my son is9 almost 10. he makes me tell him 4 or 5 times to do or not do something. when i ask him why he does this he replts;cause i don;t like you. i have been nothing but good to him. today when i told him to stay in the house please; he did;nt and our 9 pounnd poodle almost got attacked by 3 stray dogs. he is in councling but he acts good infront of any one except me. i at my wits end,it;s making me crary. hrlp what can i do?
2006-09-27 05:03:43 · 11 answers · asked by Cami lives 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are definite respect issues in your home.
My question to you is: Why are you asking him to do things 3-4 times?? Ask him once!! Give him 3 minutes to get up and do it-if he doesn't do it, punish him!! It sounds to me that you are trying to play the nice guy. That is a huge mistake!! Kids want structure and discipline in their lives.
What did you do when he went outside after being asked not to? I'll bet you got frustrated, said a few choice words, and then let it go. Am I right? If so, you cannot handle things like that! You have to be firm and discipline this child consistently! You need to physically bring him back into the house and explained to him that he just lost the privilege to go outside for 3 days. Explain to him that if he disobeys you again, he will stay in for 3 more days, and then you will have to take away T.V. as well. Make him feel the consequences! He is 10, he will get it! You just have to be consistent and not allow him to get away with it! Good Luck!
2006-09-27 05:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is at the age where he is going to start to test the waters, however that does not mean you have to just stand by and tolerate it...by the way whoever said that is wrong!
You, need to let him know that because you are the parent, you are the boss.
What this takes is you following through with discipline and structure. Have you ever watched Nanny 911 or Supernanny? Both of these shows have very good tips and examples of how to deal with unruly kids and how to set boundaries for your kids.
I'm a teacher, and I know that kids crave structure. Are you creating an atmosphere of structure at home? If not , you need to do this. Set rules and consequences for breaking the rules, and rewards for keeping the rules and then STICK TO THEM! This is where most parents fail, they don't stick to the rules and what they say. They would just rather give in than keep to the program. Is this hard? Yes, but it's essential if you don't want your kid to grow up to be a jerk and a socail misfit.
You are the parent, and your kid should feel like he can trust you, however, being the parent means sometimes do the unpopular and sticking to the system you establish in your home. I also suggest you work with the counsiler and together develop strategies for establishing structure, routines etc in your home.
2006-09-27 05:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by East of Eden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tolerate? No way. Learn to kick butt! He behaves in school because if he doesn't he'll have a detention or a pink slip.
DO NOT tell him 4 or 5 times to do something. Tell him once and if he doesn't do it, lecture him about it and put him in his room. You need to get a lock from the outside so that he cannot unlock the door. He needs to learn ways of being punished by you. This child has no respect. It's not an issue of growing up because when I was 9 and 10 I would have gotten a slap across my face acting the way your son does.
You're the boss of him, you tell him what to do, and if he doesn't you punish him. Take away his games (Ps2, xbox, game cube, Nintendo DS .. I'm sure he has at least one of these) and hide them in a spot he'll never look until you're ready to give them back.
Discipline is key.
2006-09-27 05:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to disipline him. He obviously has been getting away with things around there and because you're so nice, he's trampling you. Who's in charge? You, or your 9 year old brat? You need to take control. Take away privliges when he doesn't listen. Or, if you think it's nessecary: Spank him. I don't believe in beating your children, but there's nothing wrong with a wack on the butt when a child gets out of line. They'll remember it and won't want it to happen again. Good luck!
2006-09-27 05:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just asking once I bet he is listening ,,when I was younger I use to heat it that my mom use to repeat the things 3 or 4 times when I was infront of her,,,, so if he is good everywhere then dont worry,,,,worry when he acts bad with other people,,, at this age he will be stuburn most of the time,,justtell him one time im sure he is listening,,
2006-09-27 05:13:23 · answer #5 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all I have a seven yr old son and he does the same thing to me! maybe you need to play with him sit down and color with him or play video games with him, he probably needs attention. because all we (mothers) do is scream our asses off all the time. and if you do give him the attention that he needs and he's disrespecting you take something away that he really likes I do that to my son! he might hate me more but trust me it works! that's just the way it is when I was little I use to scream at my mom for no reason but then I grew up realizing that all she wanted to do is take good care of me! your son will realize he's growing up
2006-09-27 05:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by PRI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO you have any other children, I mean younger than him?" It could be a jealousy issue. Or is your discipline consistent with him. He sounds alot like a typical male!!! But I know what you mean, he is just testing you to see how far he can get and he knows his limits. So now its time for you to take control
2006-09-27 05:10:00 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister has the same problem and my mom kind of blackmail her for example if she not do what mom say mom will go to her school and tell everyone how she behave and all the bad things she does after saying that mu sister listen and does everythings cool idea
2006-09-27 05:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son doesn't RESPECT you. Seems kind of odd that a 10 yr is aloud to get away with those kind of actions. There are some SERIOUS ISSUES here.
2006-09-27 05:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know if your son don't curl up in the fetal position with his hands covering his head when you enter a room you've failed as a parent.beat him he sounds like a lil brat he'll get the picture after his a$$ is sore and he has to sit alone in a dark locked closet.
2006-09-27 05:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by @ubreY 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋