your tell your husband not to talk to your mother about none of the problem that is going on the relationship because you dont trust her but he dose it anyway and a lote of he say she say get started what do you do? Oh and he dosent tell you that he talked to her you find out on your own.
2006-09-27 06:06:58 · 25 answers · asked by MRS.H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK i might have confused some of you but its my mom not his and im not going to leave him this happen when we were married 1month its been 7 months ago we have had bigger problems. It just kind of bothers me to this day cause my mom side some hurtful things about me to him and i think it was something fishy going on but i will never know think you for all the nice advace
2006-09-27 06:45:26 · update #1
If you are talking about him telling your mother things in your relationship then... unfortunately.. its a no win situation. You should of noticed this or thought of this before you all were married.
Since you are bound by marriage you need to try to work it out. This is not a commitment that should be taken lightly.
You will need to learn to ignore his mother if this keeps on going. If it gets worse then youll have to come to a decision of your mental health... or him.... (people who causes problems in a relationship will cause you stress.
First try and work it out. Talk to him. Let him know that this could impact your and his future. If he does not care and still keeps doing it. You then need to go to the source. Her... Talk to her. Let her know she is causing problems with the two of you. See what happens.
Finally, if neither work then its probably best to end things.. (last resort)
2006-09-27 06:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is YOUR mom, he will eventually figure out what your saying (on trust). If it's HIS mom, you're gonna have a lifetime of Mom in your business.
My in-laws are great. Always willing to help out and do whatever needs done. But they sometimes are a little too involved. We butt heads sometimes. At least my husband doesn't "run to Mommy" though. Usually I'm the one who spills the beans.
The best advice is to talk to your husband about it. If that doesn't work get a trusted friend to talk to your husband. Sometimes our husbands forget that we know more than they think we do. If all else fails, seek counseling. It will only get worse if it's not taken care of now.
2006-09-27 13:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by jenn_jenn02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are serious problems in the relationship, a trusted counsellor should be the one to hear about them, not your parents. You have made vows that make the two of you your own little family, and you need to deal with things on your own now. Only when both agree to talk to parents with the intent of seeking advice, not to just vent about each other, should parents be told about things in your marriage. They don't come to you and complain about hteir lives, do they?
This was a breach of trust. Try not to tattle on your husband, though, you will only teach him to keep running to mama whenever you guys disagree about something.
Your mothers already raised you, so act like it.
2006-09-27 13:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wanted a mommy. He's hostile toward you. If you want to stay married, you better develop an attraction to children, because that's what you married. Men like him: who are in such need of female (Mommy) validation, are very prone to infidelity -- not to mention: job instability, financial irresponsibility, sloppiness, unfair fighting . . . They can't set boundaries for themselves. They have no backbone and they just do what is easiest in the moment. They don't have cause-effect awareness, or delayed gratification -- because those traits come with maturity. If you start laying down ultimatums with him, you are taking on the role of "Mom." You can't honor what you don't respect or trust.
Cut your losses. This is a big can of worms.
2006-09-27 13:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe Your husband doesnt feel he can talk to anyone else but your mother because he feels intimated by you and he thinks your mother knows you best and can help. Men get annoying when it comes to mothers weither its yours or thei own and unfornatly I have not yet found a way to stop that attachemtn or at least put it on ice for a while
2006-09-27 13:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband tells his mom everything about me if she asked and I hate that. He never tells me that he told her. I found out when my mother-in-law asks me the same questions by stating that "my son says...". When I tell her something, my husband always confront me by stating that I shouldn't tell her stuff because it's not my story to tell. However, when he tells her my stuff, it's okay. I got so mad that I confronted my husband and I stopped talking to him. After a while, I broke into tears, because it seems unfair to me. I'm always the one holding the feelings inside of me and everyone else gets to talk about me behind my back. Later, he apologizes and I still ignore him. Things didn't get better until I told him that I want a divorce and I'm taking our unborn child with me. Now, he allows me to yell at him whenever I feel angry about his family. I've been ignoring his family for months now. I am no longer mandatory to see his family unless I want to.
2006-09-27 13:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on your Husband, I think that's wrong. Your Husband should keep your personal issues to himself and not run to Mommy. I'm sorry to say that he sounds like a Mama's Boy. If I were you, I would talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel and that you would appreciate if personal issues between you and him stay exactly that, personal. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 13:19:12 · answer #7 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband that what goes on in your relationship is personal between the two of you and he wouldnt like it if everytime you had a minor problem you ran to other people and told them. He needs to let go of his mom a little and be a man and husband.
2006-09-27 13:11:52 · answer #8 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you are now a couple and if he does not respect your wishes and keep your private life private, that you have doubts that your marriage will work out. its hard enough for two people to adjust to married life without having interference from in-laws. i have seen it time and again where a married couple would do just fine if they discussed their problems together without bringing in other people. although even though everyone needs to discuss their problems with someone.....family members aree not the right choice.....good luck
2006-09-27 13:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by dollyvg2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh does this sound familiar! My husband used to do the same thing. He eventually grew up. I explained to him that no matter what he said about me, my family would never turn against me, and that he only made himself look stupid by trying to always play the victim. In my case, I had to turn the tables on him and embarrass him one good time. Good luck.
2006-09-27 13:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by T J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋