Have friends and family there.. but I dont have anyone on my list that I had sex with or even been in a relationship with. Now my husband does, and he keeps in touch with ex girlfriends and other females that he had sexual contacts with.. I told him that if he was getting his girls, how would it look if I got my boys? And they would post things like that? But he didnt care, and said that I was just jelouse and over reacting. How can I change this about myself? I dont want to be jelouse, or upset about a stupid website. Looking at my husband and knowing how he is at home, puhleese i dont think he ex's would want him back anyways.. lol but i do feel embarrassed.
2006-09-27 05:13:41 · 18 answers · asked by The real questions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You were asking for trouble with the individual my.space pages. As a married couple it should have been a joint page for mutual friends. You are correct in feeling slighted by his need to encourage friendships with people he previously slept with.
Delete the pages and make a joint one that allows for updates about your family etc...
Take action now and don't feel guilty or unreasonable. Have you not read and heard about how many people ruin their relationships with those that are just "friends". No such thing when one of the friends is in a committed relationship.
Last resort is to disconnect the internet.
2006-09-27 05:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who says you are over-reacting? My husband joined MySpace and based on past behaviors, I joined pretty soon after to keep an eye on him. He doesn't cross the line, but he doesn't quite realize when his behaviors get too close. Almost immediately he reconnected with past g/f's (most of which I don't mind) and some that "got away."
I tried to tell myself that I was over-reacting and that at least he was at home.
Now I'm getting a divorce. He met some chick on there and decided she was better. Not to say I was surprised. As I said, he doesn't always understand the boundaries.
My point is this....most of the ex's are an EX for a reason. I don't have any fear of someone he USED to date. If your husband exhibits behaviors that make you think he MIGHT cheat, then you need to sit down and talk to him about it. And be willling to leave if it doesn't get cleared up.
On my front, having MySpace did get me in touch with my ex (high school sweetheart). While he's happily in a relationship, our friendship has been rekindled. His fiance and I have become good friends as well. So sometimes, friendship is just friendship.
2006-09-27 13:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by jenn_jenn02 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've experienced the same problem, but on text messages not myspace. Anyways it took me a long time to accept the fact that my boyfriend was still keeping in touch with his ex, and I used to get jealous ALL the time, and I felt like there was a part of him that still wanted her. Eventually after all the fights, I realized that if he is at home with me everynight and the worst that is happening is innocent text messages, then I need to just let it go. Have you tried to talk to him about how it makes you feel knowing he is talking to his exes? It took a lot of talking for my boyfriend to realize how it was hurting me. Good luck. Keep your chin up, and don't be embarrassed.
2006-09-27 12:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by Domestic Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is so funny that I saw this me & my boyfriend of 6 years this december got into an arguement about myspace last nite. He is mad because I have a page, but you cant be my friend or view my page unless you know my last name or email add. I told him he was being petty I ONLY talk to family, people I went to highschool with, and friends from my child hood my parents were in the military. a couple of my friends are his family members and friends of the both of us. But he is still mad! Sorry I had to vent.
Anyway girl you have a right to be MAD not jealous, and you are not jealous. why does he need to keep in contact with them anyway. what do they have to talk about? And if you did it he would definetly have aproblem, dont believe he wont
2006-09-27 12:21:07 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toss the computer out the window and tell him there is only room in your marriage bed for the two of you, and if he thinks he can allow a bunch of ex-girlfriends make reappearances online or in his head, hes got another thing coming.
Come down hard on him so he knows just how unacceptable it is, and top it all off with a good verbal rant as you carry your suitcase out to the car and loudly announce that until he is through with his internet whores, you'll be staying at your mother's. Either he is committed to you and only you, or not, you should find out pretty quick which way hes leaning.
2006-09-27 12:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey my names lisa,
I actually just did what your husband did, and i felt aw full just writting back to my ex after he contacted me. My husband doesn't trust me now even though i apologized and put him on block...so it's a bad situation in general. you just don't talk to your ex's .......i would be pissed off if my husband did it......so you reap what you sow...if your husband cares for your feelings it doesn't matter if you might be jealous or overreacting , you obviously feel the way you do and he should respect that and give you consideration, even if it means him not talking to them, which shouldn't be a big deal...as long as he has you and your happy. That's his role in the home to make his wife happy and likewise with you to him. Tell him he's not a bachelor anymore. DONT BE EMBARRASSED , its normal.........no woman would want her husband to be talking to his ex's unless she's bi and wants them too.
good luck girl.
2006-09-27 12:23:35 · answer #6 · answered by johnny P 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's being a jerk. Unacceptable. Have him take the account down, make a new one just for family. He should have no reason to keep flirting or whatever with his ex's. People today have no respect for boundaries or marital relationships, it's sad.
2006-09-27 12:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is being disrespectful to you and your marriage. Chatting with someone I've had sex with isn't appropriate if I'm married now. He should have moved on. You are right to be upset. And he WOULD be upset if your ex-lovers started posting stuff on your account....
2006-09-27 12:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by daj11551 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't think you're being jealous or overreacting. I think that his behavior in a marriage relationship is very inappropriate. I am very confident, after 18 years of marriage, that if I started getting in contact with women I used to have sex with and have cozy internet relationships with them my wife would have a very very big problem with that. I mean a BIG problem.
I don't know how you could handle talking to him about this, he's obviously a bit of a cad, based upon his reactions to your very real and valid concerns.
Men are scum and they are more than willing to ditch a long term relationship they are in because they can't keep it in their pants - all men cheat, and he's just adding tons of fuel to that fire.
He's wrong, not you.
FP
2006-09-27 12:21:25 · answer #9 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The internet is a dangerous place. I would advise you BOTH to take down your myspace accounts. He is not treating you nicely given his response. You deserve some respect and consideration, not to be scolded like a child!
2006-09-27 12:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by confusius 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋