything to do with our "goals" in life.

Ha. Believe it or not this relationship has nothing to do with sex. I'm actually a virgin and he's fully aware of that and respects it. I wouldn't have it any other way. As for college yes it's in my future. I'm looking into multiple universities in Georgia & Florida. I want to major in Psychology and minor in Business & Finance. I'm actually in the process of going to get my real estate license so that I can hopefully get a head start and save some money for the future I have ahead of me. (I have a pretty good head on my shoulders).

Answer 1

My parents were the same way when I dated outside my race and I didn't understand it, I was happy and they were ruining everything. I think if you are happy with him then be with him regardless of what your parents say (I did). They will try everything to prevent you from seeing him but in this situation they are kinda being selfish and racist at the same time. There's nothing wrong with interracial dating (now-a-days). Good luck with your parents accepting your happiness.

Answer 2

Really is it just because he is black, if so that is pretty bad, what would they think of a white boyfriend? And maybe the person that said perhaps they (your parents) just saw more for you then any relationship at this time and are objecting and grabbing at straws.

What are your future intentions for you for your life and independence what do you want for a job, is college in the picture for you how about all of that. After all you are just 18.

And how old is your boyfriend, and maybe they see a character trait or two in him that you are not seeing because you are so much in love with him................pretty strong for 18 ......you are sounding like this is it ....end of everything for you and giving it all up to a man (or a boy) in your parents eyes.
Put yourself in your parents shoes .....you are still their baby girl and you really are still a baby (18) that is not very old and perhaps not mature or near ready to give it all up to a guy! Life goes way beyond 18 and love and everything I have ever wanted, when you are just 18 .........come on now what do you truly know (not trying to be mean here) about ever wanting? You have only been out of diapers for maybe 16 years, and having a period for what 5-6 years and not out of highschool yet! Come on now what about life do you really truly know as far as experience and wisdom and understanding as to what it is like being an adult.
And you say you just know he is going to hit it big in music..........WOW...........that would scare me too in fact it is and I am not even your parent!
Come on honey wake up.....enjoy your boyfriend, be a kid (teenager) as you are but dont throw in the towel until you know what your throwing it in for,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,love takes time.............so take some time and slow down!

One more thing dont forget when intimate a male has millions of little guys that every singe time and every single chance they get no matter how few sneak out go like HELL FOR YOUR EGGS and POP it's baby time and if that happens you will really find out what love is or isnt about!

Good Luck and Lighten up OK!

Answer 3

Maria, yes it's going to be hard in an interracial relationship. Some people just don't want to open up with different races being together. Yes, you're 18, but you still live in your parents house, so you should respect them, but on the other hand they should try to understand that you are an adult and are able to make some decisions on who you date or not date. Talk to your parents, ask them to go out with your boyfriend and you to dinner at a nice resturant and see how many interracial couples there really are out in the world. God didn't say love had a color, and I honestly believe that, we love who we love and we can't help it. It's just hard for some to understand why we love out of our races, look at your parents, they're an interriacial couple. I hope all works out for you. Just don't give up on your love.

Answer 4

Chica, I don't know how old you are, but if you're still young enough that your mom takes away your cell phone to keep you from talking to him... well, maybe you need to take a step back. Maybe your mama sees something in this boy that she knows isn't good for you. Is he a decent, honest young man with some nobility in his soul, or is he just a gangbanga-street- thug that's hot to trot and knows how to scratch your itch? As far as the interracial dating goes, the story of Moses's sister Miriam giving him a hard time because of his black wife comes to mind; Miriam was stricken by leprosy because of it! But your story is not one of maturity. Let this cool off and see if it stands the test of time; don't make it a test of childish rebellion against your parents. They want what's best for you; if you earn their respect, they will trust you more. Talk to them. Ask if they can all meet over dinner to talk. (If he won't spend time w/ su familia, then color him bye-bye.)

Answer 5

I know its hard to deal with parents in this situation. I fought the fight with my father for many years. Just a piece of advise to you from me....
Fight for what you believe in, even if it is between you and your parents. Let your parents know that you love them, but this is something you are standing firm about. You are an adult now and soon will be living your life without your parents there 24/7. Don't let them make you unhappy by not letting you see this boy. They are your parents, and once they see you are serious about him and arent giving up, they will realize there is nothing they can do and will actually be proud of you for standing up for yourself.

Answer 6

I see your situation as this, Your mother and father have than more than likely grown up in a era where in hispanic cultures you married who your folks thought you should marry! I wouldn't look at it as they dont like him b/c hes black, its more they didnt choose him "b/c of his standing in society" as most cultures do! But first and formost I would sit down and talk to them and tell them how you feel, that ultimately should ease all uneasyness between you and them. And secondly dont spoil a love for someone b/c someone else doesnt except it, Its already hard to come by without any troubles! So again maybe its more than just his color, Just my two cents!!

Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

Sometimes people answer these questions too quickly.

Are you sure the fact that he's black is the only reason they don't like him? Maybe they have expectations for your life that they don't think a relationship with him will help you achieve. Does he have the same or similar goals and aspirations and values as you and your family do?

If it's just his skin color, it sounds like you've already decided you want to be with him regardless of trouble. If that's the case, then just stick with it.

Answer 8

Maria -
Interracial relationships are hard, unfortunately. No matter where you go or what you do someone will be giving you a hard time.

I am sorry that your family will not back you on your choice of men, but you must remembert that loves has no color.

Answer 9

Interracial relationships are hard to deal with, because of the backgrounds. But if you really love him, you should stay with him because its mainly about who the personis instead of his physical appearence.

Answer 10

I only really date women who are of a different race to myself. I am just more attracted to women who are different to me. You have my complete support and I hope everything goes well for you.