What do we do about the problems my 3.5 year old son is having in his preschool? Son's teacher has labeled

Question

him a trouble maker to other parents and kids. When talking to us about something my son did, it is always presented as though he acted alone. Yet, I know from other parents, that their kids were involved too. But, these other parents are told my son was to blame. When a very rambunctious boy hits my child, my son hits him back. The rambunctious boy (whose family is personal friends with the teacher) doesn't get in trouble, but my son does. My son does do things sometimes, I'm not saying he is a total angel. However, he is getting so labeled that everything is getting blamed on him. We had a party the other night with adults and their kids. One of the kids fell down when running. According to the child that fell and my son, it was because the boy tripped and my son had nothing to do with it. Yet, when one of the girls from school saw the boy hurt, she immediately stated that my son had hurt the boy. No other preschools near us. What should I do?

Answer 1

explain calmly 2 teacher, ask son/other kids side of story

Answer 2

I think the education system is taking too far with toddler. He is a Toddler and he is doing great already! Most kids don't learn how to read or do anything significant in class until they are in first grade. That is why Kindergarden was so fun! Now we have teachers and education systems expecting the impossible. He is only three and a half years old! The fact that he plays with other kids and talks is great. He is at the level he is supposed to be at. I read that ADHD and ADD is a BS diagnosis because the Teachers claim some students are these things and then the School gets more money per child with that diagnosis because now they become "Special Needs" children. Read about that and see the false truths about that so they can get money for their schools. Don't give him ANY Meds. If it is that bad...take him out of the school if you can and send him back in when he is Five like most children who are ready to learn at that age. I didn't go to school until I was five. It is not natural to start school at 3 anyway!!!

Answer 3

It sounds like your child needs to be in a different classroom. Maybe there is another preschool closer to work? You can try discussing the situation with the teacher and her supervisor, but it is not likely that it will change anything. Most likely, the supervisor will just tell the teacher not to tell you as much about what goes on in the classroom. That was what I was told as a teacher whenever a parent complained about me. I was told not to volunteer so much information.

If there really isn't any other preschool your son can go to, perhaps you can hire a babysitter for him. Some stay-at-home moms will take children into thier homes. Then your child still gets to socialze with other children and doesn't have to deal with being labeled a troublemaker. Also, check with you local child care council. There may be family daycares that you are not even aware of.

Answer 4

Hear is the first rule in Education 1- Privacy. Teachers should not be talking to other parents about your child. That breakes you childs right to have privacy as well. The teacher should not talk about this child outside of the work place. If the teacher is haveing problems with your child then you and the teacher should have a private talk and if that doesn't work then you and the principal/director should have a talk. Let the principal/director then have a talk with the teacher. You and your child should have a private talk about their behavior with the teacher so they will know you and the teacher are on the same page. If this does not work then yes I would consider another school.

Answer 5

You pay that day care to take care of your son in the best way possible. All pre-schools have guidelines (rules) and most of them you are not to even tell the own parent your kid is a touble maker. I think you should talk with the director how this situation is bothering you, maybe you will have a conference with the director, assistant, and the teacher. You may feel uncomfortanble but it's for your sons own good. You can always try to also volunteer in your time off just an hour or two that way you also get to see the environment aound your son. good luck

Answer 6

first things first speak to the teacher or teachers that a part of the classroom if this does not work talk to the manager or site director about what has been happening and request that they observe the classroom-teacher/s.
then set a time to observe your child in the classroom--any good program will allow you to watch if this does not work out ---request from the director of the school allow you to send in an objective observer to view the actions in the classroom(ive had this done myself)

once all of the observations have been made gather with your childs teacher/s, director/assistant director, and the objective observer and see what is actually happening then if your child is truly having trouble get them some help thru the school, or district. if the issue is with the teacher/s work with the director to get a more approiate classroom for your child, or if there is no resolution your only other alternative is to find a different program for your child.


if your child is in a public school program there may be an investigation also, share with them your results and make sure that if it is problem with the teacher she gets the retraining she needs or get her removed from the program.

Answer 7

Talk to the teacher. She should never tell toher parents who by name is involved in any incident. That would help your child with the parents, but the teacher has labeled your child, and that is unfair for a 3 year old. I am a preschool teacher, and if your son were in my room, I would have tried to find ways to help him express himself and let others know that things are bothering him. Try to teach your son to use his words more. If he starts telling the child who hits him that he doesn't like it when he is hit, and it hurts him, instead of hitting him back, the teacher will have to change her label.

Answer 8

One of the most important things children learn is social skills. What is this teacher doing to help your son?Regardless of whose fault is whose, the teacher should be modeling behavior for the children to know what is the correct behavior.
When there is an incident between two children, does she take the two aside and ask each one to talk about what happened? Then does she ask how they can fix it?
If she doesn't , then she is doing nothing to help your child or the others learn from behaviors that happen at school. The behaviors you listed are normal and an important learning tool for your child and others to learn from.
Placing blame and labeling is making the situation worse.
I would talk to the teacher and ask her why she doesn't like your son. Tell her your son said, "My teacher doesn't like me" ( Even if he didn't he probally feels that way) tell her you feel trapped because you are getting no support from the school. Talking to other parents about your child is extremely unprofessional.

Answer 9

I understand your situation but from a different perspective----
I worked for someone like that.
The owner/director of the center was "friends" with several parents and I found myself in a no win situation.
Although I was a lead teacher I was constantly being monitored and told how to do my job by the children, parents and the owner/director. Things went from bad to worse and I decided to go to another place where the lines between professionalism were clearly drawn.

So my advice to you is to take your son to a center that is professional and where you and your son do not have to fight a label that once given is very hard to get rid of.

Before he hates it take him to a more appropriate place.

Answer 10

Put him in a private daycare or hire someone to stay at your home with him. Sorry, how frustrating, of all people to be unfair, I wouldn't keep my child there because the fact that they have issues with him now, how could they even begin to treat him fairly and what do they do and how do they treat your son when your not there? I'd be concerned for my child's feelings and how he may have someone he should look up have an attitude towards him.

Answer 11

VERY BAD! He needs to go to a different pre-school where they teach kids conflict resolution. If, as you say, there aren't other schools in your area, he may do well in family daycare with a loving, but firm, baby-sitter. My son's daycare "mom" always had children matched by age, took the kids on field trips, taught them good manners and everything else they needed to know before kindergarten (colors, shapes, simple counting, etc.). You may find someone through a friend's referral or, if you go to church, maybe through fellow parishoners.
In any event, keeping your child where he is will be VERY damaging to his self-esteem, so remove him immediately!