I dont know how he will handle me being a cop and all hes the type that calles me and when im in a public area like train, bus
ect. he will stay on the phone untill i get home not all the time but he does it. i know to be a cop mean to be dedicated! even if i come home 4am i just dont know how to let his mind at ease...help!
2006-11-12 11:12:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
My wife is the same way and Im about to become one. Look, nothing is going to change him, he is who he is. It seems that hose of us who gravitate toward this life also attract people who are over-protective. Be happy you have someone who loves you enough to care about you're safety. Be happy you have someone who will make sure you're kids wont become hellions, and the kind of people you will have to arrest (Ive seen it before... nothing, NOTHING is more embarrasing than having youre kids arrested as a cop). What specifically is he afraid of? It could be anything. If its the violence, cite to him the statistics... being a police officer in this country is alot safer than many other occupations, including Taxi Driver. NYc is a great police city, safest big city in the US. Of course, no amountof statistics is going to satisfy some, so you just have to keep reassuring him.
Reassure him he will always come first. In my experience, this is ALWAYS the thing most are worried about. Yes, the job is demanding. Not so bad as the military, but, you know, its up there. Many jobs these days are just as bad, tho, like accountant (my roomate in college was an accountant, and I didnt see him for like 3 months during the season). Yes, there will be plenty of overtime. But the family must always come first, and you need to feel this, and he needs to know this. If you do not feel this, DO NOT ***REPEAT*** DO NOT become a police officer. This job WILL eat you alive if you dont prioritize, and police burnout is the number one problem among departments, always has been.
Is he worried about the much-publicized divorce rate? Fear not. Statistically, divorce is no more likely to occur in a police family than any family these days. As a matter of fact, studies show that police families (like military families) that can make it the first three years are statistically MUCH less likely to break up (hardship only makes strong people stronger). To close, I have some info for you. There is a book called "I Love A Cop". It is the best resource ever written for police families. It can be purchased at most major book stores, but heres a link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-8726546-3760744?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=i+love+a+cop.
This book changed my life. In addition, there are many police spouse web sites out there. Do some reearch, never stop reassuring, and you'll get there. Goof luck on you're career choise, thank you for making this sacrifice, and God Bless!
2006-11-12 11:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by darthhk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been in law enforcement for a little while now and I know that your husband is not going to like your schedule as a police officer. If law enforcement is what you desire, you are going to have to talk to him about easing up. If he can't and you really want to be a cop you will have to chose between your happiness and your marraige. If your husband truly loves you, he will make an effort to give you some slack. You only live this life once, living it to its fullest is an important factor in how happy you will be when it gets close to the end and you look back.
Good Luck with your future and Carpe Diem!
2006-11-12 15:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by me_laub 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between caring and control. You have your own goals in life and they should all be open for discussion because what you or your husband does in life and occupations affects the family unit. When all is said and done no one owns you, but wanting to become a Police Officer is not a single decision when and if you qualify and pass the written tests, they will ask him what he thinks about it. Keep that in mind.
2006-11-12 11:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by John E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest working on my grammer & spelling before you "wanna" become a NYPD officer.
The force won't accept grade 2 english & you certainly won't pass the written test with that grammer.
On the other hand, go to the NYPD offical website and print out information such as what the job involves and show your husband to assure him that it's a job that you truly want and you would appreciate his support.
Make sure you & your partner know what your getting yourself into.
Good Luck.
2006-11-12 12:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
His mind will never, ever be at ease. I lived with a guy who was a cop and I never ceased to worry about him. There is nothing you can say to make him not worry. He just has to accept your job as a part of you and learn to live with and around it. He's never going to stop being anxious though.
2006-11-12 11:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your problem, it's his.
Although one problem I see of yours is your English "skillz." You might want to work on that if you're going to be a cop.
I guess if you want to help him out, you can set him up in a relaxing meditation group or something.
2006-11-12 11:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out. Convince him against his misgivings; reassure him But don't stake the protective partnership.
2006-11-12 11:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by Truth ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm yea he sound over protected....but did u knew that cops havea right rate of divorce?
2006-11-12 14:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
then become a police officer and tell him ull be fine
2006-11-12 11:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by jenhockey24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead he will be ok.
2006-11-12 15:01:55 · answer #10 · answered by Meeto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋