I am 25 years old & broke up with my fiancee 2 months ago. She is saying cruel things to me because i am still single & over wieght. Why cant she understand that life its not all about having a guy with you!!
2006-09-14 10:27:47 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi Simone Ray, (pretty name),
Sometimes Mothers don't understand this because they think that you will never be a whole person without a man next to you. I feel that this is wrong (no disrecpect to your Mom) because a woman as young as you shouldn't settle for just any man. You mentioned that you were overweight, and I'll ask this of you, how do you feel when your Mom says that? I can imagine, not very good. Talk to her and tell her that she is hurting your feelings, tell her that it is not necessary to have a man if he isn't for you. Tell her that you are happy the way you are and to stop saying mean things to you. As far as the weight if it bothers you, start walking every evening or when you can. You can loose weight and don't have to kill yourself doing it. I have an older daugther named Athena, and many people, including her grandma (my mother) keep saying that she was going to an old maid, just because she was trying to find the right guy for herself. She had a lot of suitors but she kept praying and God would always ask her to wait. At the age of 31 years old she found a wonderful man that adores her. So the moral of my story is sometimes waiting it what is best. Don't allow anyone to misuse you and say bad things about you, if anything just ignore her. God knows what He has planned for you. Just wait give it time.
So sweetheart, do not worry, things will be allright for you, if not at 31years old it could be later, but you will find the man of your dreams. May God bless you and give you the serenity you need.
2006-09-14 10:44:33 · answer #1 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She would like to see you on your own, happy and settled, so she can stop feeling responsible for you. The pressure for grandchildren will start as soon as you marry(if ever). You don't say how much overweight you are, but if it's a lot, then she probably feels that is one of the obstacles to your happiness, married or not. So many people (men and women) have this notion that your life is not complete without a partner. It's not true, but you would have a devil of a time convincing THEM of that. I could ramble on, but I won't. I'm sorry that I can't offer a magic wand. Good Luck.
2006-09-14 10:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart to heart with your mom & let her know you would appreciate it if she would stop saying you need to be married. Tell her that you need time to focus on yourself so you can be happy. Start working out & exercising; your whole world will change. Working out makes you feel good about yourself & it will show outwordly! You're too young to be saying you're overweight. Take care of yourself, you don't want to have problems later in life due to your weight. You will feel great mentally & physically without a guy!
2006-09-14 10:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by bcre8ive2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because in past generations, a lot of women were taught that their purpose in life was to be a wife...don't worry about that sweetie...live your life for YOU, not anyone else...
Your Mom may not change her views, but you can let her know that you don't feel it's necessary to have a man in your life to make it fulfilled or to make you a worthwhile person...you can do those things on your own...your happiness should be more important to her than whether or not you marry...
2006-09-14 10:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her read this:
Dear Lady,
Is it so hard to understand that being a parent doesn't give you a property title over them, they do not belong to you, you only raise them, feed them, etc. ??
After 18, they are on their own, you have to face it.
You better hug your girl and help her to minimize the bad feeling of breaking up with the guy.
Whatever bothers you, is none of her business.
So, If you are not going to help her, at least, leave her alone .
2006-09-14 10:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Classy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ewww an old fashioned type of mom. Tell your mom (in a nice way) to butt out of your personal life. Marriage should be about marrying somebody you love and care about, not about how fast you can get hooked up.
2006-09-14 10:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lemme guess, you're mom's been married since she was 16? It's probably all she knows and she can't relate to your independence. Plus, she probably wants grandchildren. But, it's no excuse for her to say mean things to you. Tell her to worry about her own problems- as I'm sure she has some.
2006-09-14 10:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by LAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you...I am only 22 and my mom keeps hounding me about finding a man! I want to finish college first and find myself first. I dont know why some moms dont understand this. She thinks I am weird or something. She got married at 17 and if that is what her heart told her to do thats fine but thats not what mine in telling me! We just need to find ourselves first!
2006-09-14 10:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by BahamaBlue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're mother sounds like she's over bearing and pushy. It's your decision whter or not you marry this guy. And whatever your reason/s are that should be enough for your mother. It's not the end of the world!
2006-09-14 10:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her.................you would be stuck with a man you did not want to be with long after she is gone.
Distance yourself from her.
Congratulations for recognizing that you did not want to marry that person.
Start eating right for your own sake and well being.............because you love you..........
Fruits, veggies, dairy, meats fish, grains, in small amounts, take high potency vitamins and BREATH a sign of relief that you are IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE and THAT YOU DO NOT BEND TO RIDICULOUS CRITICISM AND PRESSURE.
Best of luck, hope you and your skinnier healthier self finds that great guy that you deserve.
I have come to realize that you cannot explain a reasonable position to an irrational person and have it make sense to them. (no offense to your mother)
2006-09-14 10:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋