Why do people who have a baby think I might be interested?

Question

Is there anything more annoying than colleagues, or even total strangers, who parrade their screaming, puking, crapping, bald headed, fat, wrinkly offspring like it's some sort of passport to supremecy?

Why can't you get it through your thick, breeding obsessed heads that I find this practice nauseating and annoying. I do not think your child is cute, adorable, remotely interesting, or, frankly, hygeinic.

What do you wnat me to say - congratulations, you managed to have sex a few months back?

Why do people feel the need to be drawn into this disgusting huddle of drool and strange noises whenever a sprogg is brought into the room? Surely they've seen one before - and let's face it, you've seen on and you've seen them all, haven't you? It's not as though they're going to break into song, recite Shakespeare or bend you over and give you a good fisting, is it?

What is wrong with you people? Can't you just keep your grubby little sproggs at home?

Ooh, looks like I pressed the wrong button here!

Once again, the sledgehammer of sarcasm fails to break through - it's not anger, it's over guilding the lilly to show I am laughing at my own expense...

Thanks to all who pointed out that I was once a baby myself. This was quite a startling discovery for me and I have been sat in my thinking corner all morning dealing with this revelation.

Thanks also to the two or three who appreciated the effort I expended in weaving the humour into this serious point.

To the various complete strangers who - for reasons best known to themselves - believe that I will at some unknown point in the future undergo complete personality change and decide I do want kids after all, I ask only, "what possible reason could you have for believing this, since this anti baby tirade is the only thing you know of me?" Believe it or not, I am an educated man with considerable life experience. I have made a quite deliberate decision not to have kids.

Answer 1

now, hold on ..... i have two kids and i happen to agree with some of what u say!! i think it is really rude for coworkers ( for example ) to disrupt the work of everyone within earshot by showing off their cute little ( screaming and snot-blowing ) kid. older kids are even worse and it is NOT cute when they mess up your desk or throw your stapler away or pour your coffee in your lap for you.... etc etc even if you have kids, there's a reason you dont bring them to the office or to your favorite quiet restaurant. there is a time and a place.

that is showing a lack of concern for others in my opinion... and yes its annoying, and yes it is rude.

Answer 2

As much as I dislike screaming children I find well behaved children fascinating. The other day I was on a plane and a 4 year old kid was so amazed when he looked out of the window - I can't even remember the last time I was amazed. Then again the month before that I was on a 14 hour flight with 3 or 4 screaming babies on the row in front of me (so no rest for 14 hours then).
Anyway if I have kids they will be well behaved and clean and I will be the best dad ever - in fact my kids will be so well behaved that people will pay to see how behaved they are and all the parents of filty screaming kids will come to me to ask for my sage advice - oh yes.
I think the reason why people like to show off their kids is because they arev fascinated by them as they are kind of both hobby and a pet at the same time.

Answer 3

Did your mother not hug you when you were a child or something?

Grow up! I personally think the reason you are so negative and hateful towards other peoples choices is because you have realized that A child is a happiness you probably will never have, and quess what buddy, that attitude won't get you very far.

What you are suggesting is that people leave their children at home and not bring them out into the world, forcing them into seclusion like Anne Frank hiding from the Nazi's...

I personally think you are an idiot, and just trying to draw attention to yourself, and quite frankly I don't understand why anyone would want to bring their children around you at all.

Answer 4

Your mother did not think you were a nasty, pukey, smelly little horror when you were tiny, and I bet she thought you were the eighth wonder of the world. She did not keep you cooped up in your home and hide you from the public eye because you were plump, hairless or wrinkly.
Nobody has asked you to kiss and cuddle their baby, drool over it, or do anything that repells you. You are free to be detached and turn the other way.
This repulsion is a single man thing. Just you wait till the day when you have a child. I can guarantee you will feel very differently then.

Answer 5

Theres nothing wrong with having a ''baby phobia'' not everyone has to ooh and ahhh over a baby.
People are proud of their babies so because MOST people ooh and ahh over babies, they cant know that you dont like them.
Personally I find it sad that you have this mean streak for people who are happy and want the world to know about their new family member.
We were all babies. Babies are gross but they are new life that will grow into adult human beings like you.
Hopefully they will get enough love to actually enjoy other peoples happiness OR they will have grown into people who become annoyed easily and need anger managment classes.
I would be curious why you dont express your hatred for babies in front of the parents since you feel so strongly?
Also , I have seen other questions from you and you are right you would be a terrible father, I know that makes you glad to hear.
Its a good thing you realise this.

Answer 6

I totally agree. I feel this every time I go out and am at the supermarket and some mother is looking at me to see if I am looking at her child out of admiration. It happened today and I just looked away as I am totally not interested. I wish no one any malice I am just not interested solely because there are things going on in this world which are of far greater concern to me: world poverty, oppression, etc. etc

I happen to have a child [ I would never have any more kids] and was never like this. All I can say is there is a saying in the Caribbean [where my mum is from] which is: "Everybody's monkey is their idol".... Enough said!!!

Answer 7

Ah! Just stay away from them - that's the answer!

I'm sure you won't miss not visiting, meeting with, or talking to any of these people. Just keep away and chill out.

No, you don't have to like kids, parents or anyone else - there's no law to say you should, and there is certainly no law which says you have to spend your time in surroundings you find thoroughly unpleasant.

Cheer up!

Answer 8

This is common with nearly all, it may not be just children though. Some think others should be interested in their dogs, cars, houses jobs..........the list goes on. Children at least show new humanity taking shape. If annoyed, simply nod, smile and be civil. I find the cars, houses, other inanimate object brigade; Obnoxious .

Answer 9

I don't like screaming yelling smelly kids either. And -yes- proud parents cannot force me to enjoy their kids.

But I have no respect or pitty for anyone who yells on this site, instead of speaking out loud in public. You know what, stop bothering us here, we're trying to have fun. This is as annoying as a crying baby.

:-p

Answer 10

Plain and simple - Because people who have children (I'm having my first in 1 week) believe their children are the most beautiful and most special baby in the whole world.