What do you think so far?

Question

What do you think to this story

Hasn't been finnished and has some spelling mistakes i will sort out later.


Matthew MitchellTime keepers : A impossible world09/10/06
The year 51,369; July 15th 15:36 in our time : CBCU Troops have finally arivied on the planet scarc. They got past the space battle with ease but are low in resources. Their mission – to destroy the main city of the evil scarcs. CBCU quickly come to realise that they have underestimated the scarc’s army and defences. The planet scarc is almost impossible to live on. The only way an organism to survive on this sandy planet is for them to be silicon based. CBCU had given their troops speial suits to see and survive in the hot climate and windy sand storms. The intelligent life forms, scarc’s, have left this planet to create an empire.
A spy team have entered the scarc to find reference of where the scarcs have spread to. The spies have been caught and must be found and taken away so the scarcs have no

resource to the galatic empire and the humans can use what information the spies have retrieved against the scarcs.
CBCU squadrons 5A-D and 6D-P all land in acircle around spawiskh, pronounced Spa-rish, the capital city of the scarcs. 5,000 troops fail to make the landing so the other 10’000 must advance on their own.
“This is the commander of 5B1 unit,” said the commander into his transmitter, “Advancing to the pipe systems.”
The idea was most of the men would be used to create a false attack allowing squad 5B1 to enter Spawisk’s main centre undetected.
In this unit were the best of the best. Unlke all other units this one only contained 10 people. 5 of them were mutands and the most powerful of them all was jaki un keno. His powers allowed him to live in harsh environments. This gave him a huge advantage. On the planet scac he is able to see almost as clear as in earth and needs no suit.
The squad sprints towards an easy place to enter the sewers. This is very difficultt

as they have limited vision, the terrain is jagged and slippery because of the muddy sand and they could easily be bombed with a powerful atom fisson bomb that could be seen as bright lights making the sands sprinkle in the air.
Using the infa red and fa sensors the unit spots the sewer contamination filter where they can sneek into the sewers. They aim and kill all five scarcs around the area with ease, but suddenly, there is a problem the contamination filter blows with intense force. Four troops are killed and suffer a painful death as bits of the building fly into their bodies.
“Lets go now!” screams the commander with no consideration for the injured. they make way into a pipe from a small gap and feel a lot better as the noise of the battlefield evapourates.
“Jadi, if we die you are a great friend” says Jon Lunarstar to the mutant as the unit run along the pipe. Jadi opens his mouth to say something just when BOOM as a splash of heat and light come over the team. Jon turns

around avoids a few flying rocks and takes a look at his blown up friend. With a hugh bag of strength he turns his back on his friend and joins the squad to complete the mission of hell.

There is more but adding details is getting a pain.

If you are too lazy to read it this is a summary.

Evil scarcs are invaded by humans in the scarcs main planet to save some people.
Thats a quick summary

Answer 1

sry.its too much!

Answer 2

Sounds like a good story; you do need a little more backup info. about your story.

Maybe you can hook up with some sci-fi writers and do some workshopping on your stories. That would really be neat.

Answer 3

I'm sorry. That is WAY too long. I'm too lazy to read all of that. Think shorter next time.

Answer 4

I'm too lazy to read all that.

Answer 5

pretty decent writing i might say

interesting topic!