Is it wrong to go to a marriage councilor seeking help for my husband and I....Only to start having a sexual relationship with my therapist? He's also married so now I feel like I have resolved some problems in my life, but have a whole new different set of issues starting? What should I do?
2006-09-15 06:07:26 · 39 answers · asked by Karen 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suggest you try the reverse cowgirl. It will change your view on things
2006-09-15 06:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should memorize this song: "Kayay Ary Inn Eye Essay Ess Tee Eye Inn Kay Ear."
A long time ago, my (former) wife suggested that "we" needed to see a marriage counsellor, so we did... and then we got divorced. Someone made the mistake of pointing out to me all the ways the law permits disgruntled ex-wives to burden, encumber and harrass their former husbands, evidently to scare me into submission to my (former) wife's dominance. But instead it made me angry and stubborn, and put me into a frame of mind in which I would accept any challenge and fight any battle.
Men rightly view third party meddlers as the opening shots in a war, and it does not matter that the meddler has a degree in psychology.
But the meddler you chose didn't play by the rules, did he? If your husband knows, or finds out, about you and your therapist having sex, he will have grounds to file for divorce on account of adultery. In some states, that means he won't have to pay you anything just because you were his wife.
In fact, that's how it should always be. To prove that, I make an analogy:
If I go to work for an employer and stay with his company for 10 years of my life, ten years in which I devoted my time to making my boss richer and happier, ten years in which I sacrificed the pursuit of my own goals and personal development (educational and otherwise) to the goals of my employer, none of those considerations entitles me to a continuing income from that employer if, for any reason, he chooses to fire me. Until the day I retire, I don't really know whether I've invested my time with that employer wisely... or disastrously. It's a gamble that I must take.
A woman who marries a man should get no implicit contractual advantages that a man cannot also get. If he doesn't have a claim on her money after the divorce, then she should likewise have no claim on his. A divorce is A DIVORCE, an ending, a parting of the ways, and neither of the former spouses should hold any further leash on the other. Each of the former spouses should be able to live as though the other did not exist. Otherwise, the divorce wasn't really a divorce, but an enslavement masquerading as a divorce.
I wonder whether your husband put your therapist up to seducing you, as a subterfuge, so he could actually get the freedom that he should have been entitled to have anyway. A trick like that would have saved me much trouble in the twenty years following my divorce. I was just too straightforward a person to think of it, and I was too honest to do such a thing even if it had been suggested to me.
2006-09-15 06:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by David S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be pissed at your so called therapist! He took advantage of you and your situation. He also violated his oath and what he has done, (and I'm sure he's done it before) is grounds for him to lose his license. How can he be a marriage counselor if he's cheating on his own wife? What a pig. You were wrong for what you did but that therapist took you for a fool! Dump your therapist and seek counseling from a minister WITH your husband. Marriage is sacred and that therapist knows nothing about it!
2006-09-15 06:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by Kingdom_Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 'therapist' has crossed the line - and should not ethically be practicing. Both of you are to blame for the indescretion - but now this act has opened the relationship that you were trying to mend to a whole new level of screwed up. Come clean - deal with the mistake - and move on. At this point, the relationship may be unsalvageable.
2006-09-15 06:13:52 · answer #4 · answered by oscarschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh!!!! you are a skank wh*re!!! You are obviously can't work a relationship and have the respect for anyone... not even yourself. You aren't only destroying your family, but others. You can just get a divorce and start being a full time slut. let your husband go and stop see married man... shame on you! You're on your way to Hell... just to let you know.
On top of that, that lame *** therapist of your needs to be reported... he's using you like an old sock!!! You deserve this and your husband deserves to know the truth and you better report him and make sure he won't do this to anyone else... but then again, it takes two to tango. Never mind... you're just a whore!!!
2006-09-15 06:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by xp office 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity is ALWAYS wrong! Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy! You need to be honest with yourself and your husband. If your marriage is not what you want than be brave enough to let it go and move on. Just think how you would feel if you thought you had a happy home and then found out your spouse was cheating on you. Think of someone other than yourself and put yourself on the other side of the fence sort of speak before you possibly ruin someone else's life.
2006-09-15 06:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what if you just sucked off the therapist and continued sleeping with your husband? Would that solve your problem? Or maybe you could get the therapist to video his sexual encounters with his wife and you and your husband could watch them?
2006-09-15 07:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by arl21amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your therapist has pulled a huge no no and if it gets found out he/she could lose their license. I suggest that you stop this affair immediately. If you don't you could end up losing your marriage. I'm sure that you don't want that or you would not have sought out a therapist in the first place to work out your marriage.
2006-09-15 06:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Medical and Business Information 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very unethical behavior on the part of your therapist( you too).I would venture to say there was little value to any "Therapy" there.Try finding a real therapist and maybe you should take your husband this time.
2006-09-15 06:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is crime for the marriage counselor to enter in any relation with the patient and to enter into sexual relation is just unbelievable. Health provider, like doctor, counselor, are there to help and not to take advantage of patient. I think that you should report such abuse to the authorities, to protect other women who seek help to become victims.
2006-09-15 06:23:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes... that is called cheating and you have cheated on your husband with someone is suppose to help.. how is that helping ..
what you need to do is go get help and find a female who can help you maybe that will help you keep your legs closed if your not gay or something I feel bad for your husband...
You needto find out what you want to do..
Be faithful to the man you married or be single and date and have sex with anyone that you want to
However, do not lead him on and he did not need to be think about if he was doing to you how would you feel
2006-09-15 06:21:38 · answer #11 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋