My cousin knew her husband for 9 months when they married.
She said 3 months before the wedding she felt it was wrong but was caught up in the wedding plans that she married anyway.
She said she felt they didn’t even know each other, they never talked and would ignore each other when they were at home.
She says she thinks she was never in love with him and just wanted to get married.
They have been married a year and a half now.
About a month ago, they had a BIG talk, she admitted to cheating (making out) with her co-worker.
He told her he was unhappy too and thought about cheating.
Now she says they are happy because they are communicating and he is doing “sweet” things for her.
She says she thinks she can be in love now that things are better.
Can a married couple have a happy marriage after being unhappy newlyweds?
I want them to work, but I don’t know if this "happy" phase will last!
What do you think about this?
2006-09-15 06:13:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
P.S.
They don't have any children yet!!
2006-09-15 06:13:36 · update #1
You're right, The "happy" phase won't last forever. But it's their marriage, and you never know, things might actually work out.
You said they didn't know each other that well when they got married, and the cold feet were from not talking and being open enough. That barrier is gone now. Have to see what happens.
2006-09-15 06:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by April J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe couples are marrying for the wrong reasons and that is why there are so many divorces and unhappy couples. They marry because they are lonely, need financial help, have a high sense of insecurity, partner is approved by everyone except the heart, taken as a free ticket to the best of both worlds, and so on. We are living in a very materialistic and liberated society and I believe this has a lot to do with so many unhappy marriages. I love you unconditionally, for better or for worse has become a prehistoric phrase, sadly
2016-03-17 21:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY ARE IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
STANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
2006-09-15 06:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any relationship can change. This one sounds like it's changing for the better. If they are both committed to each other, and committed to making their marriage work, then I don't think the "happy" phase will end... It will diminish, because real life eventually takes over, and everyone comes out of the newlywed phase. But hopefully they will keep trying, and be happy in their marriage.
2006-09-15 06:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. They can have a happy marriage if they never, ever bring up the past again. The problem is that after a few years when they do struggle again they may start to think back to the beginning and question if they should be together or not. If they could leave the past in the past they will have a better chance to make it down the road.
2006-09-15 06:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by RedC. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 years old almost ready to turn 18 when I met my husband. We dated a month and I got pregnant with my oldest which is now 19 years old. So we met in June of 1986, and married in November 1986. We had a very rocky road, but we made it and he is my best friend. As of November of this year we will be married 20 years. I can't tell you how proud I am of that. A marriage is what you make it, if you want it to work then it can, if you don't care then it won't. It takes two people wanting the same things, and everything else will fall into place. It takes alot of giving and not to mention alot of forgiving. You must know your wedding vowels, and follow them. Its sounds like your cousin and her husband had a rocky start, but they are communicating and that is the start of a good marriage. Good luck to all. Give her encouragement!
2006-09-15 06:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by Paulda37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first year is a killer in a new marriage - no kidding. It's tough to get through & you have to adjust to everything!!! If they can continue to communicate with one another & they really REALLY listen to what the other person is saying, then yes, they can have a happy marriage. She sounds as though she was really immature but may be slowly achieving some maturity & wisdom. If her husband can overlook her actions & they continue to grow together, there's hope. I wish them luck!! You are very sweet to be so concerned - best advice I can give you; don't choose sides & don't interfere unless asked. And even if you're asked, think long & hard before putting in your 2 cents worth.
2006-09-15 06:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can they be happy? Sure, why not. But in terms of this happy phase lasting, well they have to understand the cyclic nature of a marriage. Sometimes they'll be wonderfully happy, other times less so, still others they'll even be "on the outs" (you know, quarreling, etc.). Some of these phases will last days, some weeks, some may last months.
All this is normal.
So, the question shouldn't be "can they be happy", the answer to that simple question is "yes, but don't expect it all the time". The real questions, the ones that are important, are "can they make their marriage last" and "can it be a rewarding, fulfilling marriage even though they're not necessarily happy every minute of every day".
Just my $0.02.
2006-09-15 06:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your cousin got married too soon and they have to learn to get to know each other (from the start) and accept the fact that they are family now. Stop concentrating on life around them for a minute and focus on each other.. learn about each other, have hobbies... do them together. Be involve in each others' lives and be compromise. Be loyal and have the respect for each other... it's very important because before they finally decide if this married is going to work, they don't want more issue to come between them. Don't try too hard to work things out... it can take time, just don't give up. Make sure that they are being themselves and let them know who they really are.
Seek married counseler... if they both agree to it. It takes two (always) to work out a relationship and married.
2006-09-15 06:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by xp office 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really good question? I am kind of in the same boat! Me and my husband knew each other for a little over a year, we have now been married only a little over three months, and we have been hitting the part of "do we want this, or not". The thing with me is that he left me three weeks after our wedding (no honeymoon) and went to Ohio for a week and two days without me! I maybe it is me but it is still a hard pill to swallow! I am hopeful that things can work out, because I was serious when I said the vows!.. I guess it is all in how bad you want things to work....
2006-09-15 06:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋