HELP!!! I have a good job, may become a single mother, and no family to help me.?

Question

I need to arange something like fast and i have no ideas. Im ready to get away from my drunkin husband. I have 2 kids 2 & 4. I have a good job and no babysitters. My family is not that involved with us and there busy and I dont trust strangers with my kids. I dont have any friends that would watch kids the way I would. Dont trust no one really. I work 2nd shift and dont usually daycares close @ 5P? any suggetions?

Answer 1

I have provided 2 sites below for you to visit. One says they connect battered women to the help they need.

I also encourage you to talk to your church. Members of the church have great connections to ladies experiencing the same or similar issues.

Don't give up on your family, you'd be surprised how seemingly distant family members come to the aid of the battered person when they've made a final decision to do something.

Please contact your church, the website below and a lady elder at your church to mentor and help you through this. Getting somewhere safe, quickly ,should be top priority. They will help.

Answer 2

Well, you have to leave the kids with someone while you are at work. I sure would not want to leave them with a drunk.

You need to find someone who will watch your children that you will be able to trust. You have to start somewhere...

You are going to have to leave them with a family member, a friend, a neighbor, someone who attends your church, or a good daycare.

There are daycare centers that stay open at night for single parents that work nights. Look them up in your yellow pages. Call them and go by and check them out during the time you would normally be working. Then if you decide to use a daycare pay them a surprise visit every now and then to make sure everything is fine. This will make you feel better and it will let the daycare know that they are being monitored.

Answer 3

Most daycare closes at 6-6:30 but most cities have at least a few that are open later, you could also contact your local Department of social services, or child and family services they have alist of licensed child care providers and can refer you some that are open later hours, also could you possibly get a shift change. I feel for you, my came home from a business trip one day and told me we were over, I had to borrow money from my parents and moved myself and my 2yr old out of a house, get daycare and a better job in 4 weeks.... It was tough I didnt trust anyone either, since you husband has a drinking problem obvioulsy he is not an option for childcare.

What about a private nanny from an agency, with a really good rep, references, etc... Colleges are good sources, esp from the education department.

Could you get a similar job with better hours, that could help also, especially since your 4 yr old will be going to school next year, and you will need to be home at night as it will be impossible to get regular daycare for a school age child that time of night because of the need for a getting to bed earlier.

Best of luck, its a tough situation, but you can do it...

Answer 4

Ouch...have been there? Make sure you don't isolate yourself, if your family is not very supportive. I never trusted anyone to take my kids either, but i also found out, that i couldn't trust my friends with my kids, because they weren't the best kinds of friends you could ask for, even though i deeply care about all my friends. When i got away from my neglectful situation at home, they really didn't stick around (not enough drama left for them.)

It is harder when your kids are so young, but you can do it. Yes, you can find alot of resources from human services department. If you decide to get child care, just demand references, ask for good referals, and you need child support to help pay for child care. I never got this, and so i couldn't keep up with everything even with a decent job.
Make a good plan...take it one day at a time, make sure to take care of your physical health as well. Just talking from my mistakes and experience. Best of luck. I'm sure others can give some good advice too.

Answer 5

Do you attend a good church? It may be a good idea to work on getting some good counsel from a pastor or minister in your local area. Sometimes there are programs available in the community you live in, such as a community health center who offers daycare on a sliding scale, based on your income.
I know you are in a tough situation, but try to make out a careful plan....don't just run until you have somewhere to go. Call the local Women's Shelter and ask to speak to a counsellor...its free and they can offer some good advice as well. You can find these phone numbers in your area phone book in the blue pages, under the county you live in...all the best to you! GOD BLESS YOU.

Answer 6

Sadly, you might have to let someone look after your children that you don't know. The best way to do this though is to look for someone that has at least three references in the childcare field, and ask their former employers a lot of questions. Also sit down with them and ask them "if" questions. Ask them if such and such a thing happened, what would they do, how would they treat the children, and so forth. Let them interact with you and your children a few times to get a feel of how well they do with your children. Ask your children, the two year old might not be able to answer, how they feel about the babysitter. Then try leaving them alone with the children for one hour one day, a few more hours another day. Make sure though that you teach your children not to keep secrets, even for their babysitter, and tell them what ways it is alright to be touched and not touched. I'd say the best way to find a good babysitter is to go to a local church and talk to some of the high school or university teachers, and ask them if they have any suggestions. Often these teachers will have known the kids in their classes for years, if not their whole lives, and will be able to give you some good recommendations. Always do a criminal check on anyone you think of hiring, and don't be afraid to demand that they have CPR and first aid training. I am a child care worker myself, currently working after two children, I love my job, and I always make sure that my employers know they can drop in at any time of the day to check up on me, phone home whenever they'd like to see how the children are doing, they are allowed to meet all my friends, and ask any of my old employers anything they'd like to. If your babysitter is open about all of the above, it's a very good possibility they are good to hire. :) But no matter who you hire, at first, drop in from time to time unannounced, even hide under an open window to hear what is going on when they think you're not around. Don't be afraid to ask them to do certain things with the children. IE. Ask them to read to the children, take them to the park, teach your four year old a few things to read, and so on. I'd save things like bathtime and such for when you know the sitter better. I wish you all the best, I know it can be really hard to let others look after your children. As for leaving, there is no better time to leave a husband that is ruining your marriage. If he's become a drunk and refuses to change his ways, it's better to get out now before he influences your children in ways they will never forget. Call your local church to see if they have any programs that can help you, if they can't, find a local women's shelter, they can help you find care for your children, and help you find programs that will help you as you start out on your own. I truly wish you all the best. I know this can't be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

Answer 7

Contact a women shelter and ask for help. They have many programs to help women and mothers needing to leave a spouse. They can help you find a child care program you can trust and possibly change shift times. Employers can be generous and flexible if they know your situtation just don't abuse the help you are given or they will look for reasons to get rid of you.

Good luck and trust you are likely doing the best thing for your kids.

Answer 8

Move to rome and have sex with greek men

Answer 9

Good luck.

Answer 10

Find one that does.