What is the proper etiquette with Xmas gifts?

Question

This year I have limited my gift giving to my daughters, my husband, and my nieces and nephews.( because of finances) What do I do in reference to the rest of my family. Do I call them and tell them that I will not be getting them gifts? Do I just except their gifts? I am really unsure about how to handle this situation. What about my brother and sister? Every year we all get eachother gifts, this year I just can't do it! So what do I do, I know there are many people that are getting me gifts, but I am not getting them something in return. Please, how do I handle this situation?

Answer 1

If you have always exchanged gifts with these people, it's only courteous to tell them what you will be doing this year. They will probably be glad to stop the gifts, too.

If they still want to give you something, there's not much you can do about it. But to not tell them would be rude in my opinion.

Maybe next year, you could all draw names.

So get on the phone! Tell them in a nice way how it is. Have a good Christmas!

Answer 2

Ditto on the baking. Or, go to the dollar store and get some cute plates, etc. and put the cookies on them, letting the gift recievers know that they can keep the plate as well. Or, have the kids color a picture or something to send to the other relatives, and put it in a card with a picture of the family. Your family will understand. If not, then consider not sending them a card next year.

Another idea is to do a Christmas letter to put into Christmas cards, so that you can explain the finance situation in the letter, and say that your focus this Christmas will be on the kids and not on everyone else because despite your financial struggles, keeping the kids happy and unaware of financial struggles is important.

Answer 3

First of all, gifts are just that, gifts. you should not (nor should your family) expect a gift in return. A gift is something you give out of the kindness of your heart because you want to.
Now, if you want to give the others a little something, but cant afford much, do something from your heart like bake cookies, or blow up some old photos and make a little picture album. In my family we only buy for the kids, not the adults. But when I make these little trinkets, most of them are appreciative of the time I spent and the love that went into them! Good luck either way, remember Jesus is the reason for the season, not presents!

Answer 4

I'm in the same boat this year. I'm going to give either a nice homemade Christmas card to them with a letter telling them how much I love them, or maybe a baked goody.
I have also let my family know that finances are just too tight for all the gift giving, but I would love to visit or play games. I will have to just deal with them giving me gifts if they want to. I know how hard this can be, I'm there too.
Good Luck and Merry Christmas.

Answer 5

We're doing the same thing this year (as we have in years past). My husband and I buy for our kids and that's it. When we first decided to do this (a few years back) we just came out and told people what we were doing. It worked out well for us becuase whenever someone made the slightest mention of Christmas (not even present-related--they could have mentioned Christmas dinner) we'd say something like, "That reminds me--this year, we're buying only for the boys, that's it." They pretty much took the hint. Some people continued to buy us presents, some didn't.

Anyone who knows you well (close family members) should understand that finances are tight with you right now, and you've opted not to buy for the extended family. If you called anyone who normally buys for you (your aunt and uncle, let's say) and said something like, "Hi Aunt Mary. I don't mean to sound presumptuous, but please don't buy us gifts this year as you have in years past...we're buying only for our kids and nieces and nephews this year--basically kids only. If you and Uncle John bought us a gift, I'd feel badly because we won't be reciprocating." If they love you and respect you, they WILL understand.

You should feel comfortable enough with your family to tell them this, and if they have a grain of sense, they'll understand. :) I don't know many families anymore who do buy for adults, honestly. Really--we don't need anything when you think about it. (Unless you're destitute.) If I need a new sweater or bath towels or a bowl to put potpourri in, I can buy it myself, you know? The more money that's spent on the kids, the better Christmas they'll have, in my opinion. :)

Answer 6

Tough one.....I feel that Christmas is for the "kids"..not adults. Adults can get whatever they want during the other 364 days outta the year. If your a close family I'm sure everyone knows bout your situation so getting them a gift is not necessary. People prefer giving then getting..especially around this time of year... Good Luck

Answer 7

Yes, you just accept their gifts and thank them. You need never apologize for not getting gifts, but you should remember them in future or do something nice for them. Perhaps a bit of baked goods could help you in giving something. It need not be expensive and there is no reason to feel bad about it. A small plate of cookies or a loaf cake, etc. It need not be much and would help you to feel better. If you wish to explain that you are needing or wanting to cut back this year, that is enough.

Answer 8

That's tough. I'd just kind of explain it over thanksgiving if possible. Just like.. "Hey, maybe instead of us all exchanging gifts with each other, we just buy for our kids and we can each spend more on our kids."
My mother & her sister had this deal. Instead of getting gifts from my aunt and my mom having to buy gifts for my cousins, my aunt and my mother agreed to just buy gifts for their kids and not have to worry about buying for each other's kids.

The problem I have is that my sister in law has a 6 yr old who we have been buying gifts for each year because we had no children. Now, when we do have children, I'd like to put this rule into place. But how to not offend the sister in law or niece when she's been getting gifts from aunt and uncle for 5 years...

Answer 9

According to marketers the best etiquette is to spend, spend, spend. And when you run out of money, use your credit cards. Doesn't matter how deeply into debt this spending spree takes you.

The last couple of years, I have had tremendous financial trouble due to a serious accident. I asked my family not to give me gifts because I felt bad that there would be no exchange. they decided to do it anyway, disregarding my request. They were more concerned with satisfying themselves than with honoring my request. It makes me feel angry because they send me unwanted gifts. I tried returning them one year and I caused a tremendous family uproar for which they have not forgiven me.

I am sure my story doesn't help your situation, but it felt good to put it down in words.

Answer 10

I make cookies for my older family members. I buy Christmas tins and line them with gift tissue. I usually do chocolate chip, peanut butter and sugar cookies. It is amazing how many cookie you can make with only about $20.00! Remember that it is the thought that counts, not the price. You never know, they might like this idea so much that it becomes a tradition in your family.