My mum and dad have been together for 20 years now and they always have problem in the relationship. My mum is 38 and my dad is 49 and we are 4 children in the family one 7, 13,17,4 months baby. The problem is my dad has been drinking for 13 years now and were we are living now my mum and dad has a double bed and everytime wehn my dad is drunk, he will piss on the new bed they brouth, he has done it many times. My dad also never respect my dad he has nevere broth something for my mum when he also not he will just buy something for £1 pants or perfume. One day i have ask my dad why he is drinking he say becouse my mum dont wan to sleep with him I think that makes no sense, My mum say she dont have any feeling for sex anymore i dont know why. This problem has been for many year now , I done know what to do about it, thye fight everytime and no respect for each other i got a brother he is 13 he also done respect my mum I done know what to do please help me.
2006-11-10 09:13:52 · 7 answers · asked by Ram1989 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Family counseling, and some alcohol classes for your father. Research those options.
2006-11-10 09:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes down to it, your parents will never give you the real reason as to why they fight or why the drinking started.
One thing I know for sure is that alcoholics lie to try to justify their drinking.
You need to get some help, family councelling is a start but your dad needs to join an AA group, things will never be the same as long as he is dependent on alcohol.
Your mum needs to give your dad an ultimatum to choose between the drink and his family. I know it will be hard but in a way your mum is aiding his addiction, she has gotten to such a low point that the only option she feels she has leftis to get the arguement over and done with and then just leave him to his own devices. She also either needs to ask him to leave (with or without the use of an escort, such as the police) or find another place for you all to go.
Your dad will not change unless he has a reason to and at the minute he is having his cake and enjoying every single minute eating it.
I'm sorry for sounding so harsh but alcoholism is a self inflicted illness, there is nomedical cure for it, the only cure for it is for the person to get their life sorted out and "kiss the bottle goodbye". It's the only chance your family will have of ever getting back to normal.
As for your brother, if he doesn't get away from your dad now, you will see the exact same thing happening in his marriage in years to come. I feel so sorry for the women in the relationships he will have, he doesn't know how to treat women properly and this is your dads fault.
Your mum needs all the support she can get at the minute, if your aunts and uncles know what is going on try to get them to help out as much as possibly. You mum needs help getting the strnegth to say enough is enough.
2006-11-10 09:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by debs1701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drinking alcohol to excess can cause all sorts of problems - it is a bad habit and it so very hard to break. When things are calm at home you could perhaps share with your Mum & Dad how you are feeling. It would be good if there was a close relative there as well, such as grandparents or a very good friend. Is there anyone you could confide in who would be able to help you as there are many organisations that will provide help if it would be accepted.
It is an awful situation you find yourself in but do stay strong, keep close to your siblings and learn and determine that your adult life will not be the same.
Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-11-10 09:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through this, it must be hard for you and the whole family. Not sure if you can do anything really as it is between them. You can but support them. Maybe you could let them know how this is affecting you and the other children and suggest that they get some help, at least for the kids sake. Good luck.
2006-11-10 09:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother doesn't respect your mom because of how he has seen your dad deal with her.
Your mom doesn't have sexual feelings for you dad because she feels like he doesn't respect her as a woman or friend. Most women need to feel a mental connection with a man before she can have romantic feelings for him. It must be that he has been disrespectful to her.
Your father drinks because he is not happy, but he has to realise that the way he deals with your mom is the contributing factor to everyone's unhappiness. They need to go to an objective marriage counselor to work out their problems. I hope they can find a happy medium.
Good luck!
2006-11-10 09:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly R. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you poor love...................
Your dad has major issues that probably stem from before you were even born and he needs to face up to them rather than trying to drink his problems away...............
You can't make things better your mum is the only one that can do that she needs to get strong and stand up to him, just let her know how much you love her.................
You shouldn't be dealing with this at your age bless you
As for your brother he is just copying his role model which is your father so he does not know any different, try and talk to him and get him on your side and your mums.........
Honestly love there is nothing u can do to make things better, its you mum that can
Good luck I wish you all the best xx
2006-11-10 09:22:30 · answer #6 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jus pray to god every night and things will b better trust me i went threw the same thin with my parents then i started prayin
2006-11-10 09:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by jaijay34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋