Hello
I do not fully trust the mother of my child (she live with me , our son and her 5 yr old daughter)
I have found that she has been e-mailing a guy from work
I want to know that she is trust worthy and honest
she says it was just e-mails
It hurts me to think other but I need to know
she said she would take one
Is it a step foward or backwards?
please no jokes or bs
I really want honest answers from men and woman
thank you
muncle
2006-11-16 14:06:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honestly I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a person whom I could not trust. She needs to respect you and love you. My husband knows all about me and if I am doing something that I think he may not be okay with I always tell him immediately so he doesn't find out some other way. Maybe we have a more open relationship than others but I enjoy knowing he will not judge me and he feels like he can tell me things. If you NEED to know and your answer is a lie detector go for it. If she doesn't have a problem with it then she probably is not lying to you- but if she does have a problem with it your suspicians are accurate. I am sorry you have to be so sad right now. Perhaps threaten her with it and actually say you've made an appointment with a PI for a week or so later and see how she reacts.
2006-11-17 15:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to professional counselling (together), because something is already horribly wrong when one half of a "couple" is asking questions like this on a public forum. You clearly do not trust this lady. And the fact that she sounds happy to take a lie-detector test indicates that she's either very brazen, or that you are, in fact, being paranoid.
Ask to see the e-mails, why don't you?
2006-11-16 22:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has she given you a real reason not to trust her. What is she not allowed to do in this relationship. Why isn't she allowed to talk to guys. everyone needs friends that's part of trust. I almost ended a six year relationship because of jealousy. I would suggest you and her have a nice sit down. Maby over dinner and talk about whats going on. Two of the many main factors needed in a relationship is trust and communication. Good luck work it out and at least you know shes talking to another guy. better to find out now then to find out when it goes to far. Again good luck and be civil, the both of you.
2006-11-16 22:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by rjl2382 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are looking for validation by asking your wife to take a lie detector test, there are bigger problems in your marriage than meet the eye. Marriages are based upon trust, and if you don't have trust, I will garuntee that your marriage will eventually fail. I think, rather than spend the time and money in getting her a lie detector test, you should seek some couples counseling to get to the root of the problem. Good luck.
2006-11-16 22:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by missapparition 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth even doing any test. You have to ask yourself do you want to continue the relationship? You have to ask yourself is it worth saving and can you get pass the ups and downs? Emailing on the comp is mostly entertainment purposes. How can you two sit down and share a heart to heart to correct the small things that keeps you guessing and assuming.. Your young adults if you can't work threw the problems how can you solve a major storm? Sit down and talk.. never assume always be clear with a full understanding. RESPECT/TRUST/UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..do you have any of these things that will keep your relationship bonded and true??
Talk and learn how to work, solve and understand each other needs.
2006-11-16 22:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by M M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say. Some guys are unreasonably jealous, but many women do go for online relationships. In your case the trust is gone, and unless you get it back your life together will be hellish. I personally would install a key-logging program on her computer to see what she is really writing about. I know that seems unethical, but if she is cheating then she is being unethical anyway, and if she is not cheating then you can know you can trust her and all your lives will be better.
2006-11-16 22:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Julian A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think there is a severe trust issue in this relationship, and maybe instead of consulting a lie detector test (which even people who lie can succeed on) you should be considering couples therapy.
2006-11-16 22:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by novelwyrm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot trust your mate's word, something is wrong with your relationship. Maybe the 2 of you need to have a serious conversation about your relationship and where it's going.
2006-11-16 22:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by Steph L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u know what sit down and talk to her... be honest with her.. if she has nothing to hide then she should be able to show u the emails she is getting and sending him.. she should have no reason to hide what she is doing if their is nothing more then emails. u know what i mean... so try talking to her... now if she starts to hide things or dont wanna show u .. no need for lie detecter test... then i would say let her go.. cause she dont love u or care for u like she says....so i ts all up to u ..
2006-11-16 22:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by ricki20042001 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this with my husband. It turned out he was just emailing her. You have to ask yourself if you trust her, If your not sure ask her if you can trust her. From there it's up to her response to decide what to do.
God Bless
2006-11-16 22:45:37 · answer #10 · answered by DeAnna 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋