This man walks into a bar and sits down, asks the bartender: "Gimme a double shot of your finest wiskey"...
The bartender immediatly saw that the man ad no intentions on paying... "You have any money on ya?" said the bartender...
"No but I'll do anything you want... anything...! I need a drink! I've not had one for days now!"
"OK" said the bartender, "I'll give you your drink if you drink the spittoon (that where they spit their tobbaco drippings and stuff).
"Sure..! Anything..!" said the man... and started to gulp down on the 2 gallon sized spittoon that had been sitting there for more than 2 weeks...
They all cheered and clapped, until they saw that the man was not stopping, we kept going, gulping it down, they all pleaded him to stop, most of them just lost their stomach right there. Finally the bartender knocked the vase from his hands and the man finally took a breath, and said: "Sorry, I tried to stop, BUT IT WAS ALL IN ONE LONG STRING!!"
2006-10-20 07:56:22 · 21 answers · asked by Marty K 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL!!!!!!!
2006-10-20 07:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's aweful! lol Here's another:
It was entertainment night at the senior center and
the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.
People came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room,
he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two
or three people up here to be put into a trance, I
intend to hypnotize each and every member of the
audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude
withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his
coat"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique
watch.
It's a very special watch.
It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth
while quietly chanting, Watch the watch, watch the
watch, watch the watch."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed
back and forth, light gleami ng off its polished
surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying
watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking
into a hundred pieces.
"CR*P!" said the Hypnotist.
It took five days to clean up the senior center
2006-10-20 07:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dark Spirit you should have posted that one!! Really cute, also caught the multicultural jokes, like you said a good joke is a good joke, take for what it is worth!
2006-10-20 08:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by Pretty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man that was funny... gortesckly funny.
I got one too:
This little boy comes down for breakfast and asks his grandma, "where is mommy and daddy?"
she replys by saying they are still in there room.
The little boy giggles and runs outside to play.
At luch he comes home and asks his grandma, "where's mommy and daddy?"
she says, "they are still in their room."
he laughs and then goes outside to play.
At dinner time the little boy sits down to eat, and again asks,"where's mommy and daddy?"
His grandma sais (almost annoyed), "they are still up in their room"
The little boy starts histarically laughing, and the grandma is quite annoyed, so she asks, "how come everytime I tell you that your mommy and daddy are up in their room, you laugh?"
The little boy replied, "because last night i switched daddy's special lotion with super glue."
hehehehehehehe
2006-10-20 08:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 12:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by vanderbilt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
took me a while 2 get that one that the other person posted about the hypnotist... :D hahaha quite funny
2006-10-20 08:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by just_a_metaphor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, i just grabbed a peice of pizza from the fridge, I guess I will go put it back now!=)
2006-10-20 07:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretty sick. Still kinda funny.
2006-10-20 08:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by meisa777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Old joke but still gross.
Can you say "Cuspidor?"
2006-10-20 07:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by Saffernellie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, that was funny >_<
2006-10-20 07:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL that was funny!
2006-10-20 07:58:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋