My sister is married to this man who belittle her to the point shes been having a anxiety attack.. hes goes to a doctor and get himself checked out. But wont even let her go to a free clinic. He wont let her have friends every time she gets a phone call he aske who shes talking to. When she does something to make him mad he threaten to take her phone away from her. He tell her she wortless and will amount to nothing.. she scared to fixs herself up fear of what he might say or think.. I tell her u have to fix urself up in order to fell good about your self... I tried everything to make her fell good about herself but he tears it down every time.. any body out there can i have your thought on this.
2006-09-19 09:58:28 · 13 answers · asked by bhart 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Sadly until your sister decides to do something about it all you can do is be there for her. Keep encouraging her. At some point hopefully she will realize what this is doing to her and what she has to do to change it.
2006-09-19 10:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the saying: "It takes two to tango"? I think if your sister's husband is horrible, maybe it's because she gives him a chance to be like that, you see.
Moreover, it seems that you are suffering from it more than she herself is suffering.
Well, I hope there are no children involved here. In this case, and if your sister doesn't love him any more (if ever she loved him) and if she is not sure that she can change the present situation, the best solution is divorce. And then move away from this man.
Now, if she wants to keep her marriage and thinks that she could find a way to make him respect her, then she must stop and say to herself: "I am going to change." She will need a strong and healthy body (a straight posture will help her a lot) and a strong mind. This must be her main objective now. It really doesn't matter if she will be able to keep this man or not, but above all she must become a strong person in body, mind and soul.
It takes time, she must stick with it, but it is worth her while, since that is all life is all about: being one's best self.
2006-09-19 17:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by JC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mum is like that, she has a new boyfriend who treats her like something on the bottom of his shoe.
She knows she doesnt deserve it but she doesnt want to loose another man.
The thing that worries me is that they're supposed to be getting married next year in California which means she has to move from England, which will cost a forture, and if things dont work out I would dread to think what could happen.
Your sister needs someone to show her that she doesnt need this kind of treatment, you could try secretly filming the worst parts of what he does and then show her the tape, it might help her decision on leaving him and going back to her regular life.
Hope I helped.
Good luck.
Let me know what you decide.
blond_bimbo6891@hotmail.co.uk
2006-09-19 17:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get out AND then figure out what she did to attract such a guy. A lot of womem would not have dated him more than once, let alone marry him. Your sister was attracted to what would repel many other women. If she does not get a handle on this, she will leave this guy only to find another just like him.
2006-09-19 19:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sister needs help!! She needs assistance getting free from that marriage and counseling for herself, for he has done enough damage to that poor girl. I was in the same predicament for 4 years, it took getting pregnant and realizing that I did not want my child to grow up and think that abuse was OK. It took years to even START feeling better about myself. Please, get her some help and away from that awful, inhumane person she calls a husband!! Bless you for seeing through this and wanting to help her! She'll need you now and forever!
2006-09-19 17:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep letting her know that you're there for her. Don't be too pushy, you don't want her husband to say she can't talk to you anymore. Let her know how great her life will be if she leaves. I hate to say it, but the only one who can get her out of this is her. She has to make that choice. All you can do is be ready when she does.
2006-09-19 17:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by feathereafter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called emotional abuse..which sometimes leads to physical abuse..she needs to leave him right away..it is clear he doesn't love her..and I hope she doesn't get tricked into thinking that he does. I'll pray for her<3
2006-09-19 17:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Brittany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to make plans for a place to stay and "GO"!
She can stay at a shelter. They know what's next on the agenda.
2006-09-19 17:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you know in your heart that this is wrong how he is treating her. You need to get her out of there now before it becomes a murder investigation.
2006-09-19 19:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by natmys333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my fiance... her soon to be ex-husband is abusive to her... he knows about me... when ever she asks him a question about her computer he yells at her tells her go away or tells her i'm busy go away.. they fight alot she has a heart murmur
her husband tells her the same thing.. her dr told her to
leave so she's moving in with me onto a better life without walking on egg shells
2006-09-19 17:11:10 · answer #10 · answered by leowyatt410 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋