Is it wrong to engage strangers in conversation?? Especially on public transportation!?

Question

K..so I'm a pretty good looking female college student, and my daily commute on the train is long and boring. Sometimes interesting looking people end up sitting with me. I'm friendly...is it wrong to start a conversion with a stranger on the trains? Would you be offended or upset if a stranger tried to have a conversion with you on a train or bus? Would you get upset or angry? Would you think(if u are a girl) that I must be a lesbian hitting on you? Would you think(if u are a guy) that I'm hitting on you? I just want to talk and maybe meet some interesting people...how wrong is this? Should I not do it?

Answer 1

All the above comments about this being harmless and a good thing are all very good... however from my days as a commuter I know there is another aspect to this. If most of the other people on your train are commuters then I can think of 2 reasons why they might not want strangers striking up a conversation.
1. On the train I used to get there you saw the same people everyday, so if you had a conversation with them, then the ice had been broken and you 'knew' them. After that it would feel rude to sit and read your book, or whatever and not talk to them in future. There would be no escape!
2. When I was commuting my train journey was a part of my day that I used like any other. So I would study for exams, or read a novel or catch up on sleep. I already had plans for that time. So if someone wanted a conversation with me it meant my plans had to change, without me really having any say in that.

So I'm certainly not saying that you shouldn't talk to people on public transport, just trying to shed some light on any negative reactions you may be getting.

Answer 2

This is very interesting - I've wondered about this same topic for quite some time. For some reason, people seem to invest in the community and in each other less than they used to. People are "conservative social investors" I suppose - and why? I suppose people are more into themselves than they used to be, and because of this, are less open to being approached by strangers in a grocery line or at a bus stop - even if they a person on a regular basis. Like you said, it's amazing that if you approach someone you see on a regular basis, YOU are out of the norm - but I have found something that works... Sometimes a simple nod will be received well - and then letting the other person take the next step (Hello) can work - in other words, the OTHER person chooses to speak after a basic friendly gesture, like a nod.... But it takes a long time for a friendship to develop, if ever...and sometimes, people are weird/not compatible with you, so you should try to take your time making friends nowadays I think.... But you're right - I don't like what it signifies for society - but I don't think it's the end - I think it means we're more in our own worlds at this time in our history - we can partially thank technology for this.... Great observations!

Answer 3

Its refreshing to hear about someone who is friendly and outgoing. No I would not think you where a lesbian. A man, well they always trip and fall over their tongue when a pretty lady is around. LOL! The only thing I wouldn't due and its because of our society now, is give out any personal information. Other then that its awesome to have a friendly person next to you during a long and boring commute.

Answer 4

Well you cant control wether or not people, male or female, would think ur hitting on them, i wouldnt think that wuld be the case if it was me, but im sure those pple are just as bored as you and would enjoy engaging in a conversation, and if not, then oh well, try again with someone else. im happy to know im not the only one out there who thinks similiarly, iv been in many situations where i would have loved to chatted with pple, but some pple to react as if your crazy and give you that WTF attitude....but when others dont, you meet a pretty diverse group of individuals that you wuldnt have met otherwise....

its by no means rude to try and strike up a conversation....the human race is ment to interact with each other....good luck hun, sorry you have a long boring commute! if all else fails, head phones or hand held games can be entertaining.....

Answer 5

It would never occur to me that you were hitting on me if you sat by me on public transportation and made conversation. LOL...I am a country girl and you remind me of a friend I have in New York. We call each other country sis and city sis. Most people enjoy having someone to pass the time with as they travel and I think they can tell the difference between someone who is just being friendly and someone who is hitting on them. Smile, talk and be friendly...the world needs more of that.

Answer 6

I do it all the time. An event may happen that affects me and another individual, and I comment, and we start conversing. But I never get to the point where I actually "become" friends with them. I feel content with the friends I have. I take the bus to and from school everyday, and I agree, boring without anything to do.

Answer 7

No, I don't think it's wrong.
It's natural to wanna talk to people, I'm a girl, and I wouldn't think you were hitting on me.
I think people find random coversations from young people weirder than with old people, but you go for it. Buses can be sooo boring sometimes, It'd be nice to have a good chat with a stranger.

Answer 8

It's OK, to talk to strangers, in a safe, public area, just watch for clues if they don't want to talk, like mumbling, or looking away, other wise lots of people, [especially shy ones], would enjoy having some one to talk with on a long ride, if they pull out a book, then you know to be quiet.

Answer 9

I don't think it's wrong at all. I would much rather talk to someone than sit by myself with nothing to do. I hate it when you try to be friendly and people act like you don't have any business talking to them. And no, I wouldn't just assume that you're a lesbian unless you did something specific to make me think that.

Answer 10

Nothing at all wrong with it in my opinion. I think a sincere smile and a friendly word can make someone's day. If not, and they respond negatively, take it in stride - they have bigger problems than you do.

Just don't be naive and use some common sense about where you are and who's around you - you do have to consider your personal safety.