oh god please help me!!!?

Question

as i drop off my 5 year old son to his kindergarten something strange has been happenning for some days. there is another woman who also brings her child to school. everyday when she sees me her face lights up and she looks at me all the time. i have never spoken to her as our kids are in different classes. today i spotted her trying to listen to what i was saying to my friends and smiling. she is very pretty and tall.i am a mother of two and as you can expect pretty but not sexy.i cought her looking at my dress, hair and smiling. i dont know if she is laughing at me or something else.as i am fat, i am always self consience.only time a person looks at me is when they think that i am fat and ugly.i am soo confused.i am not gay . what should i do?

she is not lonely or shy. she has a group of people who she talks to everyday.but whenever she sees me, she stops talking to them and stares. i am sooo freaked out. i am thinking of not going to school anymore.

Answer 1

Okay, first before I forget, you should not think that the only reason people are looking at you is because they think you are fat and ugly. If you consider yourself pretty then it's likely that you are. (And to be honest, and I know this sounds bad, people only stare at other people if they are unfortunaly really fat and really ugly almost like the rubber necking effect. It takes an extreme for people to really stare and you usually know if you are an extreme. Very sad but sadly true. If you are worried about your looks or weight, that's okay, but remember that you are your own worst critic and people don't see you the same way you see yourself. Even if you consider yourself average, no one notices average people. I am not trying to come off as a critical person, this is only what I have learned about people and I want to be as honest as I can be when I answer someone's question. Because, without honesty, what the point?) Okay, bad way to start off but I will continue. She might be gay, which is fine but if that is the case then it is obviously uncomfortable because you are not. If her child looks to be like her biological one that still does not rule her out of being gay but, to be honest, I feel lesbians usually know they are lesbians prior to heterosexual relationships more so than men. You hear about men leaving their wives because they were closet homosexuals or didn't figure it out until then but you don't often hear about woman being so confused. (Is it because woman are more in tune with there feelings? Who knows? Also, I think there is more of a stigma for men to be gay than for woman to be a lesbian. Some men are scared of being considered fairies but for woman, it seem to be about feminism, empowerment and men being bad. I'm generalizing of course but for the sake of simplicity.) However, she could be bisexual which is also fine. but also very confusing. One thing I have learned from my friends that are gay is that there is a "gay radar" that almost never fails. Sometimes it is hard for heteosexuals to know if another person is homosexual but apparently homosexuals almost always know if someone else is homosexual as well. So if she were gay and you were not, chances are she would know; and therefore, have no further interest. What I think is that she is intrigued by you. I am also not gay but I have found myself checking out woman that I find particularily attractive, striking or interesting. It's hard to explain but everyone is attracted to beauty and it doesn't have to involve anything sexual in nature. It can be beauty on the outside or beauty on the inside and I think that she is just very interested in you as a person. And, while is sounds shallow, beauty is also attracted to fellow beauty. If you acknowledge that she very is pretty and she is checking you out then you are probably very pretty as well. You might have a certain disposition about you that denotes charisma and confidence which is an automatic draw. Maybe she thinks your child is adorable and is interested in you because you are his mother. If she was checking out your dress and hair you might have a really great sense of style and fashion and she wishes that she had the same so she is "studying" you. Maybe she can tell that you are a person that she could "click" with as a friend and wants to meet. (Sometimes you can tell that about people without even meeting them.) Maybe she is new to the neighborhood and wants to meet new people and you seem to be someone she could really get along with. One option is that you are just noticing her because she is very pretty and she is and very tall and it seems like she is staring at you but it's all in your head. I am not saying this is the case but notice how she looks at other people and if it's the same then she could just be a very friendly, overly "straring off into space" person. I know you are not going to be satisfied until you know so next time smile back at her and maybe intiate conversation. You could also, ever so slyly, try to learn more about her through you friends. Like say, "That woman's child is so cute, is she new to the neighborhood because I have never seen her before." You can word things right so that is seems casual while you are actually trying to figure her out. This is a werid situation for you I know but I would not be weirded out until you have reason to be so. My interpretation is that you are actually a very pretty and interesting person (even though you don't seem to think so) and that another person is picking up on that and you are just not giving yourself enough credit. I would love an update once you know the story so contact me once you know.

Answer 2

Perhaps this type of situation is someone trying to get to know ya.
Perhaps you look like someone she may know as some people are just normally attracted to others for unknown reasons. Go up to her and ask her do I know you from somewhere? Let the conversation start from there and see what she is all about and this will end your confusion somewhat.Do not put yourself down and think fat or ugly but that I am pretty and not fat but slim and these things repeated over a period of time will fall in place for you. You will then feel better and have a better outlook on life.

Answer 3

First of all, I'm not God but I might be able to help ;-)

First you need to figure out what it is you want to do about the situation. All we out here in answer land is assume things but only you know what is right for you.

Do you really want to know why she is staring and if so why?

Maybe she is just trying to be friendly. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions because it could be a number of things - only time will tell.

Just be nice - maybe wave or say hi. Unless she starts doing more than gawking there really isn't anything to worry about.

You think she was trying to eavesdrop on your conversation, this would be the only thing I would worry about. Are you sure this is what she was doing or could it be just your imagination? Not saying it is, just asking you to think about it, only you know the answer to this.

If you are sure she was eavesdropping and it really bothers you the next time it happens you can simply stop your conversation and ask her something like "I'm sorry, can I help you" or "Did you need something" Just remain polite and see what happens.

Answer 4

Dear Confused,
I would recommend that you go out and get your damn nails done, do your hair, buy yourself a new pair of earrings, do what it takes to give yourself a healthy boost of confidence. And practice the perfect 'go to hell' smile, for the next time this pleasant little meeting replays itself.
See, women are mysterious creatures, and if this other lady is making an oddly uncomfortable approach to be friendly, the playing field will be leveled, so when you stand and smile back to this woman she'll see that you can not be intimidated, it'll feel good.
A little off the subject, my mom Amy used to say" I've been tellin' people to **** off since before it was cool." ha ha
Best wishes.

Answer 5

Lol, I actually can relate but what happen to me was the mother was a single mom, no friends and wanted to network to figure out how to go about her kids, divorce the whole new aspect of being a single mom. My advice say hi, start a conversation but make sure you set a ground you are comfortable with know what I mean? Don't panic it might be somebody just needing someone to be her friend or listen and help, good luck!

Answer 6

She may just be looking to start a friendship and doesn't know how to go about it. She may be shy and isn't sure how to talk to you. Maybe just try saying hello and ask how she's doing. If you do find she is gay and thats what the looks are for you can simply tell her then that you aren't interested. The longer it goes on the stranger you will feel around her.

Answer 7

Say hello, maybe she recognizes you from somewhere. No harm in saying hi to another mom. If she's laughing at you because of your weight then it will stop if you talk with her. Show her that you are aware that she is looking at you by approaching her to say hi. Spark a small conversation. Don't worry if she's interested in you for a lesbian romance... you can always bring up the fact that you have a wonderful husband. (even if you dont)

Answer 8

Return the smile and if the occasion comes up have a polite conversation with her in a friendly way and see where it goes from there. She may just be lonely and want a friend...who knows?????????

Answer 9

Go up to her and ask the what the fu*k is her problem? it is rude to stare, no matter how fat or thin someone is. is shes gay, just stop it cuz then u'll be in a worse situation. ask her why she keeps looking at you. and dont be self concsious about your weight. you are (apparently) a good mom and thats what is needed.

Answer 10

Maybe she thinks she knows you. Or, maybe you really do know her, but don't remember her (yet she remembers you). Chill out with the fat and ugly thing -- that's unlikely to be the reason she's looking at you. (You're not in high school for Pete's sake!) Heck, maybe she's just weird.