Why is it so hard to let go and move on when you've given your heart, for all it's worth, to someone? How do you fall out of love without finding a "rebound"? And, will the doubt and fear of not trusting always be there?
2006-09-27 06:02:08 · 11 answers · asked by coolguy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We all have the misconseption that if we give our hearts to someone, they will love us back! Doesn't always work out that way. And....it hurts like hell when it doesn't!
Time will heal everything! You just have to give yourself time to get over it.
There is nothing wrong with having a rebound! Sometimes it can be very helpful. Just be sure that you are honest with that person. You never know.....your rebound may turn out to be the girl of your dreams!
Someone will earn your trust again. You will be a little jaded for awhile, but you will eventually move past it. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 06:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to move on because your brain forms life patterns, patterns that now include another person. Basically habit. When certain stimuli come up, such as sexual urges or lonliness, your body is used to the answer to the problem being that other person. So you will have a strong desire for them especially in these times. This is why rebound relationships seem to fix heartache so quickly, the need comes up and is met, just by somebody else. There are of course ethical considerations in rebounding, as you are somewhat unlikely to have long term success in these relationships. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with friends, think about what went wrong in the relationship, work on your issues that might have contributed to the ending of the relationship, and do things that you enjoy. It is possible to be too busy to be heartbroken, and this can be helpful and constructive, but often if you avoid your feelings by being active you can have trouble sleeping or functioning when the stress of the day fades and you are left with your thoughts.
Our minds learn by associating hurt with causes and then avoiding these causes. In etreme cases of betrayel and relationship induced pain, it can take a long time to trust another person enough to have an intimate relationship with them, but it will not always be there.
The short answer? Time heals all wounds, but loving support helps! Take time to see your family and close friends and let them help you through.
2006-09-27 06:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they've become a habit and habits are hard to break. It takes time.
Without a rebound--you get busy doing other things that don't relate to dating. You don't look for women, you just look to improve and enjoy your life.
The doubt and fear should not always be there- if so, you need help. It wouldn't be fair to be doubtful and mistrusting and make the next woman pay that price.
You overcome this by making better choices in partners. Understand what went wrong, and pick better mates.
You should read the book "Are You The One for Me? Knowing Who's Right & Avoiding Who's Wrong" so you can know how to avoid making the biggest mistakes in love.
2006-09-27 06:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need behave more like a man and less like a woman. Seriously, all this heartache bullcrap is getting old. There are so many women out there, pal, she ain't the only one who possesses the things you loved about your ex. You need to take a positive spin on it and see the benefits of being single. Now stop whining and move on with your life, have some dignity and grow some more balls.
2006-09-27 06:04:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i guess you got to give it time... and try every day to think about him or her or what happened you know? And then after however long it takes you to get over that person someone new will come along it might take week or it might take months but someone new always comes along. and i know what im telling you is easier said than done but its what you gotta do. its what i do. and i know its hard to imagine yourself hugging and kissing someone else but just give it time your get over your ex lover soon enough youll find someone better and someone who loves you even more
2006-09-27 06:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will learn to trust again, everyone in their own time, there is no set time limit, it's different for everyone, I did not find my 'soul-mate' till I was 39. It was worth the wait and if my first marraige hadn't ended I never would have met the one who truly makes me happy!! Don't lose hope!!
2006-09-27 06:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by perplexed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My man. TIME is the only answer.
It takes alot of it.
Also you need your family and friends for support.
It gets worse each time, cause each time you fall deeper in love.
Get used to it.
2006-09-27 06:04:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time is the best remedy. take some time out for yourself before you have a relationship with someone. you will learn more about yourself and even more about relationships.
2006-09-27 06:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by dana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
STOP BELIEVEING THAT SOMEONE WOES YOU YOUR PERFECT RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE YOU INVESTED ALL OF YOURSELF IN TRYING TO CREATE ONE.
YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, NO ONE ELSE WANTS THAT JOB.
WOULDN'T IT BE COOL TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE? SOMEONE WHO WANTS WHAT YOU WANT?
IT IS SELF-DEFEATING TO RELY ON SOMEONE FOR YOUR SELF WORTH. BUILD YOURSELF UP BY MASTERING A SKILL OR TALENT. ACCOMPLISHMENTS BUILD SELF ESTEEM, AND INSPIRE MOTIVATION TO GO OUT THERE AND TACKLE MORE.....
2006-09-27 06:10:08 · answer #9 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time is the greatest healer..
2006-09-27 06:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by jack jack 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋