Am i wasting my time with my boyfriend. He is an atheist and I'm a catholic. I want to get married in a catholic church. He barely even wants to go for the being married in a "church" let alone catholic church thing. And he said in the beginning of our relationship he would want to have kids someday. Now recently he decided hes not sure. I know I def want to have kids someday. These two things are both really important to me. What should i do?
2006-09-30 17:17:04 · 28 answers · asked by jackiejunebug 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
talk to a priest in your catholic church,he will give you the right answer to that question,but i realy don't think it would be good for the two of you and the kids,nothing personal i hope you know what i mean?
2006-09-30 17:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by what is the good word? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, in fact I'm probably the furthest from, but I do know a few things (probably from watching too much Dr. Phil). #1) Marriage is about compromises. I'm sure you've heard this before, but remind him of that. Tell him that you know he is an atheist, but it would really mean a lot if you would get married in a catholic church, and if he asks why, tell him that you're belief should be reason enough. #2) Marriage is a lot of work. This is both a good thinf, and a bad thing. It is good, because let's say that he has an aweful habit that you want to change, let's use leaving the toilet seat up, over time, and with several reminders (not nagging, that makes it worse) he will come to change. Now the bad thing about this principle is that it works both ways. I'm sorry, but that's the best advice I can give because I'm a guy myself, and that's just my thoughts on the matter.
2006-10-01 00:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by donohoeson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Your being too heavy.Like a lot of men He sounds laid back.It could be worse ,He could be a Muslim or Jewish etc.If He gets married to You in Your church then He is showing compromise,and agreeing to any children You both have being brought up Catholic.He said one day He wanted children.I f Your both young then most men aren`t going to be thinking 'kids'.Give the relationship time.My grand-parents were ,Her-Catholic,Him-protestant(they were married til death),kids brought up Catholics;my parents are Her-Catholic,dad-protestant,and their still married(my brothers and sister are not Catholics though,and my mum doesn`t go to Church),point here is as long as You want Your kids being brought up in the faith and He goes along with it ,what`s the problem?Work round it.He`s compromising.
Second thoughts-He`d better be prepared 4 kids coz aren`t You not supposed to take contraception !???
2006-10-01 00:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by JULIA E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a couple having the same faith is VERY important, of else it would lead to problems like yours now. I respect your faith, and i hope you stick to your faith because it is part of you. Do not compromise your faith for him, if you let him get his way of not getting married in a church, when you two are man and wife, he might expect more of your sacrifices with regards to your faith. It's gonna be a long battle.
If you feel that he is never gonna accept Christ, then i think you should reconsider being with him.
As for the kids issue, good that you two discussed this before marriage to realise the differences you two have. i think he's not meant for you if you two have different views about having kids.
Think through it, whether he is the right guy, if not, move on.
Good Day.
2006-10-01 00:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by riffee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a serious conversation with him. How long have you two been together? And are these reasons you'd really want to leave him? Think hard about relationship problems before making such a drastic decision. If you've both been together a long time, then there's always room for compromise to come up with a good and thoughtful conclusion. If it hasn't been a long time, then maybe you could just wing it for a while and cross that bridge later!
2006-10-01 00:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by Athena R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Drop him. The church thing is important to you and having children; most people don't change their attitude towards those things, you need to raise the children catholic. I am not a catholic but have enough friends who are. It's not going to work.
2006-10-01 00:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Sounds like he is having many second thoughts about everything and its better to know it now then to be married, with kids when he decides this isnt for him.
Sit him down and be truthful. Find out what he wants because you dont want to be a single mother abnd tell him that
2006-10-01 00:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by eddie9551 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are actually wasting time by even asking or thinking these kind of questions. If you love him and you want to marry him, nothing should come between you. If he is not important to you more than the two things you have mentioned then look elsewhere.
2006-10-01 00:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by nice guy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wish people would give their ages with their questions. How far off would the marriage be ? Two ? Five? Ten years from now ? .. If you are still really young ... I wouldn't worry about it too much.. just have fun and enjoy the relationship for what it is. Good Luck! :)
2006-10-01 00:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wake up to reality.There is no magic in the sky or evil with horns down under ,where ever that is. Its just us here.You will tell your kids someday not to be afraid to go to sleep because there isn't a monster under the bed.Then on Sunday you will tell him there is a monster down under somewhere that will get him for eternity if he is bad ????.
2006-10-01 00:22:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋