I've been thinking about this for years and it's driving me crazy. I've even been to theropy about it - no help! I really started thinking about girls when I was in hight shcool. I had one bi friend that I was really attracted to, but never did anything with. Since then, I've kissed a girl and sucked on one's boobs (at a strip club). I've been married 3 times. I love my husband, but I think about women a lot. The problem is... I don't WANT to be bi or lesbian. I have 2 kids and I don't want to raise them like that. Am I just curious, or am I denying who I really am?
2006-11-08 02:51:20 · 19 answers · asked by zaniest1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
To add more info... I do not have a problem being monogamous. My first husband cheated on me and my second one... well, it was a mistake. I've talked to my husband about my feelings and that's how I ended up in theropy. No, he does NOT want to share me with another woman. He hates the fact that I like women.
2006-11-08 03:14:17 · update #1
And yes, I think about more than just the sexual part of the relationship with a woman. I think about how it would be to love a woman. To talk to a woman like that...
2006-11-08 03:15:50 · update #2
And... I'm not a person to "try it out" now and then. I'm a one person woman. I don't cheat and male or female, that's cheating!
2006-11-08 03:18:03 · update #3
well i think there a line bewteen being bisexual and being attracted to other women, my ex girl loved men, wasnt bisexual, but she loved messing around with girls, and i sure didnt complain, because we did it together, so i think your just attracted to other females, and theres nothing wrong with that
2006-11-08 02:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that based on your story of three marriages & strip club adventures you are Bi rather than Lesbian. The problem is that even if you don't want to be, sexual orientation is one of the most significant influences in our lives. It defines who we are. You & only you can determine if this a fantacy or is it reality. Don't let guilt & remorse govern your future. If we cannot be true to ourselves then we can't be true to anyone. Now is the time to find & adjust to the real you. Many relationships survive a Bi sexual partner. It all depends on the understanding of both parties. Self denial is destructive to all parties involved. It is impossible to find contentment in life without living & being who we truly are.
Good Luck
2006-11-08 03:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Diablo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the male equivalent of you. I have fought against the sexual attraction I had for my own gender for years and it was only when I realized that God made me this way and it was OK did I become able to live in peace and be happy.
I waited till I was 40 years to finaly come to terms with my being bisexual I am married and in for a very rough ride becuase of the kids. My wife and I are staying together for the sake of the kids. and it is working so far.
2006-11-08 03:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone have those feelings, just some are stronger than other es. I've always had those feelings about men and boys when I was younger. At times they get the upper hand I have to go with the flow. However there is nothing better than a good lady as well.
2006-11-08 03:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by ranchforman57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be denial. But I am not Dear Abby. A few things you can do. Try it with a close or not so close friend. More therapy. Get as far away from it as possible. Like no more strip clubs.
Whatever you decide, good luck.
2006-11-08 02:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by FB16 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your yahoo id suits you(: I agree with Diablo's answer. Maybe you should try it out with a friend who is going through the same thing and that you might never see again after it's over...just to see if you like it(: You can't really choose who you really are inside. You can choose to act on it or not. Maybe you really just need to try it to get it out of your system. I couldn't get over my feelings of my ex-hubby until I finally just called him up and talked to him and realized I missed the idea of us and the way we were in the beginning, I didn't actually miss him. Things can drive us crazy if we just let our minds wander on the possibilities.
2006-11-08 03:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by poppywest1223 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be bi but also monogamous. I'm sure there are lots of men you're attracted to, but don't have sex with. So you can acknowledge that you're attracted to women but not sleep with them.
But then, you've been married 3 times, which means you probably have a problem with staying monogamous. There's your problem, not your bisexuality.
2006-11-08 03:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Steven S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being something or someone is almost a lifestyle. You do not live like that and you don't want to live like that, but so now and than you want to fulfill those feelings a/o fantasies, so just do it and thats about it. There is nothing wrong with "so now and then", just like "occasional drinker of smoker". Life is too short!
2006-11-08 02:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Renato R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mate. you are bi. or even a lesbian. do you get turned on by men. in the same way?
simple really, don't let the head get in the way, just relax and see what turns you on.
sounds like social pressures are holding you back.
the other one is to go and pay for it. sounds seedy but at least you will find out whether you like it or not.
the other crafty way to get around it, is ask your husband what his darkest fantasies are. i bet you he wouldn't say no to another woman being in his bed with you.
good luck (remember! lesbians make good truckers)
2006-11-08 03:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by russ 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the sake of your kids you have to give up girls and stick with your husband. Humans aren't animals to just give in to their desires...you can make a choice. You can chose to be selfish or you can choose to do the right thing and keep your family together. This may not be what you want to hear but its the truth. Humans make sacrifices for those they truly love...and no one spends their entire lives happy, that's impossible. For those telling you to be true to yourself, even pedophiles are just being 'true to themselves'
2006-11-08 03:21:25 · answer #10 · answered by keg 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋