A friend of mine told me in his first year of marriage that he knew they would end up divorcing.
He said it was too hard to get along with his new wife and he felt it was a mistake.
Counseling for a year didn’t help and now the wife told him she hasn’t been in love for a LONG time.
They just celebrated their two year anniversary and decided to throw in the towel.
He said they were struggling from day one to keep their marriage together.
Do you think people can tell in their 1st year or two of marriage if they will remain happily married or divorce?
For those who divorced: did you know in the first year or two that it wasn’t working out?
2006-09-15 05:49:01 · 17 answers · asked by HappyHippo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess you have a gut feeling right away if you know something's going to be wrong. However, you can't generalize every experience/relationship. We all know some people who have been married for decades still get divorced, and some claim to be really happy too all that time...obviously, people can make mistakes at any given time, and it's up to the partner to forgive/move on, or say enough is enough.
2006-09-15 07:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people jump into marriage way too soon. I knew my husband and I would be happily married before we even got married. Now, it hasn't been all roses but we love eachother. The first two years are hard, you're still trying to get to know eachother. The reason divorce is so common is that people don't go into it thinking this is THE person they will spend the rest of their lives with. They leave the option open that they could always get divorced if it doesn't work out. I went into my marriage knowing that this is my husband for life and only death will divide us. If more people actually honored their vows we wouldn't have the divorce rate we do.
2006-09-15 06:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jnine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband YES! I was married to him and within the 6 first months I left him, we got back together (don't know why I took him back) but he was murdered the day before our first wedding anniversary. So I had know choice but to be single after that. It is almost like we got back together (even though we didn't really love each other) beforee he died, so he had someone to be with befor he died. The world works in mysterious ways. (f y i) He was stabbed through the heart by a acquaintance. Died within 2 minutes, there was no saving him. It was sad, but the guy is in prison for life.
My husband now, we fight, but we love each other, and we have already been married 2 years last month. I think we will be together for years to come. Even with fighting, it could make a relationship stronger.
2006-09-15 06:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by ebertlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you would be able to tell. I was married to a man that i truly loved, for 2 years then we decided to get married. Oh boy 2 months of marriage i found a ring in his jacket along with a love letter, that right there was a red flag to get out quick, but the sad thing is that i stayed because i loved him. 1 month later he left me, in Hawaii pregnant with our child. To be with the girl that wrote him that love letter. So if you think that it isn't right for you think twice, talk about it, because sometimes counseling is not the question. Leaving and having your own life is. My son is 10 now and his father doesn't want anything to do with him. So leave before children get involved because they are the ones that will get hurt, as for you personally you can always find someone else.
2006-09-15 05:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by rmc95687@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is better to get to know the person really well before you get married. There are alot of people that get married for the sake of just getting married. It takes two people working together to make the marriage work. I had my share of separations and my husband and I would some how find our way back to each other. We were getting ready to go back to each other, until he died. He will always remain in my heart because that is the kind of love we had for each other.
2006-09-15 05:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by red1967 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically you would have to make a decision.
To stay together it is simple: Don't cheat, Don't leave and the marriage could go on forever.
Whether it would be a happy one...who knows. Premarital counseling prior to having kids would be really great, even if you are already married. That will sort out finances, responsibilities and all kinds of things one doesn't think about until they get married and take it in the teeth.
If you are unsure, just please don't make any more or any babies. Just go.
2006-09-15 05:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first year of marriage is a great way of seeing if your relationship will last..if the first year sucks..your marriage will probably we a roller coaster ride..times great but other times watch out..you never know when it'll end
2006-09-15 06:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know the first year i did not know if it was going to work or not. unless there is some serious problems in the first year it is still new and fresh. the first year it hard to figure out things u should just wait for 6 more months and see what happens
2006-09-15 05:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by lady-t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually knew before I got married but I was stubborn and he was the only person I had been with. We became roomates not partners he was selfish I cheated it wasn't meant to be we lasted 1 year.
2006-09-15 05:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought the length is based upon the foundation of the relationship and how much you are willing to be selfless. If these two don't work how do you expect the relationship to?
2006-09-15 05:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by 4me2no&u2findout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋