i dont have no confidence and all i think about is girls and how i dont have a girlfriend, iam needy i realise and possessive, i do have mental health problems like high anxiety, low moods, low self worth that im waitin to get help for, im 29 and ive had these probs for 15 years, people have messed me up alot and ive had alot of trauma, but im determined to get through it....however just latly im always thinking about sex and girls and its makin me feel really desperate....p;lus if i have no self worth or struggle with it how my gonna get a girl or have fun with them and enjoy their company? my moods really dip most times and i find i need alot of reasssurance off people, has anyone experienced this?
2006-09-19 07:51:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
wen im in them low moods i experince paranoia to . fff**ck !!
2006-09-19 07:54:20 · update #1
Believe it or not, there are SO many men that have the same problem as you... That is why there are so many men hooked on pornography. You are just one of the few that can admit what the problem is. People look at pornography because there is no rejection, when you see that woman on the screen, you can do whatever you want in your imagination, and she isn't there to reject you... however, porn is like a black hole, it will suck you in and leave you alone and helpless (like you are now).
I don't want to push anything on you, but there is a God out there who loves you and has a purpose and a plan for your life. He loves you so much and can do so much more for you and fulfill you more than any porn could do... I was at a place once in my life where I was alone and depressed and feeling like no one loved me... and then I asked God in to my life and He has totally turned my life around... I am getting married next year to the most wonderful man in the world and I am free from everything that was holding me back before... And I have joy beyond belief! There is a void in your heart right now and only God can fill it... so many people try to fill it with porn, money, drugs, sex, etc... But nothing can fill you or satisfy you like God can...
2006-09-19 08:18:40 · answer #1 · answered by DanielleJane 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-20 11:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Internet porn is bad for you because it is addictive and winds up making the guy feel more depressed and lonely. Those people who operate those sites are taking advantage of you, and fyi they also help finance the child porn industry. Stop with the porn, you'll feel better about yourself right away. You are not a freak for thinking about sex all the time, especially if it's been awhile. It sounds like you just need to talk to someone (why are you waiting?) who can give you ideas on how to become more comfortable in your own skin. You need to give yourself a break, you are not the only person who feels the way you do. You're going to be OK, I really think so. But please, don't beat yourself up so much, your feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. You are deserving of a happy life, so just remind yourself of that when you start feeling low, remember that everytime you think positively about your life, you are banking self-confidence. Say to yourself, "I bake great cookies" or "I am damned good looking" or "I am a pretty smart guy" or whatever. Counter the negative thoughts with positive ones, and don't give up. Don't wait to talk to someone about the anxiety, etc., do it right away. Once you get the ball rolling, your self-image will improve, and all the rest will fall into place. I hope I was of some help, I know this is a tough one. Be good to yourself friend.
2006-09-19 10:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by josephine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through a period like this myself while my mother was sick with cancer and I spent most of my time alone. I would do nothing but get on the internet and read/write pornography. It preceded me cutting myself and falling to pieces in a hole of self-destruction.
So, I know what you may be going through, even if I am a female and a lot younger. I don't know all the answers, but it may help if you find someone you can really talk to. Maybe a female friend. Try to keep it platonic and nonsexual; or even find someone you're not attracted to. You probably don't need to have a sexual relationship while you're feeling this way; trust me I know I tried (It complicated my life to the point of chaos)...but having a woman to talk to and confide in could really build up your confidence and help you be less afraid when you do find someone you'd want to be with.
I feel the most compassion for you, because I've been through the same thing, have many of the same problems, still don't know exactly how to fix it. My obsession with sex has flipped to complete denial of sexual feelings recently, but I figure it's just a different form of the same thing. Sometimes I think if I could find a male friend I could trust and just talk to, it would help me a lot too.
Of course the problems are rarely as simple as just being lonely and not knowing how to change it. I know this, and you seem to by your question. There are a lot of things we can't work out on our own. I'm finally starting to think I'm going to have to see a therapist if I ever want to get better. You could give it a try, as well. So much of what's going on are due to things that you've set at the back of your mind, things from your past that you're trying to hide and escape from. A therapist can help you deal with all of these overwhelming feelings.
I wish the absolute best for you! It probably took a lot of courage to ask about this...
2006-09-19 10:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would seek some mental health therpay first, it's really unhealthy to isolate and live in a "fantasy" world with porn..
Reach out ask for help it's always out there, I feel for you that you have some insecurties, but porn is not the solution..
I don't think you desperate just need to change somethings in your life to get healthy, gain self confidence! U can do it!
Good luck
2006-09-19 08:17:41 · answer #5 · answered by Peanut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I dont spend all my time on the computer, and definatly not all my time looking at porn.....these are common symptoms of depression, social anxiety disoder, and low self esteem. I have all of those. Therepy helps. So do meds.
You also should start two journals......
one should be a daily journal of moods/feeling/how your day went in general......
the other should be a "What I like about me" journal.....in this journal, pick ONE thing about yourself that YOU like, and write down any compliments you may have recieved in the day......
The things you like could be physical, personilty traits, good deeds....etc.
2006-09-19 08:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by alissae02690 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are depressed. See a Dr and he will prescribe meds that will help you. Watching porn and feeling sorry for yourself will not help. Also get out and mingle with others. Join clubs and volunteer to help those less fortunate than you.
2006-09-19 07:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
live by a graveyard and wait till a hot young female is buried then go dig her grave up and take her body home and you can have your way with her and not be lonely..until she starts to get real decomposed and stinky then u will have to get rid of her and start again
2006-09-19 13:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If God or pills isn't for you, here is some insight...
Can you see how every desire leads to suffering?
Now I realize it seems obvious, so why persist. You haven't really understood yet.
2006-09-19 08:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Living fre got it all right...the best advice i have seen..and it is the truth...youre gonna be fine my friend
2006-09-19 09:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋