When is it bad etiquette to correct someone's english?

Question

In which social circumstances would it be rude to correct someone else's poor english?

I'm asking in terms of using words out of context, incorrect spelling, mispronunciation, bad grammar and such.

Answer 1

It's rude to correct someone in front of others, but if you are their friend, do it privately and kindly. This will keep them from sounding ignorant the next time. (I can hear people reaching for the computer mouse to give me thumbs' down). If I mispronounced something horribly, I would want my friends to tell me so I would not make the same mistake twice.

Answer 2

Like someone else, I, too, have noticed that people that pick apart everyone's grammar, spelling, and punctuation are really just trying to inflate their own importance at the expense of others. As much as they gripe and moan about how bad everyone's language is, they would probably be disappointed if everyone suddenly started talking and writing as if they had just been yanked out of some old British drama. However, I'm sure they would soon find some other way to tear everyone else down to bring themselves up.

Can't you tell that I hate grammar nazis?

Besides, no one is perfect. Even the grammar snobs will make a few errors from time to time.

So, I would say that unless you are a teacher or a parent, let the person say "ain't," "ya'll," "he don't do this," and other such things. And if you are in a position to correct someone (i.e. a teacher or parent), then do it tactfully and privately.

Oh...I was reading through a messge board once, and someone said that his whole family makes it a point to get together and read through magazines, newspapers, and such just to look for grammatical mistakes. Now, how pathetic is that?

Answer 3

I agree with the second answerer. If I am talking to someone and they make a comment about the form of what I said, rather than the content, that makes me feel like they weren't really listening.

Perhaps if the person had asked you to correct him/her ahead of time, it would be okay.

Also, as a language teacher, I feel it's okay to correct my students from time to time. However, the type of correction you give and whether or not these corrections actually help the students is still an important research question.

Answer 4

It's bad when the person is not asking for the information, because it becomes just an unsolicited opinion. If you are a supervisor, and it is affecting the business by the way they speak to people, then maybe H.R. should have a talk with them or educate them further.
In the real world as a whole, we just have to be tolerant or ignore something we see but can't change for other people.

Answer 5

The very heart of ettiquette is making people feel comfortable, or put another way, to prevent them from feeling any discomfiture. In professional settings and most social settings, it would be embarrassing to be corrected. So one should refrain if at all possible from the temptation to correct others.

The only exception to this that occurs to me is if someone has misspoken himself in a way that makes people think he means the opposite of the point he was making, and they are about to okay something they would not if he had spoken correctly and everyone got his precise point. This wouldn't happen often, but it could, I suppose.

Answer 6

Unless you are an English teacher and the person in question is your student, or they have specifically asked you to correct their English, it is ALWAYS rude to correct someone's English. It is most especially rude if they weren't speaking to you and if you understood what they meant. It's a major faux pas if you correct them in front of other people, because this is inflicting public humiliation on them.

If you do not understand what someone who is speaking to you is saying, you may politely ask them to repeat what they said, and to ask them to speak more slowly, or more clearly, or more loudly. This should be done with tact, and every effort should be made to avoid embarassing the person. Try to think how you would feel if you were in the other person's place.

Most people who spell badly or use bad grammar and so forth are aware that they aren't paragons of English language. If they want help, they will ask for it; if they don't ask you for help, it is not polite to force it on them. It is my experience that most people who publicly correct other people's pronounciation, grammar, and so forth are usually trying to pat themselves on the back rather than help the person they are correcting. In some cases there is active malice involved, an attempt to publicly humiliate the person being corrected by drawing attention to their problem.

Answer 7

It would be rude when it embarasses or humilates the other person in any way. Etiquette is about making everyone feel comfortable.
It is appropriate, however, when their meaning is so unclear as to cause communication problems. It's best to frame your correction with"
"I think what George is trying to say is X, is that right, George?" or "You mean X, not Y, right?"
or by using the mispronounced word correctly in your reply:
"Care for a *horz-de-vere*, Sally?"
"Why yes, I'd love an *or-durve*, George."

In general, the best way to teach is by inspiring others with your good example.

Answer 8

You don't want to embarass or offend anyone so go easy on the corrections. Still I myself would appreciate being corrected but of course the correction needs to be 100% correct.
For example: the word respite should be pronounced as rhyming with the word spit and not the word spite.

Answer 9

Unless you are an English teacher, and the other person is your student, it is ALWAYS bad ediquette to correct soembody else's spelling, mispronunciation, grammar ect. It comes off as arrogant, condescending and rude - and it hurts the other person's feelings

Answer 10

I think never. Who sinned first? Them! So you get to cast the first stone. Take no prisoners! That "let it go, man" philosophy is why so many people these days speak and write like apes. I carry Strunk & White on me at all times and I have no compunction about shoving another person's nose in it or just plain giving 'em a good thump on the melon with it.