This year my brother and his wife wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner at their new home for the first time . His new wife suggested this and threw in that my Mom wouldn't have to do all the cooking like she tends to do. I am the only sibling and I offered to cook a good portion of it to help out. The issue is that both Mom and Dad have to work on Thanksgiving and could not get it off, but they don't have to go in until 1:00pm. My sister-in-law is now saying that we are eating at 2pm and whoever can make it fine and whoever doesn't make it, fine. My husband and I (I am the sister of her husband) think that is really rude and that we should eat earlier so our parents can enjoy the meal before they have to leave for work. Last year I remember that my mother made everyone wait over an hour after the food was done so we could wait for my new sister-in-law to get off work and come eat with us. To top that off she asked my mom to bake 2 pies and a bundt cake.
2006-11-21 09:21:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
take it easy, it is a family reunion after all
:> peace
.
2006-11-24 17:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww...I think the problem is that your sister in law is kinda of being rude and obnoxious for wanting things her own maybe. Maybe she does or maybe she doesn't realize this. Trust me, I would know. Two of my cousins got married within a year and now the two wives and my aunt (who is the mother in law) are always having problem. One daughter in law wants to have it one way, the other wants it another, while the mother in law wants something totally different and get pissed. In-laws can be a very big handful. Thanksgiving is coming up so just sit down and talk to your sister in law and tell her it is rude that last year, your mother waited for you to get off work to have dinner together and now that your parents have work and have off, she is not waiting for them. Tell her she is being disrespectful and now has given your mom a handful in dealing with making 2 pies and a bundt cake. This thing happens ALL the time with my mother (where her friends always use her to make things for her and hardly ever say thanks)....she is hurt and i know ur mom is too.
2006-11-21 09:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister-in-law is ungrateful, forgetful and rude. This is a tough situation for your whole family because, no matter what, someone will be unhappy about whatever plan or change or plan. Here's my compromise: There will be 2 Thanksgiving parties: One at your brother's house at 2pm as she insisted; you need not bring anything because your parents cant' be there. The second party will be at your house the next day and everyone is invited. Thanksgiving party on the day after? Why not? in order to accomodate everyone.
2006-11-21 09:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A script for a Sister-in-Law:
"My dear sister... I am so thankful that you have joined our family. Please don't ever doubt that you are welcome, because you've added to our numbers and our joy.
However, I have a problem I'm really hoping you can help me with. Our parents (your NEW parents) have to work at 1pm on Thanksgiving Day. I remember that last year my mother required everyone to wait until you got off work before we ate, because, after all... you are a valued member of this family.
It is a lot of work to prepare such an important celebratory meal for so many loved ones. Is there anything I can do to help you out so we can all eat as a family?
It is important that you show that your new in-laws are as valuable to you, as you are precious to them."
There you go... laid on the line, clear expectations as possible. If she doesn't show a bit of empathy, then start with the recriminations.
2006-11-21 09:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That was incredibly thoughtless of your sister-in-law. I realize Thanksgiving is over, so all I can do is mention what I would have done. I would have hosted Thanksgiving either at my home or at my parents home prior to my parents leaving for work. If my sister-in-law and my brother declined to attend, then fine. I would have then attended dinner at their home (if they lived close enough) after my parents left for work. I'm sure I would not have wanted to eat again, but I would have felt it was gracious to attend.
This gives her a lesson in manners and she cannot say you ruined dinner by not participating.
2006-11-25 07:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by Barb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure hope your mom isn't going to make the pies and cake when she isn't even going to be eating there! What nerve of your SIL.
I suggest you have a dinner at your own house when your parents don't have to work. Many families have to have it early or later due to traveling, etc. Thanksgiving is just another day---we should be thankful every day.
Your sister-in-law sounds like a spoiled brat to me! Glad I don't have to spend time with her!
2006-11-21 22:24:49 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems a bit shallow and has not a clue. You can't have dinner without mom and dad, where was she born at, a pumpkin patch!!!! I would have dinner at my own home or even at my parents before they went to work, if she comes fine, if not oh well. The whole point to Thanksgiving is being with family and loved ones and sharing what you are thankful for.
2006-11-21 09:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by ladyc 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i'm so sorry. i think of you earned the main astounding to choose for to stay abode. the youngsters do no longer sound disillusioned, as long as they are able to circulate. do no longer difficulty related to the form you're perceived or what human beings will think of. once you separate each and all of the expectancy of a trip out of it (which has been inflated over the years), you're lacking dinner and a effective time at a realative's. in case you listened to his opinion in this for ten seconds, it substitute into too long. you're actually not leaving at the back of genuinely all and sundry. you have plenty to think of approximately, and if the timing is what it extremely is. If i ought to assert so, he has each little thing to do with the timing. And if he cared that plenty related to the form you and he are gave the impression to kinfolk, he would not have lifted a hand interior the 1st place.
2016-11-25 23:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that any company that makes you work on thanksgiving is pathetic. Although I can't really give you a good answer but I do understand your situation as people that work the mon-fri 9-5 don't seem to understand those of us that have to work weekends, nights and holidays. Try explaning to them again that they should think of everyone because she might be the one working next year.
2006-11-22 04:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by reallyfedup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's rude. She should modify her plans so that the parents can enjoy the meal as well. if she doesn't then you should have a separate meal where you are together with your parents. this is so childish. It's THANKSGIVING, not a pissing contest.
2006-11-21 09:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OH, FAMILY'S. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR SISTER IN LAW IS TRYING TO PULL A FAST ONE. HAVING DINNER WHEN YOUR FOLKS CAN'T BE THERE. SO SAD. YOU CAN EITHER GO OR FIX THINGS AND HAVE YOUR FOLKS OVER BEFORE THEY HAVE TO GO TO WORK. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THE THINGS FAMILY'S DO TO KEEP THINGS STIRRED UP.
2006-11-21 09:28:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋