Ok, so I dumped my ex because everytime he got drunk he gave me abuse, not physical, just caused alot of 'mental' heartache. He was my first love and I was more than alittle upset when I dumped him, but I didnt show it, just moved on! So I met this really nice guy, it was just sexual at first, we really get on and were share alot of stuff with each other, but then my ex sorts himself out and we meet up a couple of times and I thought I wanted him back, after all I still have feelings for him. But now im wondering if I did the right thing. The other guy was really upset when I told him it was over, I didnt even realise he liked me that much. Is it possible to love two guys? If I could mould the pair of them together id have the perfect guy! My ex is funny and affectionate, but overpowering, whereas this other guy is funny, smart and caring but not affectionate (doesnt cuddle, hold hands etc much) I know if I dump my ex again he be heartbroken, I dont wanna hurt anyone. Help!
2006-09-27 02:44:44 · 18 answers · asked by Trixychick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetie, You can't love two guys the same exact way. Unfortunately someone is going to get hurt because you can't be with both of these guys. I think you know the answer to your own question. You want to be with your ex despite how he is because even though you left him, your feelings had never died down with him. When you met this other guy he was their to fill the space and you had no idea he would be a great guy in the end This new guy is mad because you left your ex to have a better life, and then your ex comes back into the picture and it's like this new guy is just being tossed to the side. The new guy feels used by you. He feels like he was only good enough for you at that time. He's probably also wondering if you were even being real about the whole thing. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute and try to imagine if he did this to you, what would be the feeling you have???? Your very confused and you need to make up your mind and stick to a desicion this time. Why would you get back into a relationship that wasn't even fixed when you left it????? If he was abusing you menatlly before what makes you think he won't start it again over time???? I can speak from experience with emotional abuse in a relationship. Yes cuddling and holding hands is great and as women we all want that feeling, but sometimes you find a really great man that just doesn't do that, but it doesn't mean he's not a good man and is not passionate or romatic, it just means he does things a bit different. If all that you care about at this point is affection when you compare the two then your getting back with your ex for the wrong reasons. You should want to be in a relationship because of the respect and honest love someone is going to give you. You have to make a choice, but whatever you do stick with that choice because when you do things this way you hurt innocent people in the process. Take care!!!
2006-09-27 03:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy who was mentally abusive to you should be the one you should have stayed away from...just because he has "sorted himself out" it does not mean he will change, it's only a matter of time before he will start his ugly ways again...and more fool you for letting him get away with it, learn by your mistakes luv...what happens when he has a tank load of drink again? are you going to sit and take his abuse....he may be good looking and funny but seems to me he's got an ugly side to him also, which is not that funny...you should have stayed with the new guy...if this happens again with the abusive boyfriend i am sure the one you dumped is not going to be there for you when you hit rock bottom...make yourself happy and get rid of the funny attractive abuser...you didn't really give the new guy a chance to be affectionate, but dumping him like that was a bit harsh...my motto is...never go back to the ex especially if he was abusive...they Will only make your life as miserable as theirs...he needs to deal with his drink problem, you need to dump him and move on..he's the one who has issues...while he is back in your life...you will be receiving abuse from him...if he blames it on the drink then that's total bull...he knows what he's doing and probably enjoys seeing you on a downer...kick his butt out of your life...you deserve better
2006-09-27 02:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love triangle can be defined as the love between three people. The love triangle is a big problem for all of them, because it affects the life of each of them. Sometimes it is the cause of the break up of two true lovers.
2015-08-05 00:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time out and think about you!!! Think about what you want!!
With your ex you have been there and it didn't work!!!
With the new guy you could probably change the non affectionate side of him if you spoke with him.
A leopard never changes his spots, so your ex will be "good" for about 2 weeks and it will be back where it all finished!!!!!!!!
Take some you time!!!!!!! Think a little............. make sure you are not rushed into anything!!!1
Good Luck
x
2006-09-27 03:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by Very Sexy Vixen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you must ask yourself about the ex is "Can a leopard change his spots?" Perhaps the new him will revert to the old behaviours once you have come back into his life. Be careful. You could get hurt here. Remember why you broke up in the first place and ask yourself if you are prepared to go through that again.
2006-09-27 02:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to realize that everyone has their faults. Do you really love either of them? One was real abusive to you, the other sounds more like a fling with some emotions attached. That is what you need to figure out. The only advice I can truly give you is to never settle for less than you think you deserve. Maybe neither can be what you truly need.
2006-09-27 02:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok for starters you assert your not into his chum, then why in hell are you thinking relationship him over the guy you're interested in? That is mindless in any respect...it is not a love triangle considering you do not safeguard all of the events you're only finding to be in some style of interest from those adult males. recover from your self heavily...do not' play video games and don't' positioned up stupid relationship head game questions interior the marriage class...
2016-10-01 10:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, which one is your "ex" - the first "ex" who got drunk or the second "ex" who didn't?
Talk to both of them - separately - and tell them what you want from a relationship with them as individuals. Find out if that's what they want too ... Decide if you can stay with either whilst not missing what the other had to offer that was different.
If you can't choose, stay "single" and see both of them on different nights ... or invite them both to move in and share :-)
2006-09-27 03:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think they would be the perfect person if they blended together, then chances are neither of them is for you. Maybe if you're confused you could just take some time out until you know how you feel. Time alone could help you decide.
2006-09-27 02:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a coin heads for the come back ex and tails for the other , if it lands on either then choose him, if it lands straight have both lol
nah just joking , you gotta stick with one and be faithful, would you like them to go to another girl and have feelings for her no,
and its cheating , both are nice, but theres got to be that one guy,
or end up having no nice guy at all ,you choose
2006-09-27 02:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋