Hi my name is ashley I am only 22 and am already so frustrated with life I am married and have two children one who is one and a half and the other will soon be 3, my kids are great but at a difficult age and I have noone to turn to I turn to my mother and she just says I should appreciate them and I do but my husband dosent help AT ALL he works 2nd shift and overtime some in a transmission shop and thinks he dosent have to do ANYTHING at home he dosent take "good" care of the kids on the days I work 1st shift he gets them up at 1 o clock in the afternoon feeds them and changes them when I get home I do ALL of the house work down to the trash up to the laundry and I take full care of the kids Im the only one who bathes them but he says his job just wears him out so I decided to start them in daycare which my mother says is selfish I should stay home with them because thats what my husband wants and thats what our kids need so hes doing whatever he can to try to force me to stay home..
2006-11-16 13:23:17 · 5 answers · asked by Ashley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm an old fashion kind of mother and believe that you should stay home with the kids, only if you can afford to do so. As for hubby not helping, go on strike with everything but taking care of the kids. He will learn about all the things that need to be done and will probably start pitching in.
2006-11-16 13:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your frustration. Just relax, make time for yourself. that is the most important thing to do. Force your husband to help you. Ask him and make him do it. Tell your mom you need help. Get your mom to sit or your husband when he's home, just walk out the door for a few hours! Get your nails done, get a massage, go to the mall. You just need a break and time away from the kids.
Do you have a friend you can go out with? Call her up and have lunch with her, go for a few drinks. Fit YOU time in any way you know how. You need to for your sanity. And hang in there, they are only this young for a short time. Relax and enjoy your babies. So what if all the housework doesn't get done. Let some of it go and just walk out the door, take the kids, go somewhere and get fresh air...and remember, make time for yourself.
good luck
2006-11-16 21:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you.I have four kids.When my last was born I had a 4,3,1
year old plus my newborn.I was raised old fashioned and I believed that a mother should stay home and raise her children.
That is what I did.I also had a husband that was too busy and too
selfish to help with his children.
So,while he was working and out having a good time,I took care of my children.From my own experience let me give you this one
thought.I didn't follow it but I pray that you do.
To take care of your children you must first take care of yourself.
If you neglect yourself,where are you gonna find the energy to take care of your babies?
You are young but you are still an adult and though I am sure your mother is only trying to help,do what is best for you and your children.Nobody knows better than you what they need and who
knows what you need better than yourself?
2006-11-16 21:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard i know i know how you feel. I have 3 kids and a husband who put in a hard day and i do love him for that but i don't get the help either and when life stuffs up I'm the one that made it wrong and do every thing in my power to **** it if he thinks and now i have found out that he if having some piglet on line who he has fallen in love with and they are lovers {how on line i don't know] he spends so much time sending her porn on line and talking to her and the rest of the s--t piglet dam do. we have been married 10 years this year and my kids are 8 and 6 {twins} so i feel what you do as it falls in my lap as well. so if he loves you and you love him and you r in love that talk is the best thing you can do and talk to him on his
and time r hard and they will get better as the kids get older. As long as you keep talking to each other and listen to each other all the time. i cant tell you how important talk and listening to each other is. good luck
2006-11-16 21:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Raylene M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put them in daycare and go find a job or something show your husband u dont need him. If he wants u to stay locked in the house and be unhappy then u need to talk. Marriage shouldnt seem like u are controlled. My marriage is rocky to but I try to deal with it on the inside cause I gave up. Dont give up show them u can be somebody to.
2006-11-17 03:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by imthemomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋