Why does my husband listen to his friends opinion over mine? We used to be so close and valued each others' thoughts now, he talks to them more. I've warned him about a guy in the past who I felt was disrespecting our marriage by trying to pull him away from me to go out all the time. He didn't listen. Recently they had a fight and hate each others' guts now. Now he's clinging to another guy that influences him. What do you think the real deal is with this?
2006-09-27 05:43:40 · 8 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just an opinion. Can you recall being a teenager and your parents told you not to do something and the more they said no, the more you did it? Perhaps, by "telling" him what to do and who he should listen to, you are pushing him further away. Sometimes, it's better to relax, let him do his thinking on his own. Eventually, he will find his way back to you. In the meantime, yes you are feeling hurt - beleive that it is nothing personal, just human nature. A bit of patience and time. Let him have his "space" , try to refrain from the "I told you so". Human nature is such a beast. Patience, biting the tongue and time. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 05:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He need to realize this: YOU SHOULD BE HIS BEST FRIEND!!
I met my wife in high school ... she was 15 ... I was 16 ... yes ... we got married young ... I was 21 ... she was 20 ... but we were the best of friends before we got married ... and we are still best friends ... 6 years later ... we still are the best of friends ... yes I have my male friends I hang with ... she has her female friends she hangs with ... but at the end of the day ... SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND ... and I will always go to her first when I have a question or would like an opinion on something!!
I hope your husband realizes this too! Good Luck!
2006-09-27 13:29:45 · answer #2 · answered by -- 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's something that many women refuse to understand. It's OK for women to chat and gossip but... hey, what about us guys having a couple of friends just to hang out and share our hobbies and things like that... it's often called male bonding. Hey, ladies, back off a little and let us breathe a little. Don't smother us. Give us a little space, too, OK? We just like to talk about things like mechanics, carpentry, or footfall or baseball or boxing... things that you and he don't have in common... which is OK not to have some things in common... you know? We need to be able to have our manly jokes, just like you ladies have your own talks and jokes and gossip or whatever... what is wrong with that? Kids have also need to be amongst themselves and away for a couple of hours from parents... do you also oppose that?
Since you DID ask "what [we thought] the deal is with this" I just thought I'd break the news to you, gently I hope. It's difficult sometimes not to be over-possessive and over-bearing... embarrassingly domineering... it's like a wife becoming her spouse's mother, where she has to give her opinion on everything and know EVERYTHING... sheesh, I've met 2 women like that and I felt sorry for the two guys... (one was a former friend of mine and another a guy I worked with... EVERYONE had negative comments to say about those two women...).
Maybe you're the jealous one that likes to be telling her man what and how and where to do whatever? Maybe you're just too pushy? Do you wait for him to ask you your opinion or do you offer it whether he doesn't ask for it or he tells you that he doesn't want to hear it?
Don't feel rejected. He's not rejecting you. He just needs a little space and distance... stop trying to be his shadow 24x7. It will only hurt you and make you feel bad. Chill off a little.
YOU would be complaining if HE did it to you, and you'd want him to get some serious counseling, and you'd be saying that he's overly possessive, over-bearing, over-critical, jealous of your shadow, not trusting you, not letting you have friends, alienating you from fiends and family,... mental abuse... blah, blah, blah...! Maybe you should have your agenda evaluated by a professional? Maybe the problem is NOT him...but you? It's a two-way street and so far we've only heard YOUR side of the story...!
2006-09-27 13:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's what I go through day to day basis. We have really bad communication. He prefers to talk with his friends on his cell phone more vs me. He said I am way too serious and not a conversationalist. I learned I should of evaulated and thought it through thoroughly before we got married. This has been going on since we were dating he always wanted to be around people. There are a lot of signs I missed just like you.
2006-09-27 12:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by babyruthi2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hes just not into the marriage that much right now. That could change. I would try to get to the real issue right now.
2006-09-27 12:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is not the Alpha type male and needs comfort and support from other men.Alpha types are usually loners or group with women.
2006-09-27 12:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like he is not serious about this marriage and needs some growing up to do. You should tell him and try to discuss this issue but if he doesn't even try to change or compromise, you should find someone better! You deserve better!
2006-09-27 12:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by sunflower222 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
EXPLAIN THAT THE WIFE ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT COMES FIRST, IS #1, AND HE NEEDS TO GROW UP.
2006-09-27 13:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋