My brother is seeing a gal that's always been a "real winner". She's had 8 kids in her life-so far, trying for another by him as well. She's always lived off of welfare and has never done anything on her own to help herself or her children! 1 child passed away, she's only got custody of 2, the rest are all in foster homes. I know she's trying to hook my brother and none of us in the family likes her. Now he's paying for her divorce and they're getting married!!!! She's almost 48 years old and trying to get pregnant-again!!! She also knows that our Dad came into a rather large inheritance a while back, I know she's trying to dig gold out of our family. Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!All opinions welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-27 02:44:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her last child was born not all that long ago, so yes, everything is still in working order. This story is totally true, and I'm frustrated by the whole mess.
2006-09-27 02:46:01 · update #1
My brother is a total dummy. He's never had many girlfriends, he's kinda always been a loner and I know she's an "easy" one.
2006-09-27 02:48:56 · update #2
You all have been really supportive of my personal feelings, thank you to all of you out there, your all helping me!!! At least I feel better knowing others out there could feel my pain in this same situation. I hope none of you ever have to go through this. I'd like to yank this gals head off her shoulders, but I'm married and have 2 children, not going to stoop to her level. lol
2006-09-27 03:03:13 · update #3
Holy sh*it......beat him in the head with a brick or something. Knock some sense into him. Buy him a prostitute or something, get him laid. She's obviously a welfare whore. Too many women are just popping out kids so they can collect more government money. Jesus, you have to do something to get through to your brother. That's a scary situation. 8 kids, and at 48 she wants another one? That's a bad situation on the brink of getting worse. Sorry about your brother....but damn....screw these people that are talking about true love. I doubt this woman has a clue what true love is, and certainly isn't in love with your brother. And I doubt your brother is in love, no matter what he says....he's most likely just p*ussy whipped. Get the guy laid. It might do the trick.
2006-09-27 06:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by stringemuphigh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront your brother away from her. Try and get him to look at the whole picture. Ask him "do you see the pattern of her parenting?" Obviously she isn't able to care for the children she has given birth to, or at least the law sees it that way. Does he want "his" child to suffer in the same ways that her others have? Does he understand the risks of her having a child at this age? Is her prepared to raise a child on his own? If he is not receptive to your inquiries, then back down. You want him to know that no matter what you will support him. Otherwise you could be completely shut out. Most importantly, be there for him, even is things go on as he plans and down the road fall apart. Don't say "I told you so". Just be there!
2006-09-27 09:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by Amy C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you better let him know now. My brother is a Marine so he doesn't live at home, but he recently married a women that our entire family has hated since they had started dating, she was a real b*tch and we all knew it but he didn't. We never told him how we really felt and now they have a child on the way, and they fight all of the time. The whole thing is a mess. So, you had better let him know and her or else their will be major problems in the near future. And, since she is older she might get pregnant and lose the child, that could be devastating to your brother. Just please let him know your true feelings. I wish I would have with my brother because we speak maybe once a month if we are lucky.
2006-09-27 10:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you pointed all those things out to your brother. She does sound like a loser. Have you showed him how she can do nothing for him and what life will be like for him. She is getting old and will definitely need help and then she wants to have one with him which will set him back even further. Show him how negligent she is. She has kids in foster care for pete sake. That means she apparently is not a good mother. You need to let him know if the slightest thing happens with her and the child welfare people have to be involved he will also be a target and not only that they will take the remaining children and his child too if he has one with her. Tell him that if she really wanted to be settled down she would have done it long before him because she is older and has all those kids. She really is just looking for a sucker to take on her responsibility just like being on welfare has. If he handicaps her ever more she will never walk on her on.
2006-09-27 10:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by Miss T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I hear your pain I had a similar situation with my son. I was bouncing off the walls. To be honest there is really not alot that you can do . Your brother can not see the forest for the trees at this time. Cross your fingers, pray alot and hope that he gets his eyes open before she sinks her claws any further. And as I told the gal that was desperately after my son I have 3 letters for ya DNA. I also told her that if the DNA comes up positive to be my son's child she has a bigger problem because I would use any and all means I had to remove my grandchild from a home like hers.
I wish you luck!
2006-09-27 09:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by blueblossom33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has anyone told your brother how the family feels? if not someone really needs to because I agree with the GOLD DIGGER thing and as far as her having another baby - someone needs to tell your brother that things may not turn out the way he wants them to because having babies at an older age isn't all a bed of roses and that I know first hand because I'm 45 and I had my kids at 36 and 41 - I know it's hard for me to keep up with them at times and to tell you the truth - I believe that god planned it this way for me because I went through 2 really bad marriages starting from the time I was 16 and never got pregnant (THANK YOU GOD) up until I met the man I'm married to now and have been for 12 yrs now - now i know what a happy family is supposed to be like! hope this helps
2006-09-27 10:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by stockarchic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as you want to help your brother it is still his decision to make. Sure, it sounds like he is being played, but if you alienate him and make him mad he probably will do what he wants anyway. Personally, since there is an inheritance issue, I would suggest he get a prenup agreement for her to sign. If she really loves him she would sign it. If she doesn't that will speak volumes! I am not 48 but I know I wouldn't want to have another baby at that age. If he does go through with the marriage and your family doesn't like her, maybe your Dad can put a special clause in his will so that she wouldn't be able to get your family's money!
2006-09-27 09:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your dad disapprove of this liaison? If so, could he be persuaded to disinherit your brother? If he did, explaining why, should the relationship suffer (as you, it would appear, expect) then he can always reinstate your brother as someone to inherit once the "danger" has passed. Plus, you could all snub your brother until he "gets rid" - harsh but the end justifies the means. In the meantime, try to find someone nice who will go out with him! Maybe you can get a private detective to dig some dirt on her which will help your brother see sense.
2006-09-27 09:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by big pup in a small bath 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although you may see the "real her", your brother obviously doesn't. They say love is blind and maybe he is completely blinded right now. Just from what you wrote, I can tell she is a "real winner" like you said. The only problem is this. If you keep down talking her or trying to convince your brother that she is this awful person, you may end up losing him. He is a grown man and he will have to figure it out for himself. I would however talk to him and tell him you love him, but you see things for what they are and he doesn't because he is in love. Then calmly explain to him how you feel and tell him to just exam the situation from your point of view. Don't be to hard on him though, you don't want to push him away from you........good luck
2006-09-27 09:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by dixiegirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try talking to him but he will make his own decision and there really isn't anything you can do about it if he does decide to marry her. I just hope that he doesn't adopt her kids because then, if she divorces him, she can get him for child support. Talk to your Dad about making a will and specifying that any amount of money that would go to your brother would go to an alternate beneficiary if your brother were to pass away while still married to this woman. That way she couldn't get her hands on it. Good luck to all of you!
2006-09-27 09:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋